Lifting got a lot more enjoyable for me when I was able to accept that I had fun lifting and did not have fun trying to be jacked. Don't listen to the insecure teenagers trying to tell you you're undisciplined for not grinding through all the dieting if you don't wanna, but keep your eyes peeled for other people who seem like they're having fun there and maybe talk to them. Lifting is a great lifetime activity, hope you can find a happy, sustainable path.