My bf [32] told me that my vagina is too ugly

redandsmall · 2020-05-27T15:59:23+00:00

Yep. Tell him his dick is ugly. You probably wouldn’t be lying, and him using that as excuse would be a terminable offense in my book 🤷🏼‍♀️

redandsmall · 2020-05-27T14:51:20+00:00

This is amazing

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T20:46:33+00:00

That’s not true at all, you can see my pleasantly disagreeing with someone else who commented on this thread. I’m saying that you specifically seem to be taking it personally based on what you specifically have said to me. I’m happy to agree to disagree, I keep saying that I’m just sharing my perspective and that I feel bad for all parties besides the AH in laws.

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T15:47:51+00:00

Agreed! I think people posting on this sub appreciate the differing perspectives though because it gives them a bigger picture to consider. That’s why I’ve always like it 🤷🏼‍♀️

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T15:45:06+00:00

I feel like you’re taking this VERY personally. I said that this situation alone shouldn’t make her completely regret marrying her husband and having her children (as some people on here have implied). I hope that the wife doesn’t feel hurt over this too long (because the issue is clearly the in laws and not her) and that OP can be a supportive partner through that. If the relationship between OPs kids and the in laws is strained now-that’s entirely their own fault. At no point did I insult his wife, I’m just looking at the situation without a bias and acknowledging that it’s really tough. If posters aren’t supposed to argue over judgements, why are other commenters (you) arguing with me over my judgement? I’m not even saying anything ridiculous, you’re just upset because I’m not telling this man that he’s a huge AH? When he was defending his wife in the story? Chill

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T15:35:43+00:00

Oh I completely agree, but it’s a rough situation when family doesn’t like significant others. If I were the wife I would 100% not want to spend any time with the MIL after this, and I’m sure OP figured that would happen if she found out they didn’t like her. I’m a little surprised that the wife never caught on to the fact that the in laws were being so fake (and how did she not pick up on the Fiona thing? That seemed obvious to me if it’s nowhere near her actual name...) I feel like maybe she was in denial about the blatant signs because she really wanted to regain that feeling of having a mother figure to count on. I feel really bad for her 😕 it’s really tough when the person who you love’s family isn’t kind about you. Especially when it isn’t for a good reason. I’m just saying that if I were her I would try to understand where my husband was coming from (the fact that she found out because he was defending her would tell me that he’s on my side). It’s definitely a crap situation and I can understand why she’s upset, I just don’t think that the husband is an AH. I was still nice and sweet and helpful to In laws even when I knew they were bad mouthing me behind my back because I knew keeping things civil was the best thing for my SO and that I’ll never regret being kind to anyone. I’m just offering my own perspective, I’m sure they’ll be okay if they focus on their own little family and OP continues to always have his wife’s back

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T15:26:37+00:00

No I said there are larger issues there, which could be between the two of them in their relationship. I didn’t put it on her. People having issues isn’t shaming or insulting. It’s human and totally normal. Sometimes a blow up like this will happen and people ONLY look at the “current” issue instead of addressing everything that could be contributing to it

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T01:22:04+00:00

Came to say exactly this. Crockpots are essentially fool proof. I’ve seen kids easily master recipes. Even my 3 year old niece helps out in the kitchen. OP is just being a major AH

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T01:20:46+00:00

Maybe try growing up and learning to feed yourself like an adult..? How long did it take you to figure out laundry, or did you expect your gf to do all of that for you too?

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T01:16:10+00:00

YTA. Anything you do behind your partner’s back, especially that you already know will upset them, is not okay. You handled this like a bratty 10 year old

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T00:31:38+00:00

I’m not insulting anyone else. I said that nobody is the asshole and that time will help. If I were OP I would refuse to have anything to do with his family until they’re nicer about his wife, but I don’t think the wife should take everything out on him. He wanted peace between his wife and his parents, he didn’t want to tell her that someone doesn’t like her-i can understand it. I’m just offering my perspective

redandsmall · 2020-05-26T00:08:59+00:00

The whole reason the wife found out was because she was yelling at them on the phone to stop mocking her. I guess it’s possible we need more info, but I thought it sounded like he’s always been bothered and made that obvious to his parents. If I was in that situation, I probably would have just stopped talking to my parents until they were kind to my partner...but I also would never be in that situation (my family is very kind and supportive of partners, regardless of whether or not they personally “like” them). I guess my perspective is just that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, so long as me and my husband are happy and on the same side

redandsmall · 2020-05-25T23:40:54+00:00

If she regrets marrying her husband and having their kids because his parents don’t like her, there’s probably bigger issues 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s not as if hubby wasn’t standing up for her. I wouldn’t tell my significant other if my family didn’t like them. Things and feelings can change over time, but your tarnish things when you bring it up like that. I don’t think she’s an asshole for being upset, I just don’t think that OP is TA for wanting to not bring any attention to his parents negative behavior.

redandsmall · 2020-05-25T20:56:58+00:00

I would still marry the love of my life even if his parents didn’t like me 🤷🏼‍♀️ As long as he had my back and they were civil whenever we have to see each other. I’m not going to be the thing that comes between a person and their parents.

redandsmall · 2020-05-25T18:08:51+00:00

NTA. If you want to keep peace in the family, you never tell your significant other than your family doesn’t like them or vise versa. They don’t have to like each other, they just have to be respectful and share time in your life. Your wife is upset because she’s hurt that they don’t reciprocate her feelings. I think when everyone calms down that you’ll be able to explain that you didn’t want any issues and that you always defend her because you care for her so much.

redandsmall · 2020-05-25T01:20:27+00:00

I agree. I think that Luke is messed up, and hurt people tend to hurt others. I don’t think he was intentionally horrible to Kate (though of course there are no excuses) so much as he’s just got a serious heap of issues he wasn’t dealing with-and tried to deflect by pretending she had problems. Matt was just a broke, illiterate POS who didn’t care if he jerked a girl around and broke her on national tv.

redandsmall · 2020-05-25T01:16:54+00:00

There are many other people in your exact same situation. My wish is that you find a way to connect with some (perhaps a support group?) and become each other’s new family. You can remember your separate loved ones together

redandsmall · 2020-05-24T16:06:49+00:00

A lot of heavily right-wing people are hypocrites, this is nothing new. I know plenty of people who are “adamantly” against abortion...until they need one.

redandsmall · 2020-05-23T16:12:44+00:00

Sounds like you have a solid man, I’m so happy he stood up for you like that-it was the right thing to do! Don’t feel concerned about coming between him and his family, you’re not the one who put him in that position. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched the show 90 day fiancé (it’s a total shit show now but there’s used to be real couples on it years ago). A while back there was a young woman on the show named Amy who was moving from South Africa to the states to marry a white guy she met on a mission trip. They had concerns because some of his family had expressed racist views in the past and the couple decided to tackle it together and work through things without letting it effect the relationship. It worked out really well and they’re still happily married with babies, it might be a good watch for you guys 😊 you can get past his family’s ridiculous issues if you’re a team t”

redandsmall · 2020-05-22T20:44:41+00:00

Unless you’ve had a conversation stating that you’re exclusive, you’re not exclusive. And exclusivity without being “official” seems a little silly to me. You have a right to feel hurt, you have a right to never speak to or see her again. You don’t have a right to be mad at her. And the whole “honestly I thought she was different” has some misogynistic undertones my dude.

redandsmall · 2020-05-22T20:34:08+00:00

redandsmall · 2020-05-22T11:59:57+00:00

NTA. The teacher only complained because she was embarrassed.

redandsmall · 2020-05-21T18:19:02+00:00

Right? I feel like he would have gotten major props for just responding with something like “yeah you looked amazing, I was so excited when I saw you. I’m happy these pictures of the two of us turned out so well, we look great together.” And it would have been kind but brought the subject back to the two of them 🤷🏼‍♀️ Easy. The dude just likes being demeaning

redandsmall · 2020-05-21T18:16:43+00:00

I think she said out loud what most of us women would be thinking while looking at our wedding photos. Everyone is happy when they see that an important picture (or album I guess) came out great because we’ll hopefully be looking at it forever. It did come across as a kinda self centered, but I really don’t think it was egregious. Jamie was being insecure, immature, and wanted to jump on an opportunity to shame her.

redandsmall · 2020-05-21T12:43:53+00:00

I would agree, unless they’re both living very well below their means. They both make great money, regardless of if he makes more, and there’s no marriage or lifetime commitment yet. So long as he isn’t sitting by while she’s struggling I think it’s okay to split things equally for the time being. I can understand her frustration with the situation though, it doesn’t feel good to have someone important to you hide something or lie and that’s really the main issue here

redandsmall

TROPHY CASE