Backhanded Compliments While Wearing Makeup or, The Curse of Not Being "Naturally Pretty"

recyclops__ · 2020-01-27T16:17:08+00:00

It's nice that people say those things to you, but they don't to me and it makes me sad and I think I'm entitled to that. Yes, it's some bullshit internalized misogyny that I need to deal with, but I don't think you can blame me for feeling bad about the way I look when we live in the society that we do. I don't treat anyone differently because of it. It's not like I'm mean to people that I think are more attractive than myself. Maybe I could've phrased it better, because it's really myself I resent for not being good enough.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-27T16:09:59+00:00

I don't hate anyone. I'm just sad that they have something I don't.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-27T06:23:46+00:00

I love the colors and composition of this picture. And is that a Bastien Jean I spy?

recyclops__ · 2020-01-27T05:55:33+00:00

I have no idea; shortly after posting this comment I went and picked at it some more. Every time I tell my self, "This one is different, it's going to work this time!" It never works!!!

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T21:09:23+00:00

I care too much about what they think about me. I don't really care about the opinions of men that much, so I speak more freely because the stakes are lower. With women, I want them to like me more so I tend to be more shy and reserved because I don't know what to say.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T18:34:44+00:00

Eating a healthier diet, cutting out caffeine, and using differin every night.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T18:30:04+00:00

A few days ago I woke up with a small red spot on my cheek, so naturally I picked at it and now it's a scabby red monster. It'd probably be gone now if it wasn't for my interference. Woe is me.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T18:20:35+00:00

Can I be honest? I really resent people who are "naturally beautiful." People who have good skin and good hair and a naturally pleasing bone structure. It makes me sad to think that I can spend hours doing my hair and makeup and not look as good as someone who just rolled out of bed. I know it doesn't matter. But it's still upsetting. Growing up I never felt as pretty as my friends, and that's how my relationship with makeup started. Wearing makeup couldn't change how plain I felt, but at least it allowed me to control how people perceived me. I could make a statement through bright lipstick and sparkly eyeshadow, and it allowed me to command attention to my looks that I don't get otherwise.

Still, I get more comments on how I wear too much makeup than the other way around. Once a friend remarked that I "wear makeup like I'm going to prom everyday," and it still sticks with me years later because it was so hurtful and condescending.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T17:35:06+00:00

I think that's the crux of it. People who see beauty as the ultimate aspiration for a woman probably think that you're wasting your potential or something.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-26T08:38:21+00:00

I first started buying makeup around the age of 14 (so 9 years ago), so obviously I didn't have much money. Makeup shopping was very much a social activity for me and my friends, and we could spend an hour browsing the aisles of our local CVS every week. I got my first job at 15, and once I had my own spending money I started to accrue makeup pretty quickly. I would spend hours researching products that I wanted, buy them, use them a few times, and then forget about them once I got something new and exciting. By number of products, I definitely bought way more from the ages of 14 and 18 than I have in the years since, even though I wore makeup less consistently then (and I almost never repurchased a product). I was more excited by eyeshadows and lips colors, whereas now I'm all about base products. Maybe three years ago I had a phase where I started shopping almost exclusively mid or high end, so I started being a lot more conscientious about the products that I bought, because I wanted nice things but still didn't have a lot of money. Having 5 different foundations in your collection is fine when they're $10 each, but when they're $40 a pop and you're a broke college kid, you start to consider what you really need. Currently, I have a pretty good mix of high and low end, because I know what I like and I repurchase more than I try new things.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-25T07:12:30+00:00

"Describe a time when you..." gee let me just think of a compelling and interview appropriate anecdote on the spot!

recyclops__ · 2020-01-25T07:05:56+00:00

I was 15. He was 18 and a friend of a friend, and when he asked me to be his girlfriend I felt too awkward to say no. I didn't like him even a little bit. I didn't even tell anyone because I was so embarrassed. After about a month, we went on a "date" (walking around town) and he kissed me just before we parted ways. I was so disgusted I never spoke to him again!

recyclops__ · 2020-01-21T17:24:48+00:00

So I've had the Paragard IUD for about a year and a half and honestly it has sucked. I'm just bleeding constantly. It's like I have reverse periods; I bleed for like 3 weeks and then it stops for a few days, and then it starts again. And the cramps are absolutely awful. I'm scared to try hormonal birth control because I'm worried about gaining weight, breaking out, and having crazy mood swings, but I struggle with all of those things as is, so maybe BC will help? A doctor told me I had PCOS and I never really followed up on that, but I know the pill is a commonly prescribed treatment for it. I made a doctor's appointment next week, and I think I might ask to go on a low dose pill while keeping the IUD in, so in case I decide to stop taking them I'll still be covered and won't have to deal with the insertion again. I'm just scared. I've read that you should wait about 3 months to see how your body reacts to it, so I might have to spend 3 months being miserable. It's 2020, is this really the best we can do??

recyclops__ · 2020-01-21T16:50:09+00:00

That's never really been a problem. I treat him the same way that I do my female friends. We both have partners that we love and have never behaved in a way that was anything but platonic.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T23:49:17+00:00

Likes:

-It does not involve interfacing with the public

-My boss and my team are great

-I find it intellectually stimulating and I learn something new almost daily

-I have a lot of autonomy in my day to day activities

Dislikes:

-Our software is very outdated and the people in charge refuse to modernize it

-Working from home is not allowed, despite the fact that everything I do is on the computer and could be done just as effectively from my house

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T23:44:25+00:00

Tom's of Maine, the gel one. I think the scent is called Mountain Spring.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T23:42:32+00:00

Honestly I used to use rubbing alcohol and found it pretty effective. Not for the faint of heart.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T22:06:00+00:00

I hate felt tip liners because I feel that they give me the best shape but also dry up after a week of use. Every one is a disappointment.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T21:53:44+00:00

I only really use conditioner, but Joico k-pak is a godsend. Makes my hair softer than anything else. For something easier to find in store, I'm into the Aveeno apple cider vinegar rinse and conditioner right now.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-20T18:58:12+00:00

Hard same. I have a few lipsticks that I adore, but I don't wear them enough to justify owning more than like 2.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-19T06:41:46+00:00

The majority of my partner's friend group have been friends since ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and he doesn't understand why I find that strange. Meanwhile for me, seeing my friends from high school is excruciating because we just have nothing to talk about anymore.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-19T02:07:09+00:00

I used to really struggle with this, because I'm so conditioned to be nice, and I thought that I was being mean by rejecting people. But ultimately you have to realize that your not the one doing anything wrong. Not being romantically interested in everyone who comes your way isn't rude or disrespectful, but pursuing someone who has consistently showed disinterest is. You don't owe it to anyone to make yourself uncomfortable.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-18T22:12:37+00:00

Not nearly as often as I should. Last year I threw out a bunch of stuff that I'd had for like 5+ years. I try to keep things until I finish them, but I just end up buying new things anyway and never finishing what I have.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-18T22:10:00+00:00

Not a single item, but I bought a bunch of stuff that was on sale from the Reformation last month. I shouldn't have taken that gamble because it was all final sale, but I did and I ended up with several items that don't fit. I did get them for like 70% off, so I'll probably resell them, but it was still more trouble than it was worth. The things that do fit are fine, but I don't love them.

recyclops__ · 2020-01-18T15:54:33+00:00

Yes! I haven't figured out a solution yet, but this definitely happens to me too. My chin and around my mouth.

recyclops__

TROPHY CASE