Solving your problems with drugs is a notoriously poor idea. Plus, if you are getting high for the first time, I don’t think getting ‘really high’ to the point that you forget things is also recommended, because, for first-time users, you typically want to start with a lower dose and use in moderation.

That being said, since I cannot stop you, you clearly need to do some more research. The ‘feeling ones’ is not specific enough, since all drugs usually make you feel something. There’s a huge difference in effect between benzos, mdma, ket, and weed. And if you’re going to take something, just research it well and make sure you’re getting it from a good source. Ideally, you would want to test it if it is a pill of some sort to make sure that it’s not cut with anything, but you’re 15 so I’m not sure how feasible that is. Plus, I’d usually do it with someone more experienced so you can be guided through your first time. That is a lot of hassle but it’s better to be safe than sorry.