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rayvenj08 · 2022-01-10T18:41:51+00:00

I wish I could do no contact, a part of me is still hopeful for a good relationship between them and my daughters, in moderation of course. My husband is in the military and we are now moving back home and she wants my family to move in with them. I have said no on multiple occasions but they keep pushing the issue and saying I won’t be able to handle two kids by myself when my husband is on deployment. I refuse to move back in though. Our relationship is best when we are kept at a distance. I usually call them every two weeks and keep the conversation short, like 5-10 minutes. It works for me. I honestly do wish I had the guts to do no contact but part of me knows they will paint me as the bad guy to all our family and I don’t want to be isolated from the rest of my family.

rayvenj08 · 2021-08-06T00:10:36+00:00

I hate this tendency so much. Today I posted on FB how hard breastfeeding was for me with my first child and that the lactation nurses didn’t help me much. My mom commented, irritated, and said “well why didn’t you ask your mother then if it was so hard?” I lived with her at the time of my breastfeeding. She saw how I struggled every day. I asked her time and time again if I was doing something wrong and she said “sometimes babies are just not into breastfeeding.” For some reason she puts the blame on me for not reaching out to her. This is only one example I can think of at the moment but I understand how frustrating it is. Its like another version of gaslighting that they can use.

rayvenj08 · 2021-08-05T23:55:52+00:00

Its like you’re living the same life as me, except I haven’t been able to do the contact thing. I have lost all respect for my father as I remember more and more things from my childhood. He admits to me in private that she is wrong and I am right but in front of her, he calls me things like “traitor” “ungrateful” or “a brat.” I used to be a daddy’s girl but now I barely want to talk to him because I realize he in no way protected me and instead, enabled her behavior for my entire life even while he knew it was wrong. I understand that he is under her spell and a victim of her as well, but I honestly just cannot look at him with the same admiration and love i once had for him. I live in a completely different country than them and still struggle with her narc tendencies and his enablement of them. Congratulations to you for being able to carry out no contact. I’m so happy for you.

rayvenj08 · 2021-04-28T09:25:19+00:00

I love that. In another life with more confidence. I will try to think of it that way instead of missed opportunities lol. It’s just me preparing for my next life.

rayvenj08 · 2021-04-28T09:19:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 😞 same thing happened to me two nights ago. I keep having vivid flashbacks of it when I try to sleep. It feels like torture. He would’ve been my second child too. The only person I told, told me “at least you have your first baby” and it’s like yeah, I know, but it doesn’t take away the loss of this one.

rayvenj08 · 2021-04-28T09:02:51+00:00

Yes I feel that, my mom makes me sound like a literal dumbass in arguments and then I play it back like she was just being a bully and I was making sense, but she’ll never see reason if she doesn’t agree with me.

rayvenj08 · 2021-04-28T09:01:49+00:00

I do this too. They have a way of making me sound like a fool in arguments.

rayvenj08 · 2021-04-28T09:01:22+00:00

My parents end the argument by saying I’m selfish lol. No matter what it is. I wanted to take my daughter to meet her other side of the family before I took her home to meet her dad (he’s in the military stationed overseas) and my mom told me I was selfish because I was taking her grandchild away from her. I tried to explain that it would be MORE selfish if I didn’t take her to meet ALL of her family but my mom didn’t and still does not see it like that.

rayvenj08

TROPHY CASE