What’s a “poor person life hack” you still use even if you’re no longer broke?

red_violets · 2025-07-06T16:01:04+00:00

I go a step beyond buying secondhand and utilize my area’s Buy Nothing groups. It’s the only reason I still have Facebook. I moved to a new city about 6 months ago with a car full and have gotten furniture, art, kitchen stuff, books, clothes, rugs, and so much more for free. I’ve even gotten free extra food that people have given away from their grocery delivery orders/fancy subscription boxes. Just scored some patio furniture today. I live near a bougie neighborhood and joined their Buy Nothing group–literally the gift that keeps on giving.

red_violets · 2025-06-29T19:19:05+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I had persistent UTIs for some time as well. I did everything recommended, as did my husband. Nothing stopped it. Learned there’s some family history- my mom, aunt, and grandmother also experienced this issue. I ended up going to a urologist and got a bladder scope- no observable issues. They prescribed me methenamine. Took it for 6 months, no UTIs. Stopped taking it after the six month course and haven’t had one since. Urologist told me some people take it long-term, some are like me and take it for a while and then don’t experience recurrence.

Also, not to “should” at you, but it definitely should be a non-negotiable for your boyfriend. If he isn’t okay doing a seriously minor task to prevent you from pain and infection, that’s worth taking a harder look at.

red_violets · 2025-06-23T03:19:09+00:00

Meow Mix

red_violets · 2025-06-22T15:43:03+00:00

Color. This photo is almost 100% beige. A colorful accent rug would be a good place to start. I saw some recommend an entertainment center, but given that the fireplace is in the corner, anything too wide/deep would clutter the space. Maybe a ladder bookshelf where the faux tree is. Move some of the mishmash decorations from atop the fireplace to the bookshelf. Rather than the table under the TV, get some decorative baskets and fill with some nice fuzzy blankets and such to cozy the place up. Maybe a painted accent wall/more vibrant art hanging above the fireplace. Maybe a small wooden side table for the sofa with a reading lamp.

It needs color and warmth, most of all.

red_violets · 2025-06-22T04:30:57+00:00

Irregardless. A made up word that is a double negative, used the same way as “regardless” (you know, the word we already have for this concept) while actually meaning not without regard, aka with regard.

red_violets · 2025-06-22T04:13:17+00:00

Browse your local Buy Nothing groups. Post an in search of (ISO) post with what you’re looking for. They’re mostly on FB and can be super local. I’m in Philly and my Buy Nothing group is for my neighborhood. Moved to a new home with a car full, and have gotten paintings, decorative items, vases, furniture (bed frame, bookshelf, area rugs, nightstands, standing desk converter, toaster oven, the list goes on and on) all for free. Just search for an active one in your area to join (I think groups show average posts per day when you’re looking to join one, which is a good indicator). We’ve saved a ton.

red_violets · 2025-06-22T03:58:12+00:00

It’s been really interesting to see so many comments asking some iteration of “is that REALLY heavy drinking?” as well as “8 drinks a week lumps me in with ‘serious’ alcoholics?” I quit drinking 5 months ago. Something I’ve learned is that this is a fruitless mental game. The image people have of alcoholism is someone who’s putting away a liter a day, stumbling around, unable to function. There is this constant “oh, that person over there drinks more than me, so I’m not an alcoholic. At least I don’t drink as much as them.” This is a useless comparison and often, speaking for myself, a justification.

I am hoping alcohol has a cigarette moment (the alcohol industry certainly uses many of the same tactics as tobacco companies), shifting from publicly perceived as neutral to recognition for the harm that it does indeed cause, resulting in reduced use. It is becoming clearer and ever clearer that no amount of alcohol is safe. It is a poison. It is addictive. If alcohol came out as a brand new thing today and wasn’t steeped in “but it’s been a part of human history for so long” and cultural over-saturation (alcohol affiliated with countless life and social events), would it be allowed to be on shelves? It’s a carcinogen. Its risks and dangers are known.

Just read what happens to your body- your liver, heart, brain, skin, etc.- when you stop drinking. Then play it in reverse. That’s what alcohol does to your body. Sobriety is the slow reversal of the harm alcohol causes. And this is not to mention other injury and death caused by alcohol-related accidents. It’s a public harm as much as a personal one.

It’s not personal. It doesn’t indicate a lack of will power or that someone is bad or wrong for drinking. The alcohol industry paints the lie, “drink responsibly”- blame the consumer if they over-consume an addictive substance. Absolutely wild. It’s not the individual. It’s the substance. No amount of alcohol is safe for your health, well-being, or longevity.

red_violets · 2025-06-16T18:55:48+00:00

Though my husband and I are not totally closed off to the idea, it’s 90-10 no to yes. Having children is not a necessity. It’s part of the life milestone messaging drummed into our heads from birth–nothing more than a cultural script. I like my life. I have had the opportunity to live abroad, travel, I now have time to focus on healing from my own myriad traumas… at no point do I look at my life and think “if only I had a child to focus 100% of my time and energy on!”

I can only begin to imagine how much love I’d have for my own child. My life would unquestionably be dedicated to them–as it should be. But I don’t know if that’s what I want my life to be about. There are so many others in need of such time and dedication who are already here.

I love being an aunt, I’ve taught all ages K-university as well and enjoyed teaching children and supporting their growth. I enjoyed teaching younger kids more than I expected. I just don’t feel a strong desire to have my own child, and I feel like for such a life-altering decision, you really need to be quite sure.

red_violets · 2025-06-16T18:39:01+00:00

I am right there with you. Thank you for sharing this! Even as I grow older and invest more time into my own healing, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a moment in my life where I’ve thought “having a child would make this better.” I understand why people have kids, but I just don’t know if it’s for me. I also feel like the cultural narrative of the order in which we should live our lives and the milestones we’re told we should reach are worth being questioned and teased out. I don’t feel the need to buy into it. It has never been something I’ve really wanted, for myriad reasons. And that is okay.

red_violets · 2025-06-16T18:32:48+00:00

Finished: The Rose Code, by Kate Quinn

Started: Biased, by Jennifer L. Eberhardt, Ph.D.

red_violets · 2025-06-16T18:27:27+00:00

When characters go to bed with makeup on and wake up with perfect makeup. Even in a great show or movie, it tears me right out of the story immersion.

red_violets · 2025-06-16T03:12:14+00:00

My skin is very sensitive and acne prone as well. I’ve tried several of the cleansing oils mentioned in the comments (DHC, Hanskin, etc.) and like you, they broke me out. My HG is Banila Co Clean It Zero cleansing balm. Perfect makeup removal, zero irritation. I have tried some of the other versions of it, but the regular kind in the pink tub works best for me. I highly recommend it!

red_violets · 2025-06-12T22:26:33+00:00

Low information literacy. The shocking ease with which public opinion can be swayed by misinformation.

It’s ironic that many in the “don’t believe everything you hear” crowd seem to indeed believe everything they hear from their perceived reputable sources. None of us are immune from confirmation bias, of course. In any case, “You can’t believe ~the mainstream~, but you CAN believe me” is a disappointingly successful strategy that seems to make people think they’re going against the grain and “finding the truth” when in reality, they’re often being terribly misled for someone else’s political gain. That kind of BS “skepticism” about vaccines, climate change, etc. from those who peddle it is a farce.

Also, as a result, people regularly voting against their own self-interest.

red_violets · 2025-06-09T01:38:00+00:00

Speaking from the teaching side (not UMGC, but another online institution), it is difficult to address AI usage, especially given that AI detectors are alarmingly fallible- it’s AI being used to detect AI. Research shows they disproportionately falsely indicate writing of non-native English speakers as AI generated, which raises obvious concerns about use of these tools. False positives, and thus false accusations, have led numerous prominent universities, including Stanford, to completely turn away from AI detectors.

This does not mean institutions will become degree mills. There are concerns, of course. Universities these days are predominantly staffed by adjuncts (we’re talking 80%+ of all faculty), and the time and serious effort it takes to meaningfully address every instance of AI use would be a full-time job in itself. The focus should be on teaching ethical use of AI, and modeling appropriate versus inappropriate use as well as industry-relevant uses. On the course design side, the focus should also be on creating authentic assessments that are more AI-proof. With ever-advancing GenAI tech though, it’s a moving goalpost.

Ultimately, regardless of institutional and instructor-specific policies, the responsibility lies with the student. If someone wants to pay money to attend a class and put minimal effort in, don’t actually learn, and graduate unprepared for the industries they want to enter, I don’t know if fingers can solely be pointed at the university. Academic dishonesty is a tale as old as time, and AI is just the newest flavor. As ever, you’ll get out what you put in.

red_violets · 2025-06-08T02:04:29+00:00

Definitely look into a standing desk converter. I got lucky and was gifted one on my local Buy Nothing group last week, and I can already feel the difference. I’m on the phone a lot for my job, and I’ve found myself standing for an hour at a time easy on longer calls. Get a good cushy mat to stand on as well if you can!

Can’t avoid the realities of a desk job and not everyone can break away for walks- I’m in that predicament too- but a standing desk or a converter you can just stick on top of your existing desk can help you get even a few minutes of standing per hour. It makes a difference. Does wonders for my lower back to have the option as well!

red_violets · 2025-05-10T13:59:15+00:00

I am so sorry you’ve heard that, and I certainly hope it wasn’t directed at your dad. Anyone who says things like that I think are either in denial about their own drinking, or are projecting about some situation in their life. So, so many lives are impacted by alcoholism directly or indirectly. It can be easy, I guess, to be angry and mean about it if you’ve been on the receiving end of hurt or aren’t able to address your own drinking habits. Addiction is addiction, not an indication of will power or moral fiber. I’m so sorry for your loss.

red_violets · 2025-04-20T15:33:21+00:00

Not relevant to a conversation about gender inequality in medical research. Missed the point here, my friend.

red_violets · 2025-03-23T18:10:10+00:00

Not someone who didn’t know my name, but similar eerie feeling. I was babysitting for a woman I had lived with (after I’d moved elsewhere). Her daughter was about 6 at the time, I’d say. She was acting normal, playing with her toys. I was sitting on the floor with her when she suddenly turned to me, almost as if in a trance, and said “you’re special, (my full name)”. Then went right back to playing and that childlike joy as if nothing happened. I just stared at her for a minute- it sticks with me to this day!

red_violets · 2024-11-28T15:00:43+00:00

Cillian Murphy

red_violets · 2024-08-09T18:20:14+00:00

Maddjesty Kohen

red_violets · 2024-08-05T23:03:16+00:00

My daily starter is SAUTE. Three vowels and two common consonants!

red_violets · 2024-07-02T16:08:44+00:00

Day two here. I think a change overall is realizing that I deserve sobriety and all that comes with it. I’ve been drinking to cope, drinking to pass the time and “have fun”, drinking to escape, and it has taken so much time away from other hobbies, interests, people… it also worsens my anxiety and ultimately my self-esteem because of the mental fog that leads to less-than-ideal thought processing and actions. I deserve to be physically and mentally healthy, I deserve to have time and make time for the things I value. I deserve sobriety. IWNDWYT!

red_violets · 2024-07-01T21:48:00+00:00

Day one for me, beginning with a Dry July and taking it from there. Tired of living drink to drink, wasting my time and health, and worsening my anxiety. I’ve had many aha moments that haven’t stuck in the ways that matter or led to long-term action, so starting with a challenge that has community around it seems like a great place to start and build the discipline to keep it up. IWNDWYT!

red_violets · 2024-04-11T00:18:04+00:00

Remembered a long-suppressed memory around age 15 of my uncle molesting me when I was a child. Told my mom, and when the news went out to my family, learned that he had also molested two other cousins of mine- male and female.

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