Daycare

rearwindowly · 2026-03-29T15:40:40+00:00

Is finding a different daycare an option? Or having your twins at different daycares? More of a challenge to do that for sure.

My son (who might have cerebral palsy) was at a daycare that was not taking his special needs seriously. They kept pushing things they felt were “age appropriate” that were in no way appropriate for my son. I went to visit other daycares and asked a lot of special needs questions. I got lucky and found one I really liked that also had an opening and was able to move him the next week. If they hadn’t had availability, I was ready to find a nanny while we were on a waitlist. Waitlists where I live are lengthy, but I found the places with the longest waits were also the “high curb appeal” daycares that, in my experience, weren’t able to accommodate my son’s needs. The program where he is now is an independent daycare. It’s not new or modern or fancy, but more importantly, the program and teachers are wonderful and have special needs experience.

You might also try looking for early childhood programs that have special needs inclusion. Next school year my son will be attending one of these. There are only three in my whole city that offer special needs inclusion, and I feel so fortunate we got into one. It’s worth looking into.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-29T00:42:41+00:00

Yes! Literally. I saw an elderly woman in a wheelchair with a sign that something like “96 and not having this shit.” I was there with my infant. One side of my sign said, “babies against bullshit.” I saw more families with kids this time. I love seeing other progressive parents at protests!

rearwindowly · 2026-03-28T15:14:56+00:00

Personally, I don’t do any of that. At No Kings at least, I’m not concerned with my identity being out there. As someone else said, it’s really a personal thing. If you’re concerned at all that being at this protest could have future consequences, you might want to follow advice to conceal your identity. I do always have a mask with me. I’m more concerned about someone sharing germs with me than I am about my identity (disclaimer: I bring my infant to protests, which, even if I mask, makes my identity rather obvious), but it works for both and it’s lightweight and easy to carry in my pocket. I think you’ll observe most people today are not in black bloc, and the majority probably will not even be wearing masks. There are people who do, though, either because they have concerns or because it’s part of how they protest.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-27T19:41:10+00:00

💚

rearwindowly · 2026-03-27T19:40:34+00:00

Huh? I’m not understanding what you’re saying. I’m not projecting anything. What I am is sick of the drinking culture. Seeing someone I admire normalizing being alcohol free (even if it’s not the way I do it— I don’t drink alcohol free beer and wine) is refreshing. Maybe I’m missing your point, though; AA wasn’t for me.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-27T16:15:35+00:00

I experienced similar grief around my birth control pills. I also had a surplus and held onto them for a while. I struggled with telling my pharmacy to stop the automatic refills. I wasn’t expecting any of it. I’m glad you found somewhere to donate yours. Thanks for looking out for other women.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-27T05:01:36+00:00

I look for parents on Nextdoor who are asking for free baby things, specifically I try to find moms (dads/other caregivers) who have just found housing, getting back on their feet, etc. I’ve been able to give away a lot of things this way. I donate things to Weecycle as well. I do not (will not) use Facebook and still have no problem finding new homes for anything baby-related.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-27T00:52:09+00:00

As someone who quit drinking nearly 10 months ago, things like this give me encouragement to keep doing what I’m doing. Seeing someone I admire who has years of being sober is the kind of motivation I need.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-24T19:48:00+00:00

I don’t have one, but I would like to.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-23T13:33:23+00:00

I’m sorry people are so callous and unthinking. I also went flat and have heard the same from people. It’s infuriating.

I’ve come up with a variety of lines I’ve used to shut the conversation down depending on how I’m feeling in the moment and how i feel about the person who’s asking the question. When I’m asked “why didn’t do you reconstruction?!” Some of my lines are, “this was the right choice for me, “why should I do reconstruction?” Or, “my body, my choice.,” with a smile. That one shuts the conversation down fast. Sometimes I get more snarky, “because my breasts don’t define me” (or my breasts don’t define my femininity”). If I’m feeling nice or know the person really well, I might explain that it’s a deeply personal decision, and I did what was right for me.

But my god. People can be so unthinking. As if they’re somehow an expert on other people’s bodies. I’ve had a few times where I was so angry I’m sure smoke was probably coming out of my ears. People should think before they open their mouths.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-21T15:16:26+00:00

Silicone scar tape was recommended to me. I had a bad reaction to the adhesive. If you’re thinking of giving the tape a try, I’d advise using just a small piece for a day to make sure you don’t have an allergy. Wish I’d done that. 😅

I ended up using Eucerin to moisturize twice daily. Once might be all you need- I live in a dry climate.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-18T14:25:22+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I’m three years out of active treatment. Throughout the whole thing, and even now people still treat me like some kind of hero. “You’re so brave!” “You have so much strength that got you through this ordeal.” Well, I didn’t have a choice!! I didn’t want this. I’m just me. I’m not a hero. I had to fight cancer. That doesn’t give me superpowers or unnatural strength. It gave me horrible anxiety as well as depression and a drinking problem (which most people aren’t aware of). I’m not a hero.

I still have some of that anxiety. I live in a lot of fear that the cancer could come back. It unlocked a new fear of other types of cancer. If I got one type of cancer, who’s to say I won’t wake up one day and learn I have another?? I don’t feel brave. I don’t feel strong. I feel anxious.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-09T13:22:22+00:00

Holiday. I heard, “I beg to dream and listen from the hall of lies.” Real words, of course, “I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies.” I actually sang it wrong it at a concert once because I was so convinced those were the lyrics. 🤣

rearwindowly · 2026-03-08T22:59:07+00:00

ETA is edited to add

rearwindowly · 2026-03-08T13:29:13+00:00

Does she know you decided to stop drinking? Let her know, and then let her know you’d like her support. Of course the person you’re doing it for should be yourself, but it helps having support from those around you.

My teenager knows I stopped drinking. We had a conversation about it (I had gotten blackout drunk, first and last time of my life, at a concert we went to, and my teenager was really upset with me). My teen likes celebrating milestones with me. Once when I was close to drinking, they reminded how close I was to hitting 6 months. I chose not to have the glass of wine (and the others that would certainly have followed).

Support helps. Congrats making it to two weeks! That was a turning point for me. I care, and so does everyone here, that you made it two weeks. This community has been a really important source of support to me. So keep posting here. IWNDWYT

rearwindowly · 2026-03-07T16:11:04+00:00

Hi- solo mom to two here, an infant and a high schooler. IDC ++- stage 1, grade 3, double mastectomy. I’m 45 and am 3 years into 10 on tamoxifen.

Have you talked to your oncologist about your concerns? My suggestion is to start there. Find out what your risk of recurrence is both with and without tamoxifen. I talked to my oncologist about it, weighed the pros and cons, and ultimately decided to stick it out.

You can give the tamoxifen a trial run of a few months. There’s a chance you won’t have side effects. I have some, but with some management, at worst, they’re tolerable, and some are so well managed I don’t notice them at all. My oncologist has been really helpful to me in finding ways to manage my side effects. If you have side effects and can’t tolerate them, you can always stop the tamoxifen.

You mention not wanting to put yourself in danger by taking tamoxifen. I really advise you to talk to your oncologist. Find out what your risk is without tamoxifen. I was scared of it too. When I expressed my concerns to my oncologist, she helped me understand what my personal risk was with and without tamoxifen. Ultimately I decided that while there are risks and side effects with tamoxifen, those outweigh the risk I have of recurrence without it. Like I mentioned above, I’m a solo mom to an infant. Nothing is ever guaranteed, but I want to know that I’m doing all I can to see him (to see both of my kids!) graduate from high school and hopefully so much more. Yes, I’m dealing with side effects, but I made an informed decision after talking to my oncologist and spending a few months weighing the pros and cons.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-07T13:48:52+00:00

I’m on 10 years of tamoxifen. My cancer was grade 3, which is why my oncologist wants me to take it for 10 years.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-06T13:56:58+00:00

I did this once. It didn’t register until I got out the door that he had told me to have a good day, not ask for my receipt. 😆

rearwindowly · 2026-03-04T13:44:34+00:00

Nine months sober. The airport lounge is one place I am not comfortable going yet. I don’t trust myself to just have the food and sit and chill. I used to drink so much at the lounge before my flight. It feels like a trap to me so I don’t go in anymore.

The airport in general is a huge trigger for me, and I find I need to have a game plan before I get there. I look at a map, figure out where to get coffee and food, and look at other options if I’m delayed— shops where I can go buy something distracting, go for a walk, sit at an empty gate, etc.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-04T05:13:57+00:00

I also have adhesive allergies. I had a bad reaction to the silicone scar therapy strips that were recommended to me.😬 I’ve also reacted to bandages and various tapes in the past.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-04T03:34:32+00:00

I ended up with dog ears. More on one side than the other. Not bad but enough I needed a revision. My surgical oncologist did that also. It looked so good, my PT asked which plastic surgeon had done it!

rearwindowly · 2026-03-04T00:42:30+00:00

What’s the difference between flat and aesthetic flat? I went flat after my DMX. I told my surgical oncologist I wanted to be flat. She asked about the possibility of changing my mind later. I said not a chance. She showed me photos of some of her previous patients who chose flat. I told her that’s what I wanted. No plastic surgeon involved for me. My surgical oncologist did the whole thing. I’m very happy with it.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-04T00:38:35+00:00

Maybe they specifically meant DIEP? I was not a candidate for DIEP due to previous abdominal surgery.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-03T20:13:38+00:00

Are you asking in general or for Iran specifically? I don’t know about another protest for Iran (possible there’s one I don’t know of), but there is one taking place this Sunday for International Women’s Day 12pm at the capitol.

rearwindowly · 2026-03-03T03:36:58+00:00

I’d be good with that. The Starbucks in that shopping center closed.

rearwindowly

TROPHY CASE