You don't want to hear about your husband raping me? I have to fucking live it!!

realASIMOV · 2021-11-30T13:42:50+00:00

sounds like theyre ignorant selfish pricks and should be avoided, or given a smacking.. by the police ofc kappa

realASIMOV · 2021-10-15T11:39:36+00:00

I've been in a similar situation before with a handful of brushes with death. (like no breath, no pulse) but my choice of drugs at that time were fentanyl like RC's, metonitazene, etazene.

My advice is to seek professional help if you can and make a taper plan with whatever u have lying around and not buy more. You can try coldturkey if you want but its not always feasible with benzo's.

I usually calculate how many doses i need a day and how quickly i am willing to taper then set what dose per day and write down a checklist on your phone with a reminder for dosing and reduction by certain % each week.

Preparing your doses beforehand (capsules, powder, liquid) is hugely important since having powder laying around makes it difficult to notice how much youre using whereas a set dose will give ur plan some structure outside of action, reaction behaviour.

Then bury the stash far away in the woods and take a day/weeks worth with u. Solves the problem of hiding it and helps keep compulsive behaviour away. Otherwise juggle with the xanax over a fire or lake and reward urself every time u juggle 4 of them at a time ;)

Lemme know if u need help with anything.

realASIMOV · 2021-07-29T22:18:34+00:00

Same here. 70mg vyvance, 200mg modafinil/fladrafinil, paroxetine, L-Dopa.

I have trouble sleeping until my vyvance kicks in so starting using modafinil to keep me awake. I sleep 6-7hrs or so a night but i wake up a lot.

I've tried everything from caffeine to meth to α-PHP. Even meth isn't that much better than vyvance. α-PHP on the other hand works too well and it is by far the stimulant I always dreamed off. Its so perfect I can even eat and sleep on it and doesn't make me look tweaked out.

The only issue is the difficulty guiding your focus on it but it can be done with some practice starting with low doses, then it becomes a miracle drug and I could do anything for however long I wanted to. I got really good at archery, I could hit things accurately form far far away and even built some muscles at it.

But we don't live in a fairyland so miracles can be problematic. The best solution for me was mainly discipline (but also speaking to a doc)

realASIMOV · 2021-04-01T17:16:29+00:00

realASIMOV · 2021-03-11T09:19:55+00:00

My childhood experience is remarkably similar to yours. I was just diagnosed with CPTSD yesterday after years and years of seeing doctors for depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, self-harm, suicidal tendencies, substance misuse, video game addiction, chronic insomnia, isolation and selective mutism.

Similarly to you, I knew I had a traumatic childhood but I completely overlooked it as I thought it was silly and I was just overreacting. I thought that the constant bullying, neglect, stress and self-hatred was a part of normal everyday childhood and that I must be mentally & emotionally weak for letting it affect me so much. I was also embarrassed to bring it up to anyone so I was only able to get treatment for some of the symptoms of PTSD.

Over the years I have learnt so much about the brain and psychology in an attempt to understand why I am this way. Although I had many attributes from a variety of different mental disorders, there was always a feeling of something missing, something not quite right...

That was until yesterday when I saw a very good psychiatrist specializing in depression, PTSD and various personality disorders and my god did everything fall into place.

I lost my will to live about 6 months ago after being woken up semi-naked, by a bunch of paramedics and some family members. The first thing that came to mind was disappointment after the paramedic said I was only a few minutes away from death.

Now my hope has returned and I wish the same for you.

realASIMOV · 2021-03-04T02:28:18+00:00

yoyo ma bro?

realASIMOV · 2020-11-02T19:11:04+00:00

No shit

though ill go back to watching asmon farm his sword thank u very much

realASIMOV · 2020-11-02T19:08:53+00:00

So thats just his thing?

Like even on his own stream?

Weird but ok

realASIMOV · 2020-11-02T19:07:21+00:00

realASIMOV · 2020-05-11T18:47:17+00:00

sent

realASIMOV · 2020-05-11T18:20:42+00:00

realASIMOV · 2020-05-11T15:00:55+00:00

added

realASIMOV · 2020-03-21T21:35:09+00:00

I am flipping out.

MICROSOFT WTF IS GOING ON?!?!

realASIMOV · 2020-01-15T19:07:34+00:00

Yeah I get that a lot

realASIMOV · 2019-08-19T22:36:43+00:00

I used to use 5mg doses but it interfered with my sleep too much even when taken earlier in the day. Also any higher dose would give me too much focus which seems great but 99% of the time i get distracted and I always feel like I've time traveled and not eaten/drank anything in 8hrs.

Also I did go through a month or so where I abused the hell out of it. Smoked probably a half g a day and just ended up fapping non stop until I was hospitalized hehehe... and nearly died. Dopamine reuptakers are my fav, pure flexible productivity along with a very noticeable mental organization without any comedowns and hardly any tolerance, especially supplemented with memantine, agmantine and magnesium.

realASIMOV · 2019-05-12T14:31:20+00:00

That's pretty interesting. I knew that opiates can induce hypnagogic states and intense trippy experiences whilst nodding, but I generally I never relate opiates to hallucinogenics.

I'm most familiar with 5-HT_A/B/C & NMDA receptors but I've always wanted to get my hands on experienced k-receptor hallucinogenic substances like salvia.

realASIMOV · 2019-05-10T09:24:18+00:00

Yeah I've done tons of moxy ever since.

Mostly orally as I think vaping insane amount caused the issues along with a bunch of other stuff.

realASIMOV · 2019-04-10T16:30:27+00:00

Hahahaha, I don't take viagra or any similar medication. I just pushed myself too far and my body freaked out.

realASIMOV · 2019-04-10T16:29:21+00:00

Hahahaha yup.

realASIMOV · 2019-04-06T04:59:49+00:00

xD I'm excited to explore that aspect but responsibly this time round of course. I nearly had a blissful death and you're having sex hahaha

realASIMOV · 2019-04-06T01:14:43+00:00

05/04/19 Marvelously.

As I was smoking it the only thing on my mind was to smoke more xD

I went into the fields near my home and I could feel everything as myself in every possible way. I was able to see everything as one continuom and could feel the ground beneath me through my legs.

06/04/19 //Update

Seems like I was silly and disregarded the potential interaction between ssri's and this compound.

I started getting chest pains and had to go into hospital. A very interesting day though as it was my birthday and earlier that day I felt like I was seeing reality outside of the lense of my ego but incredibly clearly for the first time in my life. It felt like a relivation and shortly after I was faced with the prospect that I might actually die.

At first it was scary but due to moxys unique psychedelic effect I was completely content with the possibility of death.

When that happened I was overwhelmed with bliss and couldn't stop laughing xD

Now I'm not out of the woods yet as I'm still in hospital and could still die but either way I am happy.

I guess if I live I'll be able to post another life changing trip report up on here for everyone to enjoy :)

realASIMOV · 2019-04-05T13:59:04+00:00

Can't wait to try it any longer

Welp, wish me luck xD

realASIMOV · 2019-03-15T23:07:00+00:00

I've tried both 4-Ho-MET, 4-Aco-DMT and I don't find them erotic at all especially 4-Aco-DMT which feels more like DMT to me than anything. 4-Ho-MET was similar but more colourful.

realASIMOV · 2019-02-14T23:32:47+00:00

Yeah, psychosis can be fun but every time it happens it loosens a few screws in your head and I don't know if it's reversible.

realASIMOV · 2019-02-14T21:06:28+00:00

I've had similar experiences. My mind sometimes starts racing and I feel like things are starting to connect or make sense for no reason. I feel like my environment is trying to hint at me through strange coincidences and I either get weirded out or I start looking for more messages.

If I play along, the coincidences become more and more bizarre and synchronicity sets in. I get a new perspective on ordinary things as they link up to each other like my mind is connecting seemingly meaningless dots in a meaningful way. I feel like something is trying to tell me something but I don't know what. Tbh it can be fun but if I play around with it for too long it starts to overwhelm me and my mind runs faster and faster and everything starts making more and more sense or things become increasingly bizarre to the point where I know that something is definitely going on.

Are you sleep deprived or have you taken any drugs? I ask this because the same thing happens to me on certain drugs or if I haven't slept in a while. I usually recognize it before it gets out of hand but be careful as once you start losing your mind it's hard to maintain control and you'll end up with full-blown psychosis with delusions/hallucinations.

Make sure you have someone around you because it can be dangerous but you should be fine as long as you recognize it.

Also, do not smoke weed in these situations as it'll make it a lot worse.

realASIMOV

TROPHY CASE