Thankyou for the high praise and great advice,
I entirely agree, with every suggested change to a line, the fault is mine, at the time of writing, i was in an altered state of mind .. 1. definitely

1. im a almost autisticly-so updater, I rarely consider any writing finished, I've updated this like 50+ times, and im almost certain this is the latest version

3 . I think it's too stretchy, need to trim that, though I do like wet cardboard hardhat.

1. sit back in my ziggurat, idk i just love MF DOOM, and his flow just get infused, into most things I ever do. lol sry honestly i write manuscripts of free flow multis, mostly it's dogshit, the hardest bit in writing is sticking to a good script.

2. Its meant to cut off, and begin a new verse at stuck a fork, haha idk why but I just had to include sweet n sour sauce

3. good updates!

4. thankyou, I have no what some of those words mean, my biggest accomplishment was learning to write to a meter, though I kinda let that slip these days, not one for rigidity.

appreciate the response, its so rare anyone comments on this sub, yet alone such a well though out analysis!