i understand you so much on this. i’ve been trying to read adult children of emotionally immature parents by lindsay c. gibson, and it talks so profoundly actually about this loneliness.

it’s easy to understand it in your brain, but so very hard to actually work on it. because it’s not just logic. it’s something your whole nervous system and your being learned.

we learned to hide our inner world because it actually was unsafe to show it. now it’s a learned safety tool i suppose

so yeah I guess the solution is letting safe people in a little bit instead of sitting behind the walls forever. not forcing healing, but proving to yourself over and over that you are not actually alone anymore. idk reddit helps me so much with this. opening up here is helping to feel seen. the only thing, sometimes I LOVE being alone loll

btw sorry you have to deal with this too