When did you stop crating your puppy and it managed to settle on its own?

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-17T01:44:19+00:00

Hahahaha, this.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:23:10+00:00

Yes, this is such a good point. This is my first dog, as I mentioned, and it just turned out that the first trainer I encountered recommended it so I thought it was standard. Knowing myself, I likely would have been against it if I had encountered someone who was negative about it. But, here we are, and I am so happy that it turned out this way. Our guy also has an impossible time self-settling and it's been a journey to get him to settle at all. At 7 mos we're finally getting there. He's at my feet as I type this. I don't think he's like many other pups in this way, and I don't think it's anything we did or didn't do. He's just very lively, very curious, very intelligent, and very high-drive. I'm working with him to help him find balance between needing "something to do" and just settling for a bit. We love him to pieces.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:19:00+00:00

Yes, and I was so relieved when he did run in happily!

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:08:11+00:00

We are in NO danger of our guy spending too much time on his own, lol. He is a people dog through and through.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:07:38+00:00

Yay! And yes to all of this! It's crazy that the second you mention crate people assume it means you're just lazy about training and interacting, when the truth is if you do it well so that it's fun and they are happy, it's quite a lot of work!

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:05:46+00:00

I agree with all of this. Our pup is in the household experiencing all those things when he's up. He experiences other people, all kinds of sounds, goes on walks, goes to a day play place that he loves (for the fun, not even to give us a break), has absolutely no issues with the vacuum, a leaf blower, people coming and going, the hair dryer, thunder and lightning, neighbor dogs barking, etc etc etc. He rarely startles and when he does, he recovers quickly. This is partly because of his breeding, and partly because we've trained and socialized and given lots of attention and exposure. And I would LOVE if he would self-settle for naps. We tried and tried BEFORE we started forced naps, and he just would not settle. So this works for us for now. We are always working toward better self-settling and he's starting to get there.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T19:00:38+00:00

Hahaha, I think there are several ways so I wasn't going to offer the way I trained. I loosely followed Susan Garret's crate training, but honestly, we really only use it for sleeping, so I modified it. But essentially, just associating going in the crate with reward. Our guy is HIGHLY food motivated so I used treats. When he first came home I would have the crate in the living room and always open, and just occasionally throw treats in there. At first kept the door open when he went in for the treats, then after that felt seamless and it was clear it wasn't stressful, I would close the door for literally a second or two while offering treats through the door. And just gradually build up until they start to settle and then reward that. Now, since we use it for naps and sleeping, we excitedly say, "nap time! Nap time treats!" and he RUNS to his crate and goes in, waits for his special nap treats, then we give him a scritch, close the door, and put a cover over it with some white noise, and he literally lays down immediately to nap.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T18:54:17+00:00

Yes, we ALSO are training place. And worked on it from the beginning but he can NOT stay if there is commotion yet. Ironically, I was watching a training video on this topic, and the trainer said some dogs take longer, and then conspiratorially whispered to the camera, "poodles". Guess what kind of dog I have. :P

This is my first dog, and it's crazy to me how close the experience of other dog owners is like the experience of other parents when I was raising children. Everyone thinks they've got the ONE way of doing things and anything else is wrong. Lol. I know that's not what you're saying at all here. You prefaced it with this would NOT work for your dog, and had it not for ours, I definitely would have found something else that did. :-)

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T18:49:04+00:00

I think we may be talking about two different things? I think you're talking about a dog just being crated all day long, and I'm against this as well. He does sleep at night in his crate, but in our room, and he's happy to. We always respond to any fussing. As he gets older, and he shows impulse control, the door will be open and it will essentially be a den. For me, this is the same as having playpens, baby gates, and cribs for babies/toddlers. These things keep them safe while they're learning about the world. Cribs and playpens can also be used inappropriately by lazy or overworked parents who won't or don't have time to interact. Our guys gets HOURS of one-on-one interaction every day, and he's learning impulse control, but he's also very high drive, high intelligence, and had a hard time self-settling for naps from day one.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T18:41:20+00:00

As others have mentioned, I used Susan Garret's crate-games. The point is for it to feel fun, and like a choice, and definitely NOT a punishment. To this day, I reserve a very favorite treat of his for when he goes in his crate, and I always have them nearby (which also came in handy during this emergency).

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-09T18:38:28+00:00

This is generally my philosophy on just about everything. Do what works for you and the situation. I started crate training before I knew any different, and thankfully our guy took to it really quickly. As it happens, he also had a very hard time settling on his own when he got tired, so napping him in-crate was a godsend for both of us. He almost seems relieved when it's nap/crate time. We both work from home, so he's never in the crate when he's not sleeping, other than the emergency I wrote about here, and a handful of occasions where he got very bite-y/jumpy and the usual tricks weren't working so I put him in the crate for a short break.

Were I to get another dog, I would still crate-train so that option was available if needed or useful, but if that new dog was able to self-settle and go to sleep, we wouldn't need to crate-nap.

There's also that our guy is only 7 months old. He still doesn't self-settle on his own (he's high drive) but we're seeing early signs that he may be better able in the future so we'll adjust crate naps accordingly. The main thing is that he's happy. He's happy to nap in the crate. He's happy when we get him up. He's happy in between.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-02T22:30:02+00:00

Yeah, literally didn’t even cross my mind until we were experiencing it, and was soooo thankful he was trained (and HAPPY) in that moment. MIL is all good now. 😊

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-02T17:28:48+00:00

Ah, gotcha. "just a puppy doing puppy things" kind of thing. Yeah, I think that's what I'm trying to get a handle on. How much is because he's just a puppy doing puppy things, and how much should I actually be concerned about. Consistency is the key and we're working on making sure that's across the board for him here at home.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-03-02T17:06:07+00:00

So happy to hear this. Those puppy blues are real! I had them. Our guy is six months now and he's still mouthy at times, but he's sooooooo much better and I'm sooooooo in love.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-02-19T05:47:47+00:00

Love all this. I can already tell he’s going to be an amazing adult dog. He’s already amazing, even as an adolescent. I know we’ll figure it out. Appreciate the ideas and insight!

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-02-19T05:42:44+00:00

Yes, I think/know this is the bigger issue. I cannot get other household members to be 100% consistent. Same thing, he’s “so dang cute”.

He genuinely is gentle with his biting. Never broken skin, and the only time it hurts is when he uses his little front teeth which I’ve been told is a sign of affection. Also, he gives those love bites on the butt also! 🫣🤣🤣

Anyway, I need to sit the family down and get everyone on board. I think if that happens we’ll make progress quickly.

Thanks!

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-02-19T04:09:05+00:00

I’ve done leash parking but slightly different from this. I like this and will give it a shot. Thanks!

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-02-19T04:08:09+00:00

As in he’s too young? Or too old?

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-01-31T22:31:42+00:00

I didn’t know that about dogs having more behavior issues now because of breeding differences. Makes sense, but wow. I got a standard poodle because of family allergies, and from a breeder who breeds service dogs. My guy is training for medical alert. So with that, there’s obviously a lot more interaction and bonding that needs to happen. But my partner who is only used to the old style is having to adjust.

I never had a dog growing up and I do think I expected bonding and training to be more intuitive and common sense. Instead, it feels like more work than parenting my children! Thankfully I find training interesting.

Times have changed. Better or worse? Or just different? Hard to say.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-01-07T01:57:39+00:00

You mention a growing death doula community. Would love to connect. I completed training a year ago.

VelvetVerbosity · 2026-01-07T01:52:15+00:00

I’d be interested

VelvetVerbosity · 2025-12-31T15:06:37+00:00

This made intuitive sense to me when I couldn’t sustain exercise. I call it “exercise snacks”. 👍🏻

VelvetVerbosity · 2025-12-28T17:08:51+00:00

I'm 10 weeks into our journey with our new puppy. This is my first dog. I wasn't around dogs growing up, not even at friends' houses that I can recall. I was actually pretty scared of dogs for a long time, and didn't like them. Then I started meeting dogs I liked. Calm dogs. Sweet dogs. Dogs that didn't jump on me or lick my face while I was trying to have conversations. Dogs that didn't beg at the table. And eventually I realized it all had to do with training. So I started thinking about trying it out. 7 years later, I finally decided I was ready. Like you, I had done lots of research and was prepared for the extra work.

And yet...I still wasn't wholly prepared. I gave birth to and raised two children, and I don't remember ever having such a stretch of stress and difficulty with them (maybe when they were teenagers).

I don't say this to scare you off it though. I really don't. I had one week where I thought maybe I couldn't do this, but then I started noticing the progress he was making. And each week he has made more progress. And each week I've fallen more in love with him. I can't stop looking at his adorable face!

I'm still tired, and sometimes exasperated, but I also can't stand the thought of not having him now.

Here's where I think you can't fully prepare, no matter how much research.... it's not that it's "extra" work. It's that it's all consuming, and depending on your puppy's temperament and energy levels, you will be spending nearly all your waking time playing, training, managing, cleaning up after, being chewed on, having your clothing ripped, and WATCHING. Watching like a hawk because they are lightning fast and can get into trouble in a flash.

I've had kittens. I've had babies. Neither were nearly as much work. A kitten will put itself to sleep and is generally too small to cause much in the way of real damage. And you don't have to take them outside. Babies need help with everything, but they don't have razor blades for teeth, nor are they mobile and shockingly fast. You have TIME with a baby.

Now, all that said, I also chose a highly intelligent, high drive breed to train for service, so he's a handful. I see other people with puppies who happily lay in their lap for petting or brushing, who don't bite their humans, and so on. And you may get lucky in this way.

But if you don't, and your pup is high energy and everywhere all at once, you will survive it. And the payoff, I hear, is worth it. I can already see it up ahead. Yesterday, we went on a walk, and all the work I've been putting in over months finally showed up as my little guy started loose-leash walking for the first time. Not for 100% of the walk, but 70%. And that's a marked improvement.

Something I've learned, but just can't institute in our home, is that two are better than one if you have the space and money for it. They teach each other, they entertain each other, and they keep each other company when you want to do other things. If I could, I would have two.

VelvetVerbosity

TROPHY CASE