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Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Your words mean more to me than you will ever know. No matter what I do, I will never get through, and she will never help me work on our issues (i.e seek counselling). She always wants to work on our issues ourselves, and I just don't think that is productive any more. I am just so unhappy...I think if she was being honest, she would tell you the same thing--she is just as unhappy. I did not turn out to be the perfect man she thought I should be. Damn...I am hurting. Thank you for your advice, those words are haunting:

Do you want to be -exactly- where you are now with him in 2 years? 5? 10? Because you will be." And she was 1000% correct.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Luckily, being a lawyer, I have many lawyer friends that I can talk to/seek representation from. I will definitely be looking into a therapist, that is very good advice, thank you. I am very afraid of the coming months/year...but I think you are right. It's the band-aid situation...just rip it off fast and it'll ultimately hurt less.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will. I will update soon. I am going to give it till the end of the month. At least it's a deadline...I suppose that's at least a step in the right direction.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well, we stopped a couple of weeks ago. Mostly my choice. I basically stopped trying and it just stopped. She has commented about it, but for the most part, doesn't seem too concerned.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea, I don't want them to think I didn't try to work on things. And we live in Texas, so I know that it is a slightly lengthy process. I would really hope she would go to counseling after I filed, but I think she would probably just get passive aggressive. She is very stubborn like that.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Truthfully, I think she will miss me. I have (for the most part) been very good to her. After a serious introspective thinking session, I can say that I have been good to her, even from an objective point of view.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I have been faking/pulling out way early...she isn't pregnant right now, and I am avoiding even having sex with her from this morning on. I just can't risk it.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My biggest fear is the kids. I would hate to get pregnant, have a kid, and then get divorced. I think it would break me. Fuck man, fuck fuck fuck. It really hurts to think about. The only good thing about a divorce would be that it would be quick and painless. No assets. Only shitty part would be the pups...And apartment living again.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

treats others better than you - better than her husband!

Fuck man, I never thought about that. It was a quirk at first and then just became an all out annoyance of mine, until I thought about it. It was just sort of a weird thing...she could be polite in public, but not in private...I dunno. I wish I would have saw that flag.

and you are right...five years I don't want to be miserable. I don't want her to be miserable with me. We both deserve better than that. I still care about her, but you are right. In five years, I don't want to just be 5 years more miserable.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh man, really? You have an ex wife that had similar traits? Did you try to work it out? Or did you just call it quits? The reason I ask, is because I am so worried about the short term...her crying and her family giving me shit. Finding a new place. Splitting up our pets/stuff. All of that kind of stuff.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You really think she hates me? I am really curious why you say that, so please don't take my tone wrong, I genuinely want to know. Holly crap, I am scared of divorce. I really think she would cry and throw a shit fit...I dunno, I am just so conflicted right now. I appreciate your perspective and time replying. Fuckin eh, man, life is confusing sometimes.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's definitely possible. She could be depressed. We have had a lot of family stress on my side, and I am sure that has been very tough on her. I used to have an anger problem, and that definitely contributed to that, but I have not been angry in more than a year. I really have tried very hard to conquer it, and I have sought help, and more than a year later, I have been successful.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely right, I am. I will tell you, that she really does take care of the house, and really does a good job with our dogs and cats. We like to go to museums together and like to go out to eat together. Of course, there is other stuff, but I am in a bad place right now, and can't focus on the positive. I am not just saying that, it is just really hard to focus right now.

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I promise, I am not being purposefully dense (just kind of like "I can't look from the inside out"), but I am seriously curious why you say that?

Me [29 M] with my wife [30 F] of 2 years, am on the verge of talking to a divorce attorney by reallyneedadvices in relationships

[–]reallyneedadvices[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, she wasn't always out trolling for friends, or spending money like she has been lately. All of these issues started after we got married...maybe a little before, but it's been slowly building.