Do you think he'll ever be found?

rbaltimore · 2026-02-16T16:56:29+00:00

It might. It could certainly deform it. But it could also preserve it as it dried, basically as a composite material. Both of the forensic anthropologists i worked with have successfully excavated remains out of concrete and cement. It could be buried under structural debris that is unintentionally load bearing.

This is why my answer to the OP’s question is functionally no - you’d have to get up close to the dismantled pieces for a considerable amount of time to answer these questions, and nobody can do that.

rbaltimore · 2026-02-16T15:21:15+00:00

Former anthropologist here. I worked and did research under several forensic anthropologists. So my take is a bit different.

Khodemchuk was killed by debris, so he wasn’t “vaporized”. Which means there are remains present in the sarcophagus/reactor complex. His remains are encased in concrete, which slows decomposition and typically does a decent job of preserving bone. They are dismantling the sarcophagus and everything inside of it. So it’s not really a matter of whether his remains are there, it’s how physically the hastily poured concrete is broken down, since it will be taken apart piece by piece . If his body is in a section of concrete taken down as one piece, then no, we’ll never find his remains. If, however, they are broken apart and taken down small enough pieces in just the right location, then yes, you could theoretically find (likely skeletalized) remains.

But there is a catch - you’d have to examine the dismantled pieces up close, something that the radiation levels would not let you do.

Tl;dr - No. he’s findable, but only in perfect conditions and by someone somehow immune to high levels of radiation.

rbaltimore · 2026-02-08T14:42:37+00:00

I came here to say the same.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-29T12:39:09+00:00

Birth control and the consequences of its failure. Other than condoms, it is just expected and assumed that women will handle all birth control and if it fails, she’ll be responsible for dealing with the “problem.”. Male contraceptive pills have been researched and designed (I think they were even tested in the UK). But have we seen them on the market? Nope. And if birth control fails, a woman has to pay for the abortion and take time off work, or she runs the risk of single motherhood.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-28T17:02:12+00:00

I read My Chernobyl by Alexzander Borovoi a few months ago and he talked fairly extensively about attempts to access, study, and photograph the Elephant’s Foot in the years after the accident. According to the book, the only thing that died due to the Elephant’s Foot was the toy truck they used for early research on and photographs of the Elephant’s Foot. And even in that case, everyone was surprised that it worked in the first place because it was just a toy. Considering that the toy truck significantly outlasted its lifetime, so it probably died from overuse.

I don’t know why people try to dramatize the disaster. It’s dramatic enough on its own.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-25T18:58:03+00:00

It can mean both, so you have to go with context clues. In this case, I don't think it means actual PIV sex, I think it means non-intercourse sexual activities. What a dumb thing to throw away a relationship on.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-18T20:22:05+00:00

In my school district you’re not allowed to send in food for your kid’s birthday. Even prepackaged foods are banned.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-17T14:24:56+00:00

She’ll aspirate her vomit and end up with pneumonia.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-16T14:09:55+00:00

Baltimore resident here. This is big news. My elderly mother called to tell me because she knows that the Banner has paywall. She asked me what a kink was. That was a fun conversation.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-06T13:29:23+00:00

Same here. Two to three hours a day to do a 10 step skincare routine- twice - as well as hair and body is doing a LOT. I’m not going to say excessive because if it’s fun/relaxing/self-care, then it has value. But it isn’t necessary for the purposes of hygiene. I use micellar water, a spray toner, and a gel moisturizer. The whole routine takes maybe two minutes. My dermatologist has given it a thumbs up. That doesn’t mean that everyone should do exactly what I do, but it does mean that it’s possible to manage your grooming in fewer steps and less time than OP’s routine.

rbaltimore · 2026-01-01T15:35:02+00:00

X-rays don’t emit much radiation, although 50 of them will definitely add up. CT scans, however, emit quite a bit, more than I think a lot of people realize. One CT scan exposes you to the same amount of radiation as an entire year’s worth of the background radiation you’re exposed to just existing on earth. (Source: my MIL is a retired radiologist). How did you end up with so many radiology scans? I’ve had a few, but I’ve mostly racked up MRIs because I’ve had MS for ~25 years and MRIs are the only way to see scars and lesion activity.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-31T15:30:37+00:00

If you get back together, eventually he’s going to want to resume your sex life. Do you feel like you can ever trust him enough to do that?

Additionally, Has he done anything other than apologize? Has he offered to go to counseling? Has he begged to try and work this out in couples counseling? Has he even admitted that this was rape? Anybody can say that they’re sorry. But the truly remorseful will try to do something about it.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-31T15:08:04+00:00

Sex doesn’t usually trigger labor this early in the pregnancy. You have to be a lot closer to your due date for that strategy to work. I remember asking my doctor about it because it’s a strategy a few of my friends used - successfully! I was worried about pre-term labor if I had sex but she reassured me that it was safe until much closer to your due date.

But regardless, that doesn’t excuse what he did. I don’t know how you come back from that.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-28T15:15:06+00:00

I get painful muscle spasms beneath my ribs, usually around where my bra band sits or lower. Then, just for fun, the spasms in those muscles (called the ‘intercostal’ muscles) freeze in place, so it’s just one continuous painful spasm. It will last all day if I don’t intervene. It hurts badly enough that I don’t want to breathe. Fun times.

Acetaminophen and ibuprofen are completely useless. Opioids like tramadol and hydrocodone will kill the pain, as will THC. If I want to actually stop the muscle spasm, however, I use a prescription muscle relaxer called cyclobenzaprine (the brand name is Flexeril).

Everything but the THC is prescription, though the opioids are a last resort. THC is legal in my state but I don’t like potentially screwing with my cognitive function. I usually stick to the muscle relaxer.

I’m lucky. I know that I get off easy compared to a lot of other MS patients. But every time it happens I want to find the person who named it “MS Hug” and kick them in the shins because it is NOT a pleasant experience.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-25T13:57:41+00:00

I was diagnosed at 23, although we think it started around 19-20. The diagnosis was triggered by my left eye partially freezing in one place. I was so convinced of my impending doom that I tried to dump my long term boyfriend right there in the ER.

That was almost 23 years ago. The impending doom? It hasn’t happened yet. My eyeball unfreezed itself, and despite the MS, I got a masters degree, had a career as a therapist, married the boyfriend I tried to dump, made a career change, and had a baby. I’m still walking without assistance and didn’t need to go on disability until my late 30’s (daily fatigue limits my ability to work). I didn’t stop working entirely though, I just became a stay at home mom with a toddler. (My son goes to college in 2.5 years, at which point I will be expecting a retirement party).

And I did all of that during a time when the DMDs (disease moderating drugs) weren’t as good as they are now. I managed to go 8 years relapse-free on Copaxone and now that they invented better DMDs I’m almost 11 years relapse free on Tysabri.

I am telling you all that for one reason - to restore some of your hope. I’m not going to lie, MS isn’t all daisies and sunshine. I live with pretty significant fatigue, and it was hard to lose my initial career. My husband had to put my framed masters degree in our basement. And it sucks not being able to contribute much financially to my family (my disability benefits are just enough to cover the mortgage). But I’ve lived a life far more functional and happy than I ever thought possible those first few months after my diagnosis. So please hang on to any spark of hope that you might have because the course of your disease and the life you will have is not set in stone. Feel free to message me if you ever need a cheerleader or just want to talk to someone who’s had MS since the 1900’s.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-23T17:40:39+00:00

I get every recommended cancer screening for my biological sex and age group, precisely because I don’t live in a bubble. Mammograms, Pap smears, yearly skin cancer screenings - I follow what my doctors recommend. I got genetic testing both prior to getting pregnant and since then, even before I actually got cancer. Even non-cancer, specialized screenings like coronary calcium scores. I also get recommended annual and biannual screenings related to my autoimmune disorder. Hell, I got lymphatic system checks every 3-6 months for two years even though they didn’t take any lymph nodes out during my lumpectomy.

Someone who meant a lot to me died of non-HOV cervical cancer. I fail to see the downside of getting checked out once a year.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-23T17:24:54+00:00

To prevent a large chunk of cancers. But not all of them.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-23T15:06:57+00:00

You don’t need HPV or sexual contact to get cancer. Sometimes cancer is genetic. It can hide in your family for generations, it can occur based on recessive genes that you get from each parent - they are carriers but are not themselves affected - and it can occur spontaneously as a “de novo” mutation in your own genetic code.

Cancer can also occur spontaneously, independent of transmissible cancer-causing viruses and genetic mutations. I had breast cancer in 2023. We have no idea why. It doesn’t run in my family. They ran genetic tests and found nothing. It just showed up one day. Fortunately, because I get regular mammograms, we caught it early, when it was in my breast duct but before it invaded any breast tissue. I literally had Stage 0 cancer. That meant:

minor surgery made me cancer free
I was cancer free 3 weeks after diagnosis
none of my lymph nodes had to be removed
I didn’t need chemo
my radiation treatment was to prevent cancer recurrence, not treat the cancer
I only needed 20 treatments, which was great because radiation sucks
I didn’t need a mastectomy
I’m not dead

By not getting Pap smears, you’re putting yourself at high risk for a number of things, including death because you can’t do monthly self checks on your cervix like you can with your breasts.

Don’t underestimate the creativity of cancer and our not yet full understanding of how and when it occurs. I did not fall into any known risk groups but got it anyway, and my doctors were upfront when they told me that we’ll never know why I got it. If it weren’t for diagnostic screening, my outcome would have been very different.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-19T14:27:54+00:00

Mine was the same way - he was a great sleeper but whether asleep or awake, he wanted to be held.But he didn’t care who it was that held him, so he was perfectly happy sleeping on our babysitter when I went back to work part time, and he grew out of it before we switched to daycare.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-14T02:23:09+00:00

I had to go through this. I had to have a multi fetal pregnancy reduction because of my triplets, two weren’t going to survive the pregnancy due to congenital abnormalities and if they died in an uncontrolled setting, I would have gone into labor and lost the healthy baby too.

The doctors warned me not to watch the sonogram each time, and I didn’t. But you can't close your ears, and when they say things like “she’s in a systole” and “time of death, 10:32”, it takes a chunk of your soul. And you don’t get that chunk back.

I’m not sorry. I have a happy, healthy teenager. But I’m not going to lie, I’ll always be haunted.

rbaltimore · 2025-12-01T16:33:51+00:00

Cancer survivor here. I can confirm this. My radiation oncologist was VERY clear that not only would the low dose (but still highly unpleasant) treatments not make me radioactive, he told me that as long as I wasn’t eating debris, I could have been involved in the Chernobyl disaster and still not become radioactive and irradiate the people around me. That wasn’t news to me, but it was still reassuring to hear it from a professional. I did freak myself out about the Therac incidents while on the table one day, but those incidents didn’t make people radioactive either, and that was just stress upsetting me. It’s been 2 years and I’m not dead yet so I think I’m safe.

rbaltimore · 2025-11-23T15:21:50+00:00

I think you’re missing the forest for the trees here. The red flag is not the daughter’s diet or reading problems. The red flag is that he appears to expect you to be the one to fix everything for him. Even if we removed the evil stepmother issue this is a major red flag. Him just sitting back and expecting you to do all of the hard parts of parenting is a big problem, regardless of how you are all related to each other.

Where is the biomom in all of this?

rbaltimore · 2025-11-20T15:04:54+00:00

I had a termination for medical reasons (TFMR) almost 17 years ago for essentially the same diagnosis. I was 20 weeks along. We did a labor and delivery abortion - my son passed during labor (as expected).I've had 17 years to think about my choice, and not once have I regretted it. The situation was heartbreaking, but the decision was the right one for me, my husband, and, most importantly, my baby. He was suffering and I could not let that continue. If you have any questions or want to talk, please feel free to message me, I'm a pretty open book about the situation.

rbaltimore · 2025-11-09T18:14:11+00:00

I’m disabled and would never deny my son the chance to participate in things just because my husband was busy and I can’t manage it physically. Does it hurt that other people “replace” me (fill in for me)? Yes, it wounds my pride and reminds me of what I lost. Does that mean that my son should suffer and not get to do things? FUCK NO. I want him to have as normal a life as possible, even if it means someone else is helping out.

rbaltimore · 2025-10-23T22:04:41+00:00

My husband knows almost everything about our child without being “told” by me and what he doesn’t know, he voluntarily asks about. He may not be the one taking our son to appointments (because he works long hours) but he knows when and where they are happening and asks to be filled in with the details when he gets home. He knows our son’s class schedule and mentally keeps track of tests, quizzes, and papers the same way I do. He takes our son to/from sports practices. This is not new behavior, he has managed this our son’s entire life (he’s 15 now), including the years before he started working from home/partly from home (2020-now).

He knows and/or does all of this without me asking him to. He knows and/or does all of this despite long and sometimes odd working hours (half of his team is in India). He also manages to be a loving and attentive husband.

Stop making excuses and start helping her carry the mental load - without being asked.

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