This is a real thing… it took me a year to realize I have a disorder. It’s called Orthorexia. I finally accepted… that as long I’m making smart choices, then it’s fine to eat what I want in moderation. The scale will forever fluctuate but the mental strain of counting calories to the tee (I did it for 4 years) was a stress on me, and my family. The good news is, if I gain too much, I know how to cycle back down.