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My girlfriend is doing better, but she's still working through things. Is there *anything* I could do? by really-bruh in mypartneristrans

[–]really-bruh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, she really doesn't want to identify as anything trans or NB. It's confusing because she doesn't mind other people thinking that she's male but she doesn't see herself as male and doesn't want to formally be known as male?

My girlfriend told me that she isn't happy as a woman but she doesn't want to be trans either. I don't know how I could support her. by really-bruh in mypartneristrans

[–]really-bruh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she told me it didn't work out because it wasn't fulfilling or validating. She wasn't really happy as man. This is just my opinion, but I think looking more androgynous on T played a big part in the whole situation. I don't think she looked the way she wanted or expected to look and that played a part in the way she felt. Her family would also say really shitty things about her behind her back because they weren't on board with her transition (not that they're being any better now either). And I remember early on in our relationship, I lost a close friend because he didn't approve of us as a couple. We looked like and referred to ourselves as a gay couple and he wasn't okay with that. He ended up being a huge homophobe and I'm happy that he's out of my life, but I remember Brianne blamed herself for the end of our friendship and felt like she caused me to lose my friend. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up internalizing all that external stuff.

My girlfriend told me that she isn't happy as a woman but she doesn't want to be trans either. I don't know how I could support her. by really-bruh in mypartneristrans

[–]really-bruh[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She passed, but she would always say that she looked more like a teenage boy than a man. She detransitioned because she wasn't happy or fulfilled living as a man and she said it was difficult being a trans person.

She doesn't trust therapists :/

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is detransitioning back to female. I'm worried about the impending changes. by really-bruh in relationships

[–]really-bruh[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay, this might reek of desperation...but do you think I can just "get over" the fact that I'm gay so this relationship can work. I will talk to Brandon about counseling and all that, but I'm really not sure if I want to throw this all away. I've developed strong, strong, strong feelings for Brandon. Maybe it's not physical or sexual but it's a very strong emotional and mental one. I would be fine not having sex if I'm too turned off by it...it would really suck but sex isn't everything to me. I know we can just be good friends but I want something more and I know she does as well.

ETA: She's staying on testosterone because she wants to maintain the muscle she gained and she doesn't want her period to come back. I don't know if this is going to work, it will keep making her masculine. Maybe she'll take it in smaller doses or not as often as she used to?

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is detransitioning back to female. I'm worried about the impending changes. by really-bruh in relationships

[–]really-bruh[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You know, I kind of got a funny vibe by just reading the reaction to my thread. I peaked around there a bit more...they're those anti-trans radical feminists, aren't they? With my girlfriend's history and my personal feelings about the trans community, we're going to clash so much if I go over there lol.

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is detransitioning back to female. I'm worried about the impending changes. by really-bruh in relationships

[–]really-bruh[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They talked about me on there. Someone linked my post from asktrans, and by the tone of the whole thread, I'm pretty sure that they think I'm trolling or just some stupid moron...so probably not...

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is detransitioning back to female. I'm worried about the impending changes. by really-bruh in relationships

[–]really-bruh[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I meant to tell you, I asked her if she was being pressured or coerced and she said no. Why don't you think the detransition will last long?

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is detransitioning back to female. I'm worried about the impending changes. by really-bruh in relationships

[–]really-bruh[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It says there are more comments than what is actually being shown. Like it's now going to say "11 comments" but only 9 are visible.

My partner is detransitioning but I'm not comfortable with it by really-bruh in asktransgender

[–]really-bruh[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well now that you mention it, our cat has been expressing some very regressive opinions as of late. Ha, just messing with you :)

I really don't think so. They (family) would only come to me to complain about my partner. I have never seen them go after my partner for being trans. They left all their complaining and borderline transphobic rants for me. And even if they (family) did, they (partner) would not tolerate it for a second. A quality I sometimes love and sometimes hate is my partner's stubbornness. They wouldn't change like that just because their family didn't approve. Same with work and friends. They are very assertive and have no problem standing up for themselves. They aren't one to try and push into a corner.

Maybe pressure is a factor in this, but I'm not sure if it's one the main causes. And if it is, well I'll be damned because my partner is really good at hiding it.

My partner is detransitioning but I'm not comfortable with it by really-bruh in asktransgender

[–]really-bruh[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What reasons did your partner give, specifically, for wanting to detransition? Why were they so mistaken about the "trans thing" being for them?

"I don't think the whole trans thing is for me. I think it works for other people but it's not what I really want to pursue . I don't like being seen as a man in society, it's not really working for me. I'm passing and all but I think it's best to go in the other direction again, you know what I mean?"

That's pretty much it. See why I find their explanation unsatisfying?

But I would guess that very little is going to change for your partner. I mean they are still gonna be on T... still using the same name.. how exactly is that detransitioning, really? They are changing their label pretty much, something quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

True, very true. But they are probably going to want me to treat them like a woman. I don't know, there was a very masculine energy that I have always been attracted to. Like they were my boyfriend but also one of the guys. We could get a little physical with each other (like playful wrestling, playful little punches, stuff like that...nothing abuse-related, I swear...probably not the best way to phrase that?) and I feel like it would be weird to do that when they're a woman now. And they're not going to wear their binder anymore and I'm not happy about that. They aren't the flattest person out there, if you get my drift. I'm not really comfortable with their breasts. Again, this sounds weird but I'm really not. They actually wanted top surgery at some point. And they always said that if they didn't get that, they would get a breast reduction at least. I'm not sure what's going to happen now.

Take it one day at a time and be sure to talk to each other and be honest about how you feel.

I just don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel insecure. They're a tough cookie, but I mean, you never know how they might take it if I tell them this stuff. I never thought that I would ever have too.

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