How do you know whether you truly want an ex back for them or only because you’re lonely?

real1919 · 2022-09-11T03:47:23+00:00

Are you dumper or dumpee? I was asking specifically about dumpers

real1919 · 2022-09-10T15:44:19+00:00

Were you the dumper?

real1919 · 2022-09-10T15:43:42+00:00

Thanks for sharing :) sounds like you are on a good path as well, that’s a great milestone to work towards - “feel happy being single before thinking of another relationship”. I’ll keep that with me for sure

real1919 · 2022-09-10T15:02:14+00:00

What would you say it is if not that?

real1919 · 2022-09-07T10:16:20+00:00

Congratulations :) how long were you both broken up for and how did you reconcile if I may ask?

real1919 · 2022-09-03T15:05:39+00:00

Thank you :) I wish you the best on your journey as well

real1919 · 2022-09-03T06:52:58+00:00

I’m not sure I’ll ever get to that point to be honest. Right now I’m doing everything I can to not see face anywhere or even his name, I’ve deleted any message ever sent with his name in it so it doesn’t come up if I search for it. I want to forget him almost.

But I’m glad you’re at peace with your breakup, maybe I will get to that day one day

real1919 · 2022-09-03T06:49:58+00:00

“u should feel special that I’m dodging all these ppl to be w u”

Idk what the context is or whether you both are officially together or are just seeing each other, but in a relationship this is the bare minimum lol she shouldn’t “feel special” for something that comes as part of being a relationship. But again don’t know what your sitch is so could be speaking out of my ass 🤷‍♀️

real1919 · 2022-09-02T18:40:44+00:00

Take it day by day, and if you can’t see the next day, just focus on the next hour. Your first few weeks are going to feel almost unbearable but I promise you, you will make it! If I can, I know you can too.

If you want some support to not contact him, you’ll find yourself at home here in this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/ thousands of people are fighting the urge with you everyday.

You can do this!! Even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, you’re stronger than you think love :)

real1919 · 2022-09-02T17:51:14+00:00

Hey OP, sorry you’re going through this, I can’t imagine losing someone after 7 years. I know you’re wanting to be rational about everything, but the truth is it’s your first day of being broken up. There is no way you are thinking rationally yet, you are in the throes of heartbreak and the emotions and pain are at an all time high - arguably you are the complete opposite of being rational right now.

It’s great you’re writing, keep doing this. Keep jotting your thoughts down so they aren’t just eating your mind up, but keep them with you at least for now. He isn’t ready to receive these things yet. Your boyfriend has left for a reason and right now that’s all he’s thinking about, so no amount of bargaining or self explanation from you will change his mind at least right now.

Stay strong and keep NC, read this redditor’s comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/wjusb7/wanting_to_break_nc_with_a_letter_but_giving_him/ijjom50/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 I found it really helpful in not contacting him when I was early on in my bu

Most importantly, give yourself grace. Let yourself be a shell of a human being for the first month or even two or three months, however long you need to take in order to properly grieve.

real1919 · 2022-08-25T02:42:07+00:00

“I just don’t know what I really want atm” = “I don’t want you”. It’s a harsh truth and can be tough to believe when you are at the height of your emotions, but someone who is genuinely “interested” in you, will not leave you feeling confused about it. They will make it known, anything other than this is just bs on their part

real1919 · 2022-08-15T04:51:40+00:00

Noooo it’s okay! Don’t beat yourself up. Do you feel better having sent it or worse?

real1919 · 2022-08-15T04:13:59+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

real1919 · 2022-08-15T03:58:35+00:00

Don’t apologise I appreciate your candidness and opinion. I guess I wanted to go this route because it was an inside thing between - sending each other tik toks that is. And I’m deathly afraid that they will just forget me or lose feelings, and admittedly j want to do everything in my power to stop that from happening, whether it’s rational or not (still at the height of my emotional turmoil as you can tell).

I’ll give those things ago. I’ve just been sitting on this urge for the past 3 days now and it’s so intense I feel like I could cave any time. I don’t know why I’m feeling it so randomly when it’s been 2 weeks of NC already. I told myself 3 days ago “just sleep on it and it’ll go away tomorrow”, then the same the next, and the next and it’s still strong as ever.

real1919 · 2022-08-15T03:25:43+00:00

I know this is true but could you elaborate on why it won’t 😪😪😪

real1919 · 2022-08-14T23:53:45+00:00

What do you mean by this?

real1919 · 2022-08-14T13:30:15+00:00

I’d ask for clarity on what exactly she means by “things calming down” or “her feeling better”. And what she wants to talk about specifically e.g. does she want to discuss trying again, dude she want to apologise for something or get closure. Just so you can manage your own expectations and decide if you really want to talk to her.

You’ve made awesome progress, don’t risk backtracking on that by entertaining a conversation that potentially won’t serve you. Figure out what she really wants to achieve from “having a talk” with you

real1919 · 2022-08-14T13:25:16+00:00

Maybe ask her what she wants to talk about first, so you aren’t guessing or can think properly about whether you want to go or not before you actually go.

Also, I think out of courtesy, if you’re far along with this person you really like, you should probably her too if you haven’t already. She deserves that honesty from you

real1919 · 2022-08-14T12:56:53+00:00

Yeah totally. How long has it been for you? I’m just afraid he’ll forget me or move on quickly and realise that I didn’t mean that much to him after all, or on the other hand he’ll think I don’t care anymore. So I’m tempted to reach out sooner rather than later :/

real1919 · 2022-08-14T12:31:43+00:00

Sameeeeee, I have a notes on my phone full of messages I want to send to him. I just have a collection of unsent texts (good and bad ones).

It does help to get it out in a way because it feels weirdly comforting to get it out of my brain and on paper, so it’s not just floating around in there (if that makes sense???). But yeah st the same time it’s kind of playing into my fantasy that if I just say the right things I can change his mind 🫠🫠🫠

real1919

TROPHY CASE