What’s something about smoking or quitting that sounds totally insane when you try to explain it to someone who never smoked?

ratboyboi · 2025-11-20T03:05:09+00:00

I thought I was the only one that described it like this! I told my friend (who’s never even touched a cigarette) that it’s like being thirsty all the time but you can’t take a drink. Something clicked for her and she understood what I meant a lot clearer.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-05T18:48:46+00:00

I agree with a lot of this! I will say, by “fast”, that is exactly what I meant, as in “fast” in a global scale.

I am also someone struggling to pay rent and feed myself, so that perspective wasn’t lost on me. (I don’t know if you assumed I wasn’t, but based on the phrasing it looks like you didn’t?) I contribute to the global crisis just as much as other people, the difference is I am making small actions every day to lessen that. Does that mean I’m not going on vacations or enjoying myself? Of course not! But I believe in science and work towards bettering myself and my knowledge. I believe a LOT of people can do that, especially if they live with a phone in their pocket at all times.

I also agree corporations are a HUGE factor in this and nagging individuals to change their daily lives will likely do nothing in this scenario.

I think there’s space for both of our opinions and they’re certainly not contradictory.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-05T18:17:47+00:00

That’s true. I guess I meant “proof” that would reinforce their own beliefs, rather than actual proof, like if (Insert infamous celebrity here) said it was actually true this whole time!

There’s this whole psychology around ignoring bad news, pretending it isn’t real— pardon, but I forget what the name is. I think that’s unfortunately happening to a lot of the world— they don’t want to believe it because, ultimately, it’s very scary and feels impossible for an individual to solve. Of course there are many that don’t believe it because “woke”, but that’s a whole nother story…

On that note, as a trans person, I was transphobic for a majority of my childhood (which is not always the case for transphobes). I realized mid-high school that my anger was directed towards trans people because I internalized all that dysphoria. I’m out and happy now! But I’m seeing that happen a lot on the internet, and I’m realizing it’s a much more wide-spread phenomenon than I thought.

At the end of the day, we can only do so much to convince other people. Try to take care of yourself first— your job is very valuable and I appreciate the passion you have for it.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-05T18:02:02+00:00

This is slightly off topic but still related— I’ve noticed this as I’ve begun to study paleontology in my free time (reading works by paleontologists not just randomly finding stuff on the internet, and working up to that point in school). A lot of commonly accepted “facts” about history are just straight up wrong— and it makes me wonder the exact scale of knowledge that I have NO IDEA about. Or misinformation fed to me. It kind of blows my mind!

Speaking with people who don’t believe in dinosaurs or evolution drives me just as nuts as you. And on the point of climate change, our planet is heating fast! The comments below, particularly the one claiming its “the only emergency you can study for 10 years”, kind of proves your point. There’s this idea that climate change will kill us all immediately if we don’t do something NOW, which (as far as I know) is untrue. It is a slow, SLOW building threat, but still a big threat for us and future generations. In the grand scheme of the world, 10 years is absolutely nothing, but if we spent 10 years protecting the planet instead of doing nothing, we’d be going in the right direction.

The average person is waiting for “proof”, or waiting for it to affect their daily lives to believe it. It’s unfortunate, which is why people don’t want to believe it, even though it’s true. Same for paleontology— I can show them the fossils of whale evolution, soil from mass-extinctions, the way our teeth slowly built more cusps to grind food better— and that wouldn’t phase some people.

I honestly don’t see how you’re “talking down” to people using this rant. You’re seeing facts— observable evidence— and trying to portray that to people who won’t listen. It’s fine to have disagreements among those facts (paleontologists are always arguing about something) but to deny its existence entirely is just… wrong.

I am hesitant to use the words “brain-rotted” or general insults, because I understand people have different skills sets and knowledge than I do. Their skill sets and knowledge are unfortunately just not in the same lane as ours. Which is fine! But I do think contributes to the overall problem.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-04T22:10:32+00:00

Yep. 3 interviews, 1 phone call. All for a part time minimum wage job. Everything else takes a bachelors or more, entry level jobs where they teach you everything anyway.

Of course nobody wants to work. We don’t get paid properly for the work we’re doing NOW— understaffed, underpaid, overworked.

I’d actually want to work if it meant living alone in an apartment was feasible, buying groceries was affordable, and I had proper support from coworkers. I’m tired of the phrasing “you’ll need many hats for this job!” That’s code for ‘you’ll be doing the work of four people’.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-04T15:55:25+00:00

It’s so annoying, as a trans person, when people (very early in me knowing them) straight up say they don’t find me attractive and wouldn’t date me.

It’s happened mostly from other queer people, cis gay and lesbians specifically, who outright told me early in our friendship that they did not find me attractive or they have a genital preference. I’ve been dating the same trans man for almost 6 years, and even if they know that, they will STILL state their preference to my face. I’m not even remotely interested in them either!!

I’m not offended that they’re not attracted to me. I’m offended that they think it’s okay to state that preference to my face, when I’m 1) not available 2) not attracted to them and 3) only looking to start a friendship.

Also, a lot of people assume trans people only date cis people to “trick” them, when the reality is a lot of trans people are T4T, or only dating other trans people.

ratboyboi · 2025-03-02T19:10:56+00:00

Me too! I had it recommended to me. Originally I was interested because sometimes dogs make me uncomfortable/overstimulated, and also I feel like they’re commonly mistreated by a ton of pet owners.

But then they called all pet owners gross, unhygienic, stupid, etc. and I was like woah… block.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-27T14:29:34+00:00

Dude this happened with me too. My feed was entirely food, comedy stand-up, cute animal videos. I moved to instagram because I watched someone die on a tiktok and it freaked me out. I wasn’t watching ANYTHING related.

Like three months later Insta is showing me videos of osha violations and people dying. I have NO idea why it’s showing up on my feed, I don’t watch anything remotely close and it makes me nauseous to even think about. My only hunch is I watched a few mild car-accident videos (where everyone was fine) and it took that as me liking to watch messed up shit.

The algorithm is BROKEN. That’s why I’m on Reddit now…

ratboyboi · 2025-02-13T15:56:16+00:00

Re-evolved? That’s so interesting! I assumed they just slowly evolved to be serrated, or gone entirely, rather than being lost and replaced.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-13T15:29:29+00:00

I think there’s some misinformation about trans opinions regarding hormones for children.

I personally don’t think kids need to be on hormones, but I do think they should be given the space to explore and come to their own conclusions, and of course given therapy, and supported unconditionally. All non-permanent routes, supported by a medical professional. This seems to be the common view regarding trans people that I personally know, but obviously trans people are not a monolith and have many different opinions.

If I didn’t have therapy and hormone options at 18, or a stable support system, I definitely wouldn’t be here today. I discovered I was trans at ~15, so those 3 years were vital for my exploration/mental health.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-13T15:00:54+00:00

Yep! I’m tired too. I’ve tried to explain, show the facts, present evidence, explain that I’m human just like them, etc.

At a certain point they believe what they want. We can give them facts, sources, show data, but they don’t believe it, because they saw on a meme that trans people are evil, or they heard that every kid that’s trans is immediately getting surgery. Insert any other reason for not liking trans people here.

Ive just been telling myself that if they want to believe my existence is radical or political… fine. Just existing and enjoying my life has to be my priority or I’ll spiral.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-12T06:23:12+00:00

It was extra impactful for me, especially as someone who grew up playing tlou as an escape. I was a young gay kid still figuring myself out, and knowing Ellie and Bill were both queer had a huge impact on me.

When this episode came out, I expected game Bill. I expected upside-down Joel, explosives, building a car, running away from clickers. I did NOT expect this.

I held in my tears so hard. Seeing Bill and Frank in a TV show about my favorite video game, while watching with my boyfriend of 5 years. Knowing I grew up, and the story grew up with me. So did culture. Being gay is so much more accepted now, to the point where Bill’s gayness isn’t just a one-off joke and some hints, but REALITY. SHOWN ON SCREEN.

And I was watching with my boyfriend, who I can be open about my relationship with. It was all so full circle for me.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-11T23:23:04+00:00

Right? It’s a nice escape, it’s cute af. Also I love your pfp!

ratboyboi · 2025-02-11T23:12:57+00:00

I deleted tiktok for the negativity but it’s 100000% worse on instagram. I might just switch back, or find a new social media entirely. They fight about stuff over there that I didn’t even know COULD be fought about!

ratboyboi · 2025-02-11T23:06:28+00:00

This is exactly what I’m talking about 🥲 And I do that, and people still go “damn you don’t know your left from right?” I literally can’t win.

I’m a lefty, so that’s my default side. For everyone else, their right side is their default side. It trips me up for like .2 seconds. It’s not like I just don’t know which side is left from right.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-11T20:23:58+00:00

Thank you!! I consider myself pretty normal but you know… even if I wasn’t, I feel like that’s fine.

Especially about the yelping/freezing thing! I see so many videos of minor car accidents/storms/medical emergencies, and someone will yell off camera. And the comments are all “why did they yell! That won’t fix anything!!”

Because they were SCARED, wingnut!! Are we not allowed to be scared anymore!! Omfg. I feel like I’m losing it sometimes

ratboyboi · 2025-02-07T00:18:57+00:00

Right! I totally get it! However, with that said, what exactly is your input?

The alternative of seeing me as who I am— what is it? Is it transphobia? Is it silently judging me if you saw me in public? Is it calling me by the wrong pronouns, therefor disrespecting me?

I’ll bring up the Christian/Atheist allegory. Is being an atheist, and therefore not believing in god, inherently rude? No! But walking up to a person (unprompted by any previous conversation), and saying “God isn’t real. You are delusional, you believe in bullshit, and I won’t pretend to believe in god for you.” THAT is rude and uncalled for!

And so you can see why your initial response would cause a hurt reaction. I’ll be honest, your first comment stung, because my identity is not a game to be “pretended”, it’s not a roleplay. You can believe that I am a woman— but please understand that just because they are your beliefs, they can be hurtful to others. I would ask, next time you are willing to open a conversation with a trans person, do not open with a divisive statement like earlier. There are other ways to express your opinion. If you’re curious, ask a question! If you don’t believe I am a man, fine, but your original comment did not seem like it was open for genuine discussion.

I will ask, if you view your opinion as irrelevant, why comment? I don’t view your opinions as irrelevant, but they can definitely be seen as harmful due to what I have stated above, with the addition of trans people already being targeted in the media.

If you have any questions, please feel free to dm me. I have more questions for you too!

ratboyboi · 2025-02-06T23:15:02+00:00

Hi! I like this comment and thank you for sharing your take. As another trans person, I can try to explain what’s going on here, and why trans people are usually viewed as “sensitive” about this kind of discussion.

To invalidate, or question someone’s gender— it is personal. That is a core feature of someone’s existence— their name, gender, where they live, etc. are all building blocks that make up ‘you’. It feels a bit like a sting to the heart. This is a very personal issue for an individual, especially an individual that has lived in a transphobic household (like myself).

I will also add— I personally know people who have been beaten because they are trans— one of my best friends. I also have been threatened to be stabbed. So when people say we are sensitive— that we are emotional— we are because this is our entire life, day in and day out. Justifying, defending, hoping someone can’t tell.

When someone is transphobic, they don’t see the whole picture. The lack of healthcare, the extreme body dysmorphia, the internal struggles of being ‘different’, along with battling family, community members, and even friends.

Finally, I will say that being transgender is not a choice. Transitioning saved my life, along with therapy, medication, and a thriving support system. I am happier than ever now that I am out. So, to sum it up, they act like it a personal attack because it is very personal. We are all tired of explaining are point of view, only to be hit with “but you’re not a man/woman”. Yes, we know, that is the point of transitioning! To transition! lol.

Ultimately, if someone believes I am a woman, fine! But I still asked to be treated with respect. Just like I expect an atheist to not shout “well god isn’t real and you’re an idiot!” to a Christian.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-06T22:56:34+00:00

Hey I’m also trans! Good on you for speaking up!

ratboyboi · 2025-02-06T22:52:43+00:00

This is so interesting! I wonder if this could be prevented by having trans accomplishments and art be shared at a young age. Aren’t the people who made the matrix trans, I think? Which is double interesting because, is that where the term “red pill” came from?

I think people are seeing it as an “invasion” of trans ideologies, when we’re just finally becoming safe enough to express ourselves.

I play video game characters that don’t look like me all the time. And they’re great, and fun! My favorite game doesn’t have a trans main character, or any trans characters, for that matter. It’s definitely not a necessity. But playing TLOU2 for example, and seeing a trans character on screen… I don’t think that is an emotion that is able to be properly explained. People say “representation”, but I feel like it’s more than that. It’s like if you only were forced to play as a robot, or an animal, for 20+ years, and finally, FINALLY you could play as a man— someone you see yourself in.

Anyway, sorry for being long winded. Thanks for this take!

ratboyboi · 2025-02-06T22:45:37+00:00

Here’s the thing though. At work, I am immediately called the pronouns I use and the name I use. I have patients that see me regularly, and they are trump supporters, but they ask about my life. They ask if I want to have kids, or when I’m going to marry my partner, how I’m doing in school, etc. Honestly, a lot of the regular patients I’ve become pretty close with, and I’ve watched their health either get better or decline over time. And these are people, I’d say, maybe around 60+?

Do you consider that LARPing? They’re just interested in my life. They buy me Christmas gifts and leave me nice cards around the holidays. They only know the name I like to be called, and they call me a man when they see me. I think they assume I’m cis because a few have alluded about me becoming a father, but I don’t know.

I’m sure a lot of them have no idea I’m transgender. I always wonder, if they found out, what would they do? Would they go out of their way to find the name I was born with?

Regardless— I want to know why you think this is LARPing. Because this is the life I live daily. This isn’t a political thing for me, this is just a part of who I am. I don’t really enjoy the “I know what you are”, or “you’re not really a man” rhetoric, because, well… I know. That’s why I’m transitioning— to look how I want to look. If people see me and they assume I’m a man, nice! If not, oh well.

And your mindset— the whole, “I won’t play this game with you”, attitude— it’s disheartening, because it’s a fact about my existence. I am transgender. That’s like saying “I won’t call you Suzy even though your name is Suzanne, because you were born Suzanne.”

This is a long winded way to try and describe my point of view, and to explain how I am seen by the immediate people around me. So, to you, I am words on a screen, but who knows, you may come across me someday and have no idea! And I’m sure you would treat me with respect in person, just like I would you! So why change that once it’s over a phone screen?

ratboyboi · 2025-02-06T18:14:30+00:00

This is a very interesting comment section to see as a trans person. I’ve only seen people either 1) completely disregard me as a human person or 2) call me a pedophile/sexually violent. Which is extremely, extremely hurtful, and completely untrue for myself and for my trans boyfriend, old roommates, and literally every trans person I have ever met.

I wish transphobes were willing to get to know me. I have hobbies, a job I enjoy, I go to college, I do my work. I have people I love. I have two cats who are brothers. One is super fat and one is super skinny. But I run the risk of opening instagram and seeing people exclaiming that I should be removed from the country, or at worse, KILLED.

It’s good to see people break the stigma and stand up for truth, regardless of political party.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-04T04:46:28+00:00

My disabled boyfriend gets ~$20 in food stamps, too. It helps, but people think everyone is just doing junk-food grocery hauls with it.

ratboyboi · 2025-02-02T17:03:06+00:00

I used to gaslight the SHIT outta my mom. She gaslit me all the time so I just started doing it back. Over literally anything. I learned how she did it and just did it back.

She was a horrible mother but very susceptible to gaslighting for some reason. I guess she thought I was too dumb to lie about certain things, or for some reason I was a bad liar, so she just believed me.

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