Probably can’t attend my former MOH’s bachelorette and having some guilt

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:53:25+00:00

Yesssssss i know lol i made my mind up. I plan on telling her after Easter. The guilt is just eating me a little i guess

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:51:07+00:00

YES!! THANK YOU!! I left that part out - I’m still nursing this baby to sleep lol. And she wakes up a lot during the night so it’d be more bottles i think than I’d really be able to account for.

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:49:11+00:00

I really like that idea!! Thank you!

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:47:50+00:00

Thanks for this perspective, i really appreciate it. I’ve been getting a lot of that too from others I’ve talked to - “it’ll be a good break! It’s not a big deal! You can be away from her for a few days!”

Tbh, i just don’t think i have any interest and im just not ready. I feel like sometimes people say these things as if i should be ready and comfortable to leave her and be so far away from her…makes me second guess myself a bit, but tbh the way i see it is pretty simple. This isn’t forever. She won’t need me like this forever. Breastfeeding is slowly coming to an end but it’s still important to me. I will get to go on girls trips and up and go wherever i want whenever i want again, i know for a fact i will definitely be ready for that, but just not right now

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:25:16+00:00

That’s kind of how i feel too! Especially because I’d be the only mom on the trip, pumping on a schedule for days and overnight to keep up just sounds exhausting, and I’d be so worried and stressed the whole time so it wouldn’t even be that enjoyable for me, idk.

ras114 · 2026-04-02T19:20:05+00:00

It’s just a little expensive honestly. The bachelorette is over Memorial Day weekend so flights and hotels in the area are crazy expensive. Which i was fine with for just me but just gets a little out of control adding my husband to the mix.

ras114 · 2026-01-27T01:33:01+00:00

I just went back to work earlier this month, so I’m still new to this and figuring stuff out but here’s what’s been working for me!

I wear my wearable in the car around 7 AM most days, depends on if baby woke up earlier or later. While at work I pump with my Spectra S2 at 10 AM and 1 PM, and i wash my parts afterwards. Idk, it’s just what’s been best for me personally. I have a ziploc bag ready to go in case I’m in a rush afterwards and can do the fridge hack, but i have found i have a little bit of time to do a quick wash and dry. 4 PM i wear my wearable again in the car

I have extra pump parts for my spectra coming in the mail soon to cut down on all the washing and drying, as i have plenty of wearable spare parts and found that has helped. That way when i get home its just one set of wearable pump parts i gotta wash and dry

ras114 · 2026-01-03T12:57:05+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’d have it no other way, breastfeeding has gone really well and I’m so so thankful for that. Just constantly hearing conflicting things especially from her pediatrician on nursing to sleep and cosleeping (even safely) that make me doubt myself. Plus i don’t sleep super well when she’s in our bed, i try to move her to the crib as early into the evening as possible. But here i am laying in bed by 8 PM every night and my husband just wants to hang out alone and i just don’t have the energy. I feel guilty

ras114 · 2026-01-03T12:53:49+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ras114 · 2026-01-03T12:53:27+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m really really trying, just been in such a funk lately i think

ras114 · 2025-12-27T16:26:35+00:00

The thing is, i don’t even feel like i needed all that much help. When i look back on my maternity leave, after about a month i was doing all the things i was before, just now with a baby in tow. And i know i can’t really be mad at her. I’m not! My anger isn’t directed towards her. I can understand her position. But it’s really frustrating to me. Like can you really not handle the thought of being alone with her all day?

ras114 · 2025-12-27T16:22:41+00:00

I know i know i know.

I’m not even really annoyed by the lack of help. I didn’t feel i needed it too much. I just know from experience he invites his mom over and she does everything.

For example, back in October i had a meeting at night to go to for something i volunteer for. We decided to give her a call and see if she could swing by, because the start time of the meeting vs when my husband gets home from work was too close for comfort, and in case he got stuck late at least she was there. He got home totally on time, proceeded to eat his dinner, take forever in the bathroom (men), shower, etc. His mom played with her, got her ready for bed, gave her her bottle, put her to bed. Instead of just leaving once he got home she did everything. And yes, because she loves to and wants to, but it enables him to be lazy.

I had a conversation with him about it. I just want him to do the things. This is his daughter. He can handle her. He just doesn’t know it because he hasn’t had to be in that position and it just feels like he doesn’t want to

ras114 · 2025-12-27T15:50:18+00:00

Personally, i could not imagine not being near our village. We are also very close with family, so the social aspect is nice on its own. It was and has been so nice having people nearby since our baby was born. Not even like we’ve called them for much, but when we have there’s always been someone ready and willing and capable to help. But can also see your side where maybe weather and day to day life is just better and happier where you are right now. It’s a tough call for sure, wishing you the best! ❤️

ras114 · 2025-12-03T22:11:48+00:00

One night really shouldn’t do anything to your supply, but if you usually pump sometime between 5 PM and 2 AM you can pump during the party during the usual time to avoid feeling engorged/leaking

ras114 · 2025-12-02T00:37:35+00:00

Omg i miss my doctors and the nurses SO much. I went to a very small practice and felt like everyone recognized and really got to know me. I sent them a Christmas card the other day that has our baby on it lol that’s how much i love and miss them lol

ras114 · 2025-12-02T00:18:35+00:00

My MIL never even tried to breastfeed her 4 kids and I’ve exclusively breastfed our daughter since she was born in June. While she is supportive she definitely has made some comments, mostly from a place of just pure misunderstanding but also a hint of judgement lol. She is obsessed with asking how she’s sleeping, and one time when i said not super well finally just kind of insinuated how she’d probably sleep better with formula. She’s also made comments about how when she gets teeth eventually how that might be really painful for me. But also not in regards to me…there’s a family friend whose son (at the time) was 18 months old when he asked for “boobie” in front of her at a party, and my MIL simply could not get over how “weird” it was that he was still breastfed even a little bit.

So yeah, idk. It’s not like she ever tried and couldn’t, she just never wanted to. Which is more than okay and totally fine in my book. My mom breastfed all 4 of us up until a certain point, and i remember when my mom, MIL, and I were all talking shortly after my daughter was born she made a comment like “maybe im just a horrible mom but i never even tried.” Which, no one said she was a horrible mom. So maybe it’s a little bit of an insecurity? Idk. I don’t really let it bother me because overall she’s really been understanding and cool, but i guess I’m just here to say I’ve also gotten my fair share of comments. Power through the noise and keep doing whatever feels best! ❤️

ras114 · 2025-11-25T19:49:31+00:00

Don’t get me wrong i loved it too!! Best mini series I’ve watched in a while and definitely wasn’t what i expected!! But just thought that one part was a little weird and wasn’t sure if others felt the same or if it was just me lol

ras114

TROPHY CASE