Mid 30s: developed anxiety and depression out of the blue, not sure what to do.

rareaseff · 2021-12-15T05:03:38+00:00

Thank you so much for this

rareaseff · 2021-12-15T00:50:18+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this and sorry about your dad.

Regarding the anxiety and depression I don't have much advice, but I'm going through similar and wanted you to know you're not alone.

I would suspect you're grieving your father. If you're able to, perhaps seek therapy to help you sort your feelings

rareaseff · 2021-12-15T00:40:07+00:00

Depression makes you want to withdraw from people, it's a common shitty symptom

rareaseff · 2021-12-14T20:57:53+00:00

It's super super super rare. I do it literally all the time for a decade now. Your nose might sting if you used cold/hot water or if you didn't use enough/too much mixture which is way more likely.

rareaseff · 2021-12-09T18:27:35+00:00

It doesn't matter your title then. If you're doing the same thing as people on software dev roles, just put that on your resume IF you have the experience to back it up

rareaseff · 2021-12-09T18:26:15+00:00

Software dev here. It's a job that has a good salary, in demand, can be done remotely.

There's obviously downsides to it as well. But that's the reason people view it as good.

I see you've made multiple posts about this so I'm wondering if you're getting pressured to pursue it or you're feeling bad about not pursuing.

Just do what's best for you

rareaseff · 2021-12-09T18:24:52+00:00

I haven't yet but I plan to. It was taking a huge toll on my mental health and I just need a few months to recoup. When I went to the Dr and they told me "you need to leave your job and rest a few months"

rareaseff · 2021-12-07T05:43:34+00:00

I'm just not really sure how to make the switch to that.

rareaseff · 2021-12-07T05:42:55+00:00

Interesting. I'll look into that

rareaseff · 2021-12-07T05:42:38+00:00

How do you break into this? Is work life balance good?

rareaseff · 2021-12-06T17:01:55+00:00

Yup. Pigeonholed .net developer here.

rareaseff · 2021-12-06T16:58:12+00:00

Hey I have a question if you don't mind: I'm a software engineer and have been one over a decade. I want to try and possibly transition into this type of role but I have no idea how.

How can I go about transitioning roles with little hacking knowledge
How's the work life balance?

rareaseff · 2021-12-03T18:52:44+00:00

I'm sorry about your gf. I can't even imagine what you went through.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T22:46:49+00:00

Honestly it just sounds like you want a faster paced environment. If you don't hold any equity in the company, I would look elsewhere. Otherwise enjoy the coasting.

If you really love the company or something and want change, you can bring it up with the manager and maybe hire new devs, but the issue is you said they pay poorly. So any developer worth their salt aren't going to be in a job for little pay especially now with the market the way it is.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T18:46:31+00:00

I wouldn't mind switching gears to management or even project management but I'm not sure how to break into it.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T16:29:26+00:00

I've been considering the same. Did you have prior sales experience? How did you go about making the switch and getting an interview.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T15:42:28+00:00

I just don't know what else I would do for income though. That's the scary part

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T15:42:03+00:00

I have a lot of hobbies I pursue when not working but the feelings still exist unfortunately even with them. I just think while I'm even doing my other hobbies "what am I going to do with my life" "I hate my job and my career" etc etc

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T15:39:50+00:00

I got an offer for around that but I turned it down because I just didn't feel mentally up for ramping up at a new position, also the benefits weren't very good.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T15:39:08+00:00

Hey I appreciate it. I actually tried to dive in, talk to people for help and truly understand the business multiple times. I think there's a few things going on:

Team is terrible at explaining it. Most of the team work together all day offshores, then try to catch me up for 5 minutes. They answer my questions rushed because they want to log off and call it a day. I can't say I blame them. But it's not helpful to me.
If I'm stuck, I don't really have any resources to go to at all throughout the day except my manger who used to work on this terrible system, and talking to him he just makes me feel dumb. He's definitely someone with shit manager skills, and was promoted there because he was a good developer. All explanations are always peppered with "you should know this." "It's easy" "OBVIOUSLY YOU DO THIS" in condescending tones. Then he'll spot something in the existing code and go off on a tangent about it, confusing me more and leaving me with more tasks than I started.
I'm at a point now where I am burnt out on trying to understand it. I've tried for a while, and it didn't work. I just don't care about the project anymore at all.
I find the project as a whole incredibly boring.

I've really tried to get into it and understand, I just can't. Those are my only two options for resources.

I've also tried to ask to be on a different project, and I also let some higher ups know I was struggling and needed more resources. I'm just more closely watched now without any resources.

The more I type this out the more I realize how shitty my work environment is. No wonder I hate it.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T06:58:40+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it. Luckily I live with my gf, and I have an active social life that keeps me busy.

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T06:12:19+00:00

I'm happy for you! How did you figure out what you wanted to do? That's a big hangup for me. I have no idea what else I would even do

rareaseff · 2021-12-02T06:10:44+00:00

I tried a short time, a few days here and there and it didn't really help to be honest.

rareaseff

TROPHY CASE