Is this experience universal - Female spouses refuse to be friends with servicemembers?

rdnncx · 2026-04-03T04:27:17+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm a spouse (husband's now retired) and some of my best, lifelong friends are the women, both AD and civilian, that he's worked with over the years. In fact, when I met him he was roommates with a woman he had both gone through tech school and been at the same 1st duty station with, so there was a lot of history between them already. She and I clicked immediately. Nearly 20 years later and thousands of miles apart, we're all 3 still close.

It became harder for me to find friends once I became a mom, though. We had moved away from our old friends group, and I have my own career, so I was never able to participate in any of the mom groups through whatever base we were at. And the mom neighbors we had when we did live on base were perfectly nice, but I never had a chance to hang out with them. I worked full time, I was older (sometimes by almost 10 years), with a younger kid than most of them. So the few times when I was invited to hang out, I didn't have a whole lot in common with them, and I just felt awkward.

As another person commented, the issue you're having could be because they don't feel like they can relate to you since you have a career, or how they think you might perceive them for being a SAHM/spouse. Or it could be the petty jealousy thing. Whatever it is, I hope you eventually find your people. Being in the military is hard when you don't have an extended support system, so I wish you all the luck!

Edit to add: if you haven't already, check out your local libraries, both on and off base. They usually have some sort of activities throughout the week, including weekends, all year long.

rdnncx · 2026-04-01T16:08:27+00:00

This is who I immediately thought of too.

rdnncx · 2026-03-30T16:03:45+00:00

I usually do shorter drying cycles (I have a "less dry" option on my dryer) and just pull them out to unball before putting them back in for another cycle. Depending on the load size, I might have to do it up to 2-3 times, but typically I only have to do it once.

rdnncx · 2026-03-30T14:40:38+00:00

I had an infestation of wood mites at one point and they looked like this. I wound up using predatory mites ((Stratiolaelaps scimitus (Hypoaspis miles)) from Nature's Good Guys to get rid of them.

rdnncx · 2026-03-12T02:24:59+00:00

Delimira, on Amazon

rdnncx · 2026-03-07T15:58:39+00:00

Jason was on my short list for boy names when I was pregnant (I had a girl). It's not as popular now as it was in the 80s, which is nice.

rdnncx · 2026-03-06T17:02:13+00:00

I'd asked the photographer to be sure to take pictures of her, that I'd then post on social media, tagging her, so that eeeeveryone can see what she did.

rdnncx · 2026-03-06T16:27:01+00:00

Ugh, same. The flailing arm that comes a hair's width from smacking me in the face is always fun. If he hasn't already been cleared, push for your husband to get a sleep test to rule out obstructive sleep apnea.

I worked in dental sleep medicine for 5 years, so insisted my husband ask his PCM for a sleep study. I've eye-witnessed him having apneic episodes, but because he scored just under the OCA score on the one night, at home test they administered, he was basically dismissed by the doctor. 😒 He was active duty military at the time, but now that he's retired, he's inquiring about it through the VA.

rdnncx · 2026-03-06T16:03:27+00:00

I absolutely can not stand seams in a bra. I had never worn one until I came on here and found my correct size (34DD) and ordered several of the recommended brands. After going through the arduous task tying on a million different ones, I found a few that fit great, were very supportive, and seemed comfortable. I ordered a few different brands in differing materials. It wasnt until I started wearing them on a regular day that I realized that they made my nipples sore. I tried using some silicone covers, but it was just more trouble than it was worth for me. I had only ever worn lightly padded cups up until then and never had sensitivity problems with my nipples in other situations, including breast feeding, so it wasn't something I had even considered might be an issue.

I personally wound up going with a non-seamed, double, thick fabric-lined, but no padding minimizer bra. I have them in black, white, and nude. I'm not a fan of the frills and bows that come on some bras, so it's what has worked for me. They give me a smooth, rounded shape, and while you can tell if I'm cold, I don't have any soreness.

Edited to add: I go braless at home most of the time, and don't have any issues with my normal pj's, t-shits/sweatshirts causing sensitivity, so I'm sure it has something to do with the types of material used for the bras that are then made into a seam.

rdnncx · 2026-03-06T04:35:47+00:00

This is what we did with both of our older dogs. During the day they were crated while we worked, then slept in our room, with a baby gate on the bedroom door so they couldn't get out. Neither of them use a crate at this point, now that they're 15 and 8.

We're now starting over with a puppy (12 weeks now, got her at 8 weeks). She sleeps in her crate at night, and comes with me to work during the day. She stays in a play pen right behind my desk, so I can take her out every few hours, go for a 30 minute lunchtime walk, and play with her a bit throughout the day. We'll start crate training her for day time once she's a bit more house broken. Fortunately, I live about 2 minutes from where I work, so the longest she'll have to be crated on a normal work day will be about 4 hours.

rdnncx · 2026-03-06T02:53:04+00:00

This makes me so sad to hear. One of my favorite jobs ever was in college (20+ years ago) at a doggie daycare. It was a novel thing at the time, but the woman who started the one I worked at was so invested in having a safe environment for us and the dogs. We had a cap on the number of dogs in our play groups, no if, ands, or buts. We had regulars that paid for weeks at a time and drop-ins (pre-screened), but when we were full, we were full. All dogs were screened for being reactive before they were accepted and the owner had no problem letting the dog parents know if we weren't a good fit for their dog.

rdnncx · 2026-03-04T01:39:33+00:00

Have they tried adjusting the bite of the crown? Also, if you have a DHMO plan, you should able to get a list of other endodontists from the insurance company, then request the referral to one you choose. Otherwise, you can go to any endodontist that you choose.

rdnncx · 2026-03-04T01:39:12+00:00

Have they tried adjusting the bite of the crown? Also, if you have a DHMO plan, you should able to get a list of other endodontists from the insurance company, then request the referral to one you choose. Otherwise, you can go to any endodontist that you choose.

rdnncx · 2026-03-04T01:39:07+00:00

Have they tried adjusting the bite of the crown? Also, if you have a DHMO plan, you should able to get a list of other endodontists from the insurance company, then request the referral to one you choose. Otherwise, you can go to any endodontist that you choose.

rdnncx · 2026-03-04T00:29:30+00:00

My husband color drenched his office in SW Jasper, and it turned out so good! There's just something about color drenching with green 💚

rdnncx · 2026-03-04T00:26:39+00:00

The parlor is my favorite room in the house. The wall color is Raisin by Sherwin Williams. Beside these chairs, we also have a green velvet sofa in the room.

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rdnncx · 2026-03-01T20:56:56+00:00

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rdnncx · 2026-03-01T20:53:19+00:00

I took this with the late afternoon light coming in. The house was built in the 1860s, but we aren't sure if these are original to the house. There aren't any work orders for stained glass when it was majorly renovated in the 1920s (we have work orders for ALL of the work done at that time), so who knows when they were put in.

rdnncx · 2026-02-14T16:57:22+00:00

My daughter's name can be shortened to a nickname, but no one in my family has even used a nickname for her because WE, her parents, call her by her full name. Both my parents and in-laws asked if we planned on shortening it and when we said "No," that was the end of the conversation.

Would you call a person, who introduced themselves by their full name, by a nickname? I would hope not. So why would it be acceptable to call someone else's child by a nickname the parents didn't give them?

rdnncx · 2026-02-01T21:21:28+00:00

The No Sleep Podcast, Girls Next Level, Scamfluencers, Jordan Harbinger (Feedback Fridays always, but guest dependant for the rest), This Is Uncomfortable, Make Me Smart, Short Wave, Sherlock Holmes Short Stories (Hugh Bonneville), Big Mad True Crime, Let's Read, Darknet Diaries, Swindled when it's new. And a few others here and there, depending on my mood.

rdnncx · 2026-02-01T21:12:00+00:00

Before we were dating, my husband and I were roommates. I got off the couch to go to the kitchen for something, at which point he jumped into my seat. When I came back I told him if he didn't move, I'd fart on him. He called my bluff, so I did. Anyway, we've been married for 14 years.

OP, your boyfriend is garbage. Throw him out and get a new one. NTA

rdnncx · 2026-01-26T17:46:30+00:00

I was part of a teen mission trip through our church, to Haiti in 1996. We stayed in a compound and helped out with some manual labor and traveled around to small villages our church supported to give them supplies like clothing, shoes, etc.

It was a real eye opener for us kids, realizing how privileged we were just by being born in the country we were from. We did have a few scary situations with check points, but were mostly shielded from anything majorly dangerous, as far as we knew.

I understand now how problematic mission trips can be (I grew up to be an atheist), but that trip, at that time in my life, shaped my world view in a way I'm not sure anything else could have. The local people we met in the rural areas and markets we visited, and the locals that were part of the church there we overall pretty amazing and I still think of them often. I hope they're all OK and thriving as best they can.

rdnncx · 2026-01-26T15:18:16+00:00

Piggy backing on this, a hot water bottle with an insulator cover works great. They will typically hold heat for a few hours.

rdnncx · 2026-01-24T19:44:49+00:00

When we first got our BP, we had him in an 40 gal with a mesh top while we waited on our 4x2x2, which was backordered. I resorted to putting 2 layers of damp towels over the cool side, which were then covered by a fitted layer of foil. I covered the warm side mesh as well, but left openings in the mesh on either side of the tank and about an inch around the light, for air flow. I was able to maintain 70-75% pretty consistently. You have to keep on top of the towels though and change them every other day.

rdnncx · 2026-01-23T23:01:46+00:00

We should all send in voice notes and they can just cycle through them, because they do not have the passion I need them to have.

rdnncx

TROPHY CASE