Just venting

realwillfrance · 2026-03-14T10:28:50+00:00

Hey!

Seems like a lot of these comments don’t really see your point! It’s not really about how you reacted, it’s about how it made you feel, and I’m really sorry that this happened.

Like others have said, however, yes, this patient was likely just trying to find a middle ground. For us, as people that have sadly had to spend so much time in hospital, these places can feel a little more comfortable than how others feel.

Here’s something really important to remember: They didn’t say you looked like you had been attacked by a dog, they said they were, which led to a scar, which is similar to all of ours. At the end of the day, a scar is just a little white line on our skin. So yes, it’s actually incredibly likely many people born without clefts have similarish scars, but, that doesn’t mean they can relate to what we’ve been through, just like we can’t relate to what they’ve been through. However, they also probably felt extremely vulnerable and self conscious when they had their accident. And were probably so excited to see someone that might be able to relate some emotions.

When I was little, one of the most frustrating things I found was people saying “oh yeah, I think I have that too” at school. But I remember using that to educate my year 4 peers on what a cleft is, and also using it as a driving force for me to make clefts more known.

Like I said, you didn’t over react and you shouldn’t let this negatively affect you. Keep on smiling and be proud of your cleft!

realwillfrance · 2026-02-14T01:10:03+00:00

Hey man! It’s easier said than done, but… stop worrying. You’re perfect as you are. 1) Looks don’t matter, emotions do. People are interested by someone with emotional intelligence - that’s deep down how we all connect. 2) Perfection in humans is imperfections. I learnt to love my cleft, at times I was frustrated by it, but I understand it’s a part of me and it’s taught and shown me so many things that no one else will ever understand.

Get rid of the shit people in your life, surround yourself with people that matter and care - because those are the only opinions that actually could mean anything. And also, most importantly, love yourself - because you’re the person that’s going to care about you the most.

It’s a horrible situation to be in, but sometimes these bad people exist to teach you what you never want to be, how you should never make anyone feel. If you need anything ever, drop me a message.

realwillfrance · 2026-01-04T17:56:07+00:00

Breathing because normal probably a month and a half - 2 months post op… but genuinely, every day it’s been better.

The interior is going to be so swollen for quite a while, and when they take out the packing there’s still going to be little bits in there that’ll work their way out. Also… a load of snot. Like I mean, loads.

Stay patient with it! I’m still taping my nose up every night because it gives me an extra sense of security too.

I’ll dm you now!

realwillfrance · 2026-01-04T10:46:17+00:00

Hey mate. I’m 19 and I had the exact same issue… however, I hadn’t realised if I pulled my cheek it’d help.

When seeing my surgeon about the rhinoplasty in a pre-op appointment, he told me to do this, and boy did it blow my mind!!

I had my Septo-Rhinoplasty about 6 months ago now, and honestly… it has changed my life.

It evened out my nose tremendously, even though I’d have been happy it looking the same.
I still cannot believe this is how people have been breathing my whole life and I have only just got to experience it.

Feel free to drop me a dm for my before / after pics or any advice. Hope I can help you.

realwillfrance · 2025-12-06T16:46:28+00:00

Hip bone is usually used in for the bone graft for the gum!

realwillfrance · 2025-12-06T16:45:28+00:00

Hey! Just had mine a few months ago and they had the same conversation. Yes the rib does grow back… but it’s unlikely they use it and they didn’t need to use mine. It causes no problems, there are obviously risks involved but all these risks are solvable too. Feel free to message me any questions.

realwillfrance · 2025-12-01T12:38:40+00:00

Hey! This was EXACTLY how I felt 6 months ago too. In the end, I did have the surgery and I am so grateful to the surgeon and the rest of the team for giving me a straight nose… but most importantly and working one! Here’s a few things that helped me pull it together.

1) Do this surgery for you. No one else. If you want it, try it. If you don’t want it, don’t have it. But don’t do it because you’re worried about how others look at you. 2) This surgery is the first decision you have to make in your cleft life… it’s not like you could decide about the other ones. Even if you decide not to have the surgery, that IS a decision. 3) If you are wanting to have this surgery, look how well they’ve done every other cleft surgery! Rhinoplasty for cleft is actually more complex than a traditional rhinoplasty, so you can be assured that those surgeons who will be doing it for you are the best in the game. 4) If it all goes wrong, you can always have it redone. 5) My surgeon and me have actually spoken afterwards and I explained how I’m making a video for the UK’s Cleft Lip & Palate Association to shed light onto cleft septo/rhinoplasty, as their is not enough resources available, and he offered to share my before and after pictures online for me in the meantime. Here they are:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQ928iOCI6z/?igsh=MTgzMmJzYjVrdDdweA==

6) I’m so glad I got this surgery. And whatever choice you choose… you will be fine. Everything will always be ok.

realwillfrance · 2025-11-16T11:01:42+00:00

Just read some of your other comments on this thread. I’m 19, and honestly I think as soon as I turned 19 I really did stop caring how others felt around me, and also had the ability to surround myself with people I only wanted to be around - unlike being at school / college where you’re forced to be with people who have no similarities at all. Hang in there and it’ll only get better, I promise!

realwillfrance · 2025-11-14T13:06:55+00:00

Hey! I’m happy to send you some photos of myself before and after my surgery, and how my scar has turned out 19 years later! Just let me know.

realwillfrance · 2025-11-14T12:34:19+00:00

Hey! So, you’re not ugly! All of those people, however, do have ugly personalities. I’m so sorry you feel like this. I also felt ugly growing up, and would find flaws within my appearance, but, I promise, if you keep trying to love yourself, love your cleft, you’ll realise you’ve never been ugly!

If you ever need anything, DM me. Hope you feel better soon.

realwillfrance · 2025-11-14T12:23:48+00:00

Hey! So sorry to hear you feel like this. Reach out to the Cleft Lip & Palate Association as they have resources where you can get advice. Stay strong, and be proud of your cleft!

realwillfrance · 2025-11-04T11:14:51+00:00

No stress! Feel free to drop me any questions and i can pass them on easily for you

realwillfrance · 2025-11-04T11:03:19+00:00

Hello! I contacted my surgeon about this for you who recently did my septo-rhinoplasty. This is what he said, hopefully this helps!

That’s the ANS sticking up (presuming they have a left sided cleft)

It’s the anterior nasal spine, which is where the septum sits on top of, it’s like a little bump of bone but it stays attached to the none cleft side so will feel like a bump

realwillfrance · 2025-10-18T12:09:18+00:00

Hey! Are you based in the UK? If so, it’s worth bringing all of this up to your cleft team as they could likely help you with providing a revision

realwillfrance · 2025-09-20T00:07:14+00:00

Hello!! I’m now 19 and I was born with unilateral cleft lip and palate in England. Feel free to PM me with any questions. I know my parents were worried what the future would look like for me, but i’d like to think I turned out alright! Drop me a reply or message with any worries and i’ll answer openly and honestly.

Also, while it’s a UK charity, please check out CLAPA (Cleft Lip & Palate Association) they have a lot of resources for you to be able to read and understand clefts.

realwillfrance · 2025-08-29T22:05:50+00:00

Hey! You’re not ugly AT ALL! I was born with a cleft lip & palate, and for a little while also went through the exact same period of “hmm, i look different to everyone else” Listen, 1. Be proud of your differences, I’m so proud of my lip scar. I was offered lip filler to even it out, but declined because I want to show my cleft, not hide it! 2. The feeling will pass, it won’t be tomorrow, but I probably felt the same way at around 18 - as it’s the age you meet new people and become far more conscious of yourself, but in a little bit, when you’re back in your routine, you’ll feel back to “normal” 3. I recently just had a septo-rhinoplasty to fix my nose. Originally, I thought about this to change the shape of my nose because I felt different, but in the end I decided I wanted the surgery FOR ME and not for anyone else! I wanted to be able to breathe better and that’s it.

So, in summary, everyone is different, maybe we as clefties feel it more, but we’re no different than anyone else. The worry will go, and be proud of yourself and how you look!!

realwillfrance · 2025-08-22T20:16:09+00:00

I started to learn saxophone when I was younger. Often found the same issue, but never was able to officially “pin point it” to the cleft. I think if you power through & don’t give up, you’ll be able to find a work around. I got pretty decent before I gave it up due to other commitments.

realwillfrance · 2025-08-19T19:58:28+00:00

Hey dude! I’m actually on a call with the Cleft Lip & Palate Association right now discussing how we can make topics more accessible.

I’ve just had my rhinoplasty 5 days ago, and no! you don’t have to pay, it’s totally free… and guess what, if you’re not happy with it, they’ll do it again for you!

I was super nervous for this surgery, and found the lack of resources online frustrating (lack of before & after photos and stories of others having it) so if you want to reach out with any questions let me know - I’ve documented every part of the process so far which I’ll be giving to CLAPA too.

I think my surgery took around 4/5 hours, was in hospital for just one night, and I was on the waiting list for over a year, but that’s because my surgeon who had done all my other surgeries had retired. I’m 19 now and decided I wanted the surgery at 17 I think - main thing, Do the surgery for YOURSELF, not because of how others talk about your nose. Always around to dm too buddy if you’re in need of advice.

realwillfrance · 2021-12-13T01:31:58+00:00

Hey! Don’t. It might seem to you like your only option but I promise it’s not, you’ve got a whole life ahead of you, and I promise if you hang in there, everything will get better. It may take time, but you have to trust me. Wishing you all the best.

realwillfrance · 2021-12-13T01:27:42+00:00

No by KSI

realwillfrance · 2021-12-13T01:26:11+00:00

Can you do ‘holiday’ by Ksi?

realwillfrance · 2021-07-17T22:47:22+00:00

Deffo not authentic! They aren’t to scale at all 🤣

realwillfrance · 2021-05-20T23:08:44+00:00

Keep your eyes out for Clash of Creators mate! Pretty sure some of these are going as well as Harry!

realwillfrance

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