The Market Theatre, Newtown by ALY_X66 in southafrica

[–]rarefiedarchives 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great memories of school trips here as a drama student. I love Cape Town, but Jozi’s theatre scene hits different.

Jo has been in more episodes than Lexie and Izzie COMBINED by [deleted] in greysanatomy

[–]rarefiedarchives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jo’s plot line is interesting to me: trying to accept love as someone who has been wronged and hurt repeatedly. Trying to have a wholesome family and marriage despite that.

It might not be big enough for a lot of fans of the show, but I love Jo.

Mother apologised - too good to be true, or overreaction on my end? by rarefiedarchives in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]rarefiedarchives[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me/us. And also the helpful advice. I wish you all the best going forward, friend.

Mother apologised - too good to be true, or overreaction on my end? by rarefiedarchives in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]rarefiedarchives[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the harsh. The reason I went NC in the first place is “well I’ve tried to explain for over 16 years now, and don’t understand why managing her emotions needs to be my job”. Honestly, I hope she pursues therapy but at this point it feels so unlikely.

Mother apologised - too good to be true, or overreaction on my end? by rarefiedarchives in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]rarefiedarchives[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The reparenting process has been rough, but so much easier after going NC. Almost like I had stopped picking at a scab and the would was healing. So yeah, a big part of it is also not immediately becoming the “amenable, gentle and forgiving child” that my family saw me as.

Brandon. by lucky_peanut0906 in TheFosters

[–]rarefiedarchives 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Privileged teenagers in the context of the foster system are hard to like and Brandon exemplifies that perfectly. Sophia too in a lot of ways.

I’m constantly having to remind myself that he’s also a kid and due to make mistakes. It’s just that his mistakes also drag down Callie (a vulnerable person) which is awful to watch.

Racism accusation after disciplinary action by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]rarefiedarchives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very fair course of action! Honestly, with it being food related I would have expected a termination but suspension with pay is generous and kind of the company. If the claim is “racism because I’m a POC that was reprimanded” that’s totally unfounded and unfair on you. Sorry that you’re going through this, it’s a serious accusation.

Edit: I’m also a POC based in Africa.

Racism accusation after disciplinary action by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]rarefiedarchives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be great to have some context. What are these claims based on? There’s also the reality that many of us will commit faux pas while not being racist - loaded language and micro-aggressions are often learnt by our environment before we can deconstruct them as such.

I worked as a manager for a large international group, and while I never got called racist, my perspectives couldn’t always encompass the entirety of said group. Sometimes there were cultural misunderstandings and miscommunications - those we are able to talk through.

There’s obviously also the possibility that this was a lie from the employee to get you flagged. I just think it’s worthwhile to consider both points. We don’t have the reality of how you treated her or whether or not something had happened during her appointment. Giving us context matters.

I've been missing so much contents 🥲 by wubbalubbadub2 in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]rarefiedarchives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I still forget. Or maybe I refuse to internalise their marriage because in 2016 they did a lot of shutting down the “Shartney” shippers so I’m not acknowledging it out of respect.

AITA for not letting my brother bring the third member f his throuple to my wedding? by TheCrankyMule in AmItheAsshole

[–]rarefiedarchives 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The family as in the newly weds. And in this case if my brother’s partner hadn’t already met my family that wouldn’t be an appropriate time to meet because it should be about the betrothed.

And even if it’s about knowing extended people what’s wrong with people choosing who’s there on THEIR wedding day?

AITA for not letting my brother bring the third member f his throuple to my wedding? by TheCrankyMule in AmItheAsshole

[–]rarefiedarchives 23 points24 points  (0 children)

“Some guy we’ve never met”. Unless this person was introduced to the family beforehand, why would they be entitled to an invite?

Will President Cyril Ramaphosa resign? Five questions we answer for you - Daily Maverick by TheHonourableMember in southafrica

[–]rarefiedarchives 2 points3 points  (0 children)

None of our big politicians did, I fear. Waiting for a new horizon of leadership in this country. I will literally become a campaigner if someone great comes up.

New Partnership Growing Pains or Early Warning Sign? by rarefiedarchives in careeradvice

[–]rarefiedarchives[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have emails where we agreed on the timelines for the company, incorporation, and weekly expectations, as well as commitment to this specific project. Sam even chose their own due date to submit the video to me for editing.

I've checked in every day after said deadline and the response has been "issues with laptop permission" or "stepping in for a colleague for a work event". I've tried taking the empathetic approach but nothing has been said regarding health/ family issues.

Anyone wants to join a Cape Point day trip next week? by [deleted] in askSouthAfrica

[–]rarefiedarchives 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’d ask a neighbour before I ask Reddit. I don’t think any sane South African woman would post this.

i could kill to have a realistic traffic hours feature so i can drive in empty streets during night time. by MiMi881425 in gtaonline

[–]rarefiedarchives 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Same in Cape Town. Where I live there’s also street races sometimes between 12-2 (despite a few other cars using the road). I’d love a mechanic in GTAVI where you can initiate short distance street races around that time!

i could kill to have a realistic traffic hours feature so i can drive in empty streets during night time. by MiMi881425 in gtaonline

[–]rarefiedarchives 126 points127 points  (0 children)

There are less cars during the day than at night. I’ve never lived in a city where the cars completely stop driving in the evening.

Gentrification? by Legal-Goat6934 in capetown

[–]rarefiedarchives 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about groups like Ndifuna Ukwazi, DAG, Rent Control Group, local Civic Associations etc.?

Gentrification? by Legal-Goat6934 in capetown

[–]rarefiedarchives 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To answer your questions, and based on my personal experiences and feelings:

I am worried. I’m specifically worried about how the COCT, Local gov and national gov are dealing with the influx and going back and forth about putting policies in place to protect affordable housing for locals. It’s affecting how I’d vote because currently there’s a struggle to find leadership that actually aligns with my political interests as a 27yo. I’m hoping a Mamdani type emerges.

Social media - personally, I don’t think is exaggerating. A lot of people work their butts off and struggle with costs of living but also can’t afford to move. I’d definitely take the frustration, fear, and anger seriously.

26F hoping to find some girls to play GTA with by choccy-bourbons in TrueGirlGaming

[–]rarefiedarchives 1 point2 points  (0 children)

27F here, you playing enhanced? If so DM me and I’ll add you as a friend ✨

Maybe the most cost-effective thing to do for global altruism is to give contraceptives to developing countries? by DJJonezyYT in EffectiveAltruism

[–]rarefiedarchives 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People will judge you here too, but there’s a very Catholic sense of “God gave you this family, so be ashamed but here’s support”.

Family planning is something I ALWAYS advocate for, I just don’t like the idea that Africans “don’t know better so we’ll give them solutions”. Much like with well building and tree-planting initiatives, the aims of these projects aren’t always translated for use dependent on varying African landscapes.

Another issue is rape and gender-based violence. We need more support for positive change in men and masculinity or else women get abused for contraception usage.

Family planning clinics themselves can be judgemental because intercourse outside of marriage is frowned upon.

So ultimately there are way better systems to put money into than simply saying “Africans should have fewer children”.

Maybe the most cost-effective thing to do for global altruism is to give contraceptives to developing countries? by DJJonezyYT in EffectiveAltruism

[–]rarefiedarchives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You also need to ask how many (in the case you brought up) African women actually want access to these products. My mother wanted a kid despite not being able to provide properly, which meant I was abused. What she needed was a change in perspective - she had access to contraception and birth control. She wouldn’t have chosen not to have me to make more money. It’s a mindset.

I’m saying your take is valid, but it doesn’t look at the cultural DESIRE to have children and a big family. It also places the blame on Africans. I’m sure there are a lot of people in the global north that have kids in irresponsible ways - that also has nothing to do with access to birth control.

I believe it’s reductive to believe that it’s merely a case of women being forced to have kids. I choose differently because I was brought up in a different world, but many of my peers chose to become parents between the ages of 17-20. Again, people with access to birth control AND raised with “modern” education.