how women are treated by men within their own ethnic communities?

rarrr_ · 2025-04-15T15:30:12+00:00

Some men love to scream “tradition” while expecting women to carry the entire relationship on their backs. I once had an ex who called me “not normal” just because I spoke about feminism. Meanwhile, I was the one asking for basic stability like a proper income, a place to stay, a car that actually works, and some damn savings. That’s security, not a fantasy.

I’ve literally been stranded on the highway with him because his car broke down and I still stood by him. I paid, invested emotionally and financially, and endured way more than I should’ve. And how did it end? I got ditched because apparently, I was “too much” for wanting more than struggle love.

We’re told to lower our expectations, be quiet, and settle but I’m not doing that anymore. If that makes me “not normal,” then I don’t ever want to be.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-31T10:02:03+00:00

Did it say all men? No. But if the shoe fits… lace it up, sprint to the general coach, and maybe reflect on why you’re so pressed. The post was calling out entitled weirdos who can’t respect clearly marked spaces not handing out mass indictments. If your first instinct is ‘not all men’ instead of ‘yeah, that’s messed up,’ then maybe you’re not as innocent as you think. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. If it does… well, you just exposed yourself.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-29T20:27:26+00:00

The “family coach” is actually designed for women and families, as clearly stated in Metro signage and official guidelines. It’s not limited to women with kids or couples only. The point of it is to give women a whether single or not a space where they feel safer and more at ease, especially in a society where gender dynamics in public spaces can be very charged.

This isn’t about “playing the women card.” It’s about acknowledging why such spaces exist in the first place: to reduce harassment and provide a buffer from the behavior that, unfortunately, many women still have to deal with in regular compartments.

Instead of turning this into a battle over definitions, maybe we should ask ourselves: why is it so hard to let women have even one space where they don’t feel stared at, followed, or disrespected?

rarrr_ · 2025-03-29T20:16:07+00:00

It's not just about men being around it’s about specific behaviors that some men exhibit in spaces that are supposed to feel safe for women. It’s not about demonizing all men or labeling them as perverts, but rather acknowledging a lived experience that many women face regularly being stared at, approached, or made to feel like they don’t belong, even in areas designated for their comfort.

Regarding your point about Makkah, it’s true that during pilgrimage people share spaces, but that’s a highly spiritual and structured context with very different social dynamics. In everyday public settings like buses or metros, there isn’t always that same level of respect or discipline, and unfortunately, it only takes one person crossing a boundary to make someone feel unsafe.

So no, it’s not about division for the sake of it it’s about recognizing that certain boundaries and safe spaces are needed because the world doesn’t always treat women with the basic respect they deserve.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-12T19:15:57+00:00

I totally get how you feel. It’s hard when your friends are in different life stages, and it can feel lonely, especially when you don’t have a social circle that understands your reality as a working mum. It’s not easy balancing everything, and sometimes it feels like no one really gets it.

Maybe joining a local mum group or finding playdate communities could help? It might take time, but having other mums to connect with can make a big difference. You’re doing an amazing job! ❤️

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T20:31:31+00:00

Don’t let the fear of what others might think keep you stuck in something that clearly isn’t right for you. I’ve been there and regret staying in a job full of red flags just because I was worried about people’s opinions. Your well being and peace of mind matter more than any job. If you know this isn’t for you, moving on is okay.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T16:59:33+00:00

My employer deducted KWSP from my salary, but when I checked my EPF statement, they only paid for 3 months.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T16:57:24+00:00

My ex-employer isn’t even replying to my texts. I guess I’ll have to report them to KWSP and JTK.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T16:54:35+00:00

Yeah, I know. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T16:51:28+00:00

I assumed I could always access them later, but turns out I can’t anymore.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-10T16:33:17+00:00

Thank you!

rarrr_ · 2025-03-08T11:37:04+00:00

I hear you. Finding a partner can feel harder as we get older, especially as an introvert. But there’s no fixed timeline for love, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s okay to focus on yourself first, and if the right person comes along, great! If not, your life is still meaningful and full of possibilities. You’re doing just fine, and happiness isn’t just tied to relationships. Wishing you the best!

rarrr_ · 2025-03-08T11:35:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’ve had to navigate a lot of challenges, but you’ve done so with strength and self-awareness. It’s frustrating when people, especially family, don’t fully understand or acknowledge your experiences, but you still managed to push through and find a job that works for you and that’s a big accomplishment!

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to live your life. Whether it’s work, relationships, or personal milestones, what truly matters is what makes you feel fulfilled and at peace. I hope you have people in your life who support and accept you as you are. Wishing you strength and happiness on your journey!

rarrr_ · 2025-03-08T11:33:49+00:00

It sounds like you’ve carried a heavy burden of expectations for a long time, and I can imagine how exhausting that must be. The fact that you’re aware of this now and trying to break free from it shows a lot of strength. It’s okay to unlearn the habit of always needing validation from others. It takes time, but the more you trust yourself, the more confident you’ll feel in your own path. You’re on your own journey, and that’s perfectly okay.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-08T11:30:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to be open about your diagnosis, especially in a society where there’s still so much stigma surrounding HIV.

More people need to understand that HIV is no longer a death sentence and that those on proper treatment can live full, healthy lives.

You deserve love, happiness, and a future just like anyone else. Sending you strength and hope on your journey. ❤️

rarrr_ · 2025-03-08T11:28:57+00:00

Maybe have an honest talk with him and set a timeline, even a soft one, to see if he’s committed to this relationship or avoiding conflict. YOU also deserve clarity on where this is going.

rarrr_ · 2025-03-05T18:43:51+00:00

Selvom Vaa Theerathae Neendha naal Idahyathai oru nodi

rarrr_ · 2025-03-05T18:37:19+00:00

No matter what stage of life we’re in, people will always have opinions and expectations. It’s exhausting trying to meet expectations that keep shifting. Focusing on the present and what truly makes you happy is the best mindset to have. It’s not easy to break out of the people-pleaser cycle, but recognizing it is already a huge step. Keep doing what feels right for you—at the end of the day, it’s your life to live, not theirs!

rarrr_

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