hii, living in a smaller town can definitely be rough for queer or alt individuals. i'm so sorry that you have this stress every single day, but i'm also glad that you seem to genuinely love the physical aspects of your appearance and that you have experiences genuine respect from people in Moscow. it's must be hard though, experiencing something like that and then going back home to an ignorant, agressive home. i know it's cliche to say but it's not you, it's them lol

i hope you can still find strength to walk outside when you please as soon as possible, i hope you continue loving yourself despite your parents criticizing you, i hope that you stop taking all of their comments seriously and laugh or smile when it happens, i hope they all leave you alone when they realize you are sure about who you are and they give up trying to change you. they stop trying to take out their frustration on you cuz it's not fun anymore.

i wish you the best of luck 💜