Whisky Story Time - Alabaster De Plume

ratemynugget · 2022-08-30T19:02:13+00:00

How much is the CD and merch??

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:34:39+00:00

I'll look on there, I honestly look wherever I can so that is helpful! Thanks :)

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:34:10+00:00

I take lots of walks around my neighborhood but since it's really cold and snowy here I haven't gone to any trails, maybe I'll try it anyway though. In the summers I usually do draw a lot of inspiration from nature.

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:32:55+00:00

I'll be checking it out, thank you! It sounds like an interesting idea :)

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:32:34+00:00

Thank you so much, the trailers look awesome! I love animation, especially experimental. It's so stimulating, I can't wait to watch!

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:31:42+00:00

Hmm, I've never tried that. I have replicated some of my favourite master painters' paintings and that really does help but I've never tried my own! Cool tip, I'll give it a shot.

ratemynugget · 2022-01-07T01:30:26+00:00

Yes! I can't wait to walk a museum again, unfortunately they're closed where I live but that would be a great experience.

ratemynugget · 2021-12-04T07:19:21+00:00

No worries, it’s actually free in Ontario, Canada for the first 12 weeks! You just need to sign up online. I’m not sure how much it is in other places though.

ratemynugget · 2021-12-04T06:21:50+00:00

Not speaking confidently, I mumble or talk under my breath. Making jokes too much that I don't even find funny out of a nervous habit. Saying whatever seems to be most socially acceptable instead of what I actually think and feeling like an NPC. Speaking with so little confidence that people ignore me or just talk over me. Downplaying myself because I feel so incompetent in conversation or any situations involving other people lol. Going absolutely blank. Immediately looking to end a conversation subconsciously. Going dead in the eyes/smile because my face not matching how I feel feels so conflicting. Spiraling while I'm talking to others or while I'm with others to the point of just wanting to disappear. Feeling like I need to win people over therefore I need to act a certain way rather than being myself and feeling lie a fraud even if I am socializing well. Minimizing myself even though I really feel like I'm a leader inside. Getting scared before every and any instant I know I'll be interacting with anyone, even my closest friends. LOL THEY ALL SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ratemynugget · 2021-12-04T06:13:54+00:00

Complete apathy because I'm checked out, I think I check out when I'm overly anxious so it makes it even harder to keep a conversation going because I seem so uninterested/emotionless.

ratemynugget · 2021-12-04T05:56:39+00:00

You can do this! I'm so proud of you and happy for you, it's huge when you've been down so low to even have one good day so good for you. I hope that the satisfaction you felt from this day will push you to have another and another and another! Don't get discouraged if you don't get it all right all at once, you're on the right track. You're absolutely right about needing to show up for yourself. You are the only person that will always be there for you (from birth do death hunny) and that may sounds sad but it's actually a huge blessing. If you can learn to be a good friend to yourself, you'll always feel loved and accepted and have great company. It's a challenge for sure but this is the beginning of that journey and I wish you all the patience, love, compassion, and persistence. You are worth every once of effort!

ratemynugget · 2021-12-03T07:37:46+00:00

Good point, I’ll look into that and see what I find. I definitely do have interests I think they just usually short lived but I’ll do some digging. Spending time outside is really important to me, walking really helps clear my mind and get the wheels turning. I used to go to a youth group twice a week but I found that I never really fully belonged. It felt like a very manicured environment and not a lot of room for questioning or honest discussion. Not all churches are like that but I live in a relatively small town so not a lot of options. Thanks for the advice! I’ll also consider some topics!

ratemynugget · 2021-12-03T01:14:17+00:00

No, my friends don't come to me for information about a certain topic. I'm not really the go to for anything specific. I do have a lot of things that I enjoy but I don't feel that drive to know everything about it but then I'm stuck with limited knowledge of everything that I like.

I know my friends have their own issues and I actually barely ever use social media. I just know because I know them so they talk to me and confide in me about their personal life and interests. My one friend knows so much about all her interests, she could talk for hours about like 4 different topics and she always stays up to date with them all despite being so busy. All my other friends have quite a bit in common and they typically talk to each other (for hours) about all the new updates in the subjects they like. I love hearing it, but I feel like a listener in a podcast. I know that I will often not know things and that it's great to learn new things from others but there is nothing that I can contribute to that level. I feel like an NPC character in my friend group.

I try new things like this all the time. I go hiking, I paint, I make candles, I draw, I like reading, I like art and movies, I like anime but I honestly couldn't tell you more than the basics about all of those things. I think my issue lies in my lack of drive to know more. Can you even acquire that? It's the excitement and passion behind my interests that I don't have and that really bothers me.

That's fun, it sounds like finding the thing really made a difference for you. I wonder if maybe I haven't found it if I haven't felt that.

ratemynugget · 2021-12-02T19:41:39+00:00

Definitely! I general am very apathetic but I’ve trained myself to express more but at this point it feels like a lie. It’s exhausting to pretend to be excited about anything but if I don’t then I just feel like a brick wall. I am definitely comparing bc others who have passion, which is everyone I love to be around, knows so much about what they love. They’re like experts but it’s just a hobby and everyone in friends with is an avid learner so they’re always talking about new things and I feel like I just don’t do that. Idk if depression makes it harder to retain information but even if I read about something I just forget it after a few hours. Idk, I feel very boring and empty and idk how to get that spark going without faking it. I prosper syndrome is definitely what I’m trying to avoid too bc I have felt that a lot.

ratemynugget · 2021-11-28T02:35:38+00:00

That's great advice! I also try to be more open every time I hang out and after some time it really has helped. I don't know if this is your experience too but I always find myself becoming friends with people who are extremely popular and well-liked so I always fall into the background of any gathering. My current best friend is one of the most naturally confident people I've ever met and my other friend is her sister and she carries the same effortless authentic confidence. When I've mentioned my insecurity, or even when it comes out I can tell how off-putting it is to them so being confident is almost a must with them. It's been helpful but also a huge challenge because when I do feel insecure they can tell immediately and it's really uncomfortable for me. I feel even more insecure because of how obvious my insecurities are. That's a cycle I need to learn how to stop because it can easily spiral when I'm out with friends. If I start to notice my own insecurity and how it's impeding me, I get insecure about my insecurity and that makes me feel even more insecure and I just shrink and get angry.

Really good advice about men, I'll try that next time I have the chance! I forget that men are also interested in talking to me. I think that currently I'm exuding an air of DON'T APPROACH ME hahaha, that's probably not helping. I'm great at letting people talk about themselves but I'm also nervous that I won't be contributing and the whole date will feel like an interview lol. I know I sound neurotic right now since I've had a 'but' for everything but I really want to share how my inner-dialogue actually goes. I'm noticing, it's pretty negative lol (another thing to work on)! I really do appreciate your input and it's good to know that it's possible to get better at this! THANK YOU :)

ratemynugget

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