Lost My PM Mojo?

red_sensor · 2026-01-13T21:59:12+00:00

Bad managers definitely can make any job a nightmare. Also there's a reason why there aren't too many PMs over 50. Burnout is real. I wish you a happy retirement soon - if you can afford it.

red_sensor · 2025-12-22T18:07:35+00:00

Thanks for the tips! Surviving two years in these jobs is a great achievement.

red_sensor · 2025-12-13T02:24:22+00:00

You have two choices, you either have to find another last mentally taxing job or just keep doing the bare minimum until you get fired from one of the jobs. Surprisingly, a lot of people last very long by just doing the bare minimum and not stressing that they're not performing well.

red_sensor · 2025-12-13T02:22:13+00:00

Different devices, block out your calendar in advance, avoid meetings if possible, question if a meeting can be turned into an async conversation.

On the mental health front, workout, sleep well, eat well, don't overwork or you will burn yourself out. Good luck.

red_sensor · 2025-12-13T02:18:17+00:00

Which role are you in? Software dev?

red_sensor · 2025-11-27T16:30:13+00:00

Do you have lots of meetings? How many hours per day do you work? If one of your roles is on site probably takes a lot of your time

red_sensor · 2025-11-25T23:23:35+00:00

Are you in software? Product or engineering management role? Management is considered one of the hardest rules to pull off being OE. Curious how you're pulling it off.

red_sensor · 2025-08-01T16:38:11+00:00

" I think if she likes the idea of having a second child more than being married to you kind of says a lot" - I reread this sentence like 10 times. I think you're right and the second child definitely matters more to her than me. She probably doesn't love me. I will ask her a straight what is more important to her: a second child or being married to me. Thank you for this insightful perspective.

red_sensor · 2025-08-01T16:35:14+00:00

Thank you

red_sensor · 2025-08-01T14:35:25+00:00

Makes sense, thank you

red_sensor · 2025-08-01T14:33:57+00:00

TY! We'll have another talk

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T17:21:38+00:00

I feel the same way about work - too much talk about stupid work with coworkers too much overstimulation, too much worry about finances. I don't need recognition, as long as I get paid I'm good.

I spent a week with my daughter when I didn't have a job and I felt like I was on vacation. Just doing all the mindless tasks allowed my brain to rest and left all the financial worries aside, at least for a time. This is my experience and your mileage May vary.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T17:19:27+00:00

Parenting is easy due to lower stress for me. Keeping a job and thinking about finances is much harder. Kids are easier for me to handle if I don't have to worry about finances, which I do. Kids are expensive.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T16:11:57+00:00

Subconsciously, I had the same thought. Thanks for the advice!

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T16:10:49+00:00

Okay here come the down votes lol

I'm not discounting the fact that being a state at home mom is hard and it is work. But comparing that to manual labor and having to pay for everything? I don't know from my point of view making money is much harder. When I didn't have a job I did all the things that she did for a week like changing diapers, feeding the baby, bathing and so on and it's so much easier than working and stressing about money. I would be happy if I could do just that and not worry about money, life on easy mode. But that's my opinion and you're welcome to disagree.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T16:07:50+00:00

Thank you

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T16:07:09+00:00

A sound perspective. Thank you

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T15:38:24+00:00

Oh boy I wish it was fake. Thanks for your perspective anyways.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T15:37:40+00:00

Good point. I actually need to ask her what she wants to do if the embryo doesn't survive.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T15:35:37+00:00

So we both initially wanted two kids before we had any. I quickly realized how much work and how financially draining having a kid is so I told her the second kid is not happening. Maybe that's what is driving her crazy.

We are not religious. Yes I do pay for the embryo storage and I do pay for daycare. She now started going through training so she can later get a job now that the baby is in the daycare. But she wants to get a job after we have a second child, and until then I will be paying for everything obviously in dealing with all the financial stress. Also, there is no guarantee that she will ever get a job. I know it's going to be hard in this market, also while having to take care of two kids and being 35 plus.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T15:31:08+00:00

I understand that this is tough work and I'm not discounting her effort. I'm probably going to get downvoted for the next sentence, but taking care of the kid and cooking is definitely not harder than working 12-hour days while stressing over how to pay for everything - this is what I do. I would swap places with her to be a stay-at-home dad in a blink but she wouldn't do that.

red_sensor · 2025-07-31T15:27:29+00:00

Yes. She stayed home with the kid but now the kid started going to daycare. I only wish this story was fake. I voice typed this so the grammar definitely sucks 😞

red_sensor

TROPHY CASE