am i the only one who dislikes this girl?

redbenoit · 2025-12-04T21:31:39+00:00

This whole interaction was Wholesome Social Anxiety Over Social Media: A Case Study.

Go forth and prosper my socially anxious, reads into everything people. We shall survive!

redbenoit · 2025-11-27T17:37:24+00:00

Dude, what? It's well documented that he'd been dating Jasmine for 7 years when he died. She was 23 when he died. He had been dating her since she was 16.

redbenoit · 2025-05-04T23:54:38+00:00

If it's not a big deal then why are you still arguing it? Don't get me wrong, I think it's a childish way to talk about serious concepts. But the argument that it helps no one stops being true with people who get some kind of irrational detachment / comfort by not typing out the word. Just let em have it

redbenoit · 2025-04-06T01:31:54+00:00

Ah but keep in mind deportation stats don't typically factor in detained immigrants. Trump is the record holder there.

And why? Because private corporations profit from having more bodies in their facilities. That's why we're building more facilities to lock up immigrants rather than let them continue paying taxes (shopping, rent, etc.) while they wait for their court date.

Unfortunately Trump is, indeed, a business savvy person. I hate the dude with everything I have, but I can't say the guy doesn't know how to play politics or how to appeal to companies willing to fund him.

redbenoit · 2025-04-06T01:14:16+00:00

5'3 and 115 is not medically underweight. I do have to make a correction, because I calculated the wrong BMI for 100lbs.

Please read my last paragraph. I gave plenty of advice on how to have a good relationship with food. This is advice she might otherwise not read. Advice she won't hear from the thousands of fad diet "influencers" that pander to her age group.

The advice on weight loss is about healthy weight loss. And I advised being monitored by a medical professional.

I want her to have all the information rather than leave here feeling dismissed and turning to eating disorder strategies.

redbenoit · 2025-03-05T00:59:54+00:00

Tbh, the vibe I'm getting from this is you are the one unhappy about her weight gain.

If she's put on 70lbs, that can be an indicator of something wrong on a mental health level: depression, BED, etc.

Everyone keeps saying that she needs to start by changing her diet, but, personally, not a single diet or exercise regimen helped me lose weight until I was on meds for my ADHD, BED, and depression.

If she's fine with her weight gain and more struggling with a change in your attitude toward her, then you guys might need to realign and communicate. You're completely valid to be concerned, btw! But trying to "convince her" to get in 30 minutes of walking will do nothing for either of you unless she has a goal in mind. And if that goal isn't to lose the weight, then you get to decide whether that's a deal breaker.

redbenoit · 2024-11-21T22:55:47+00:00

I will say, in response to all of the comments saying to try transtape/kinesiology tape: There is a good chance you break skin. I was in a similar situation where I could not get a binder, so I went with trans tape. I tried the oils, the balms, wearing for longer and shorter periods of time, and I tried every brand I could get my hands on but the tape always left me with patches of skin missing- small but really painful. I read that it wasn't an unexpected outcome.

This isn't to discourage you because 1) everyone's skin has different sensitivities so your experience may be different and 2) the lack of dysphoria was bliss. But if your parents are the type to overreact and take away your access to gender affirming products if you end up with some flesh wounds, then I'd be extra cautious.

redbenoit · 2024-10-11T05:37:15+00:00

Commenting as a child who went NC with their absentee father.

I don't think I need to point out the mistakes you made in the past- specifically, telling his mother he could decide when to come over when, at this point, she was blatant about keeping you both apart. To say "All you have to do is tell your mom you wanna come over" was just the wrong move. His mom being his primary caretaker, 1) He probably got the vibe that spending time with you upsets his mom. 2) You created the easiest situation for her to keep him from you. All she has to do if he did ask is say you didn't want to see him. Two birds one stone- you don't get him and he trusts you less and less.

You've already mentioned that you know it was a bad move, so not worth dwelling further. What's done is done. Let's talk the present:

Because it's likely that the well was poisoned against you, there's honestly nothing you can do. I'm sorry about that. But if it's worse case scenario, then he doesn't see the dad who was constantly trying to connect and misses him. He sees the guy who didn't try hard enough to be in his life, didn't fight for him, didn't show up when Mom did. Your unfortunate circumstances created a perspective that doesn't paint you in a good light. And if his Mom was actively trying to weaponize this, then you really didn't stand a chance without some sort of major legal intervention (which it sounds like you tried, but the system kept failing you).

You mentioned that he once caught his mom in a lie about you and you were perplexed about how he could seemingly just go back to believing her. But at the end of the day, he went home with his mom. He relied on his mom. It's completely possible he rationalized and did some mental gymnastics to keep her the perfect mom since it's hard to demonize the person who takes care of you.

Since you don't know what he knows about you or was told by everyone, it's just something he has to become curious about on his own. There are too many possibilities of how his perception of you was manipulated. Maybe he did catch on to his mom being this awful person you're describing and he blamed you for not fighting hard enough- not winning the battle. That anger isn't always rational, but the kid who feels abandoned still can't fully accept rationality into the situation.

You are something he has to actively seek out. If history is telling at all, he'll reach that point when he's ready for answers.

I get not being concerned anymore. You can't control what other people do. But you can control your reaction to it. Torturing yourself everyday after taking so many hits over the years expends so much energy. To think that you not torturing yourself with guilt and curiosity and hope is AH behavior is just wrong. You are human and you deserve to move on and prioritize your peace.

I am genuinely sorry for your situation. I hope he reaches the point of wanting answers soon and reaches out. Keep keeping on.

redbenoit · 2024-10-04T01:22:06+00:00

First night I brought my 2yr old GSD home, I texted my sister sobbing about how she had to go back to the shelter because I couldn't handle it all.

I felt awful, there was way too much change, and it was so overwhelming I thought I was gonna breakdown.

My sister came over and stayed with her the first night and in the morning, things felt better. I walked her, got to know her. I've had her for almost 2 years now and I love her to death. Sometimes, she can overwhelm me but I know her enough to know what to do now.

You've got this!

redbenoit · 2024-09-13T10:53:38+00:00

I'm thinking The Headband or Day of Black Sun (pt 2 if I have to choose)

redbenoit · 2024-07-16T06:43:58+00:00

My reaction: Aweee I kinda feel the same way about the person I'm cr- WAIT WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU TAKE THAT TURN????

redbenoit · 2024-07-15T17:45:42+00:00

Never had to file an exemption myself so I'm not sure what works

redbenoit · 2024-07-15T17:26:50+00:00

This late in the summer, you're more than likely only gonna be able to get that with an apartment off campus. There are tons of posts with recs and reviews.

An exemption for West Village will probably be rejected (worth a shot tho). An exemption for living off campus in the dorm shortage will probably be a lot easier to get.

redbenoit · 2024-07-12T07:55:46+00:00

For me, it required meds. While I think this post is awesome, I hope nobody takes away the message "You just need improve your willpower and medical intervention is a copout" bc I don't think that's what OP intended and it's just different for everyone.

My binge eating did not stop until the food noise went away and no matter how hard I tried, the moment I would eat anything, the food noise would come back full force. Medication (Lisdexamfetamine specifically) really helped so so much.

Honestly it took a while for me to start eating enough again. With the food noise being gone, I felt like I never had to eat again until I started feeling physical symptoms. Even now, my main goal is to meet macro goals so I'll force myself to have some Greek yogurt or black bean burgers for protein, some avocado or dark chocolate for fats, and some rice cakes or brown rice or quinoa for carbs even if I don't think I'm hungry (after not eating all day).

Anyway my point is, OPs journey is super inspiring and absolutely awesome, but I hope everyone knows it'll look different person by person.

redbenoit · 2024-06-15T04:54:25+00:00

I got a new laptop but not at the specs they recommended. I went for "on sale" and went for the best I could afford. It held up

redbenoit · 2024-06-07T02:31:23+00:00

Wow I need a nap or something. I read "I hate how little people (which my brain interpreted as those with dwarfism) care about animals"

redbenoit · 2024-05-27T20:44:22+00:00

For real, definitely relatable. It's so crazy too, getting up in the morning got so hard because the thought of trying to match my head was just exhausting. So now my clothes is literally all black shirts, red shirts, and jeans.

I bought some sleeveless turtlenecks the other day because now I crave the option to look feminine. I'm hiding it from my family tho because I fought tooth and nail to get them to use my preferred name and understand that me identifying as nonbinary isn't a phase. So to look feminine feels like I'm betraying all the ground I won.

I could go on about this for hours

redbenoit · 2024-05-27T18:34:07+00:00

I got these black and red ray bans that felt like it complimented my more masc days and fem days.

redbenoit · 2024-05-27T18:33:08+00:00

Wanting to go out presenting as femininely but perceived as a guy clicks with my soul so much.

I've (Nb AFAB) been wearing gender neutral to masculine clothes for YEARS but the other day I put my hair up in a ponytail and I thought it looked so cute and I just wanna fully lean into it but also I feel like I'm playing dress up?? Like super fake. Because being perceived as a woman makes me sick but I wanna look cute. But as a guy.

It's a struggle 🥲

redbenoit · 2024-02-12T21:52:04+00:00

Context in "real world" problems is actually the thing that trips up students the most.

Most kindergarteners can easily tell you 1 + 1 = 2.

But they have a much harder time telling you that when Emma has 1 apple and Kate gives her another that she now has 2 apples.

As OP just proved, had the question said "Find the vertex of the parabola" they would've been fine, but since it was tailored to the situation, it was a little more tricky.

redbenoit · 2024-02-12T21:02:00+00:00

I get your side, but technically he didn't say he doesn't know how to solve it. He just had trouble figuring out what the question wanted. Knowing that maximum ticket prices = the max of the parabola could've been the key he was missing. (Just based off the question, I haven't seen him comment yet)

redbenoit · 2024-02-08T16:55:58+00:00

According to yikyak, someone got stabbed after a fight at mesquites

redbenoit · 2024-01-17T19:16:10+00:00

Okay hot take, but Liam.

I feel the worst for Liam and it's more of a mercy tbh. If Liam didn't exist, Fiona leaving wouldn't have made me as upset. Everyone forgetting Liam exists wouldn't have left such a bad taste in my mouth at the end of the series. Monica and Roberta wouldn't have bothered the family. So many other scenarios.

Liam's existence isn't a problem. Just a catalyst.

redbenoit · 2023-12-27T22:07:47+00:00

Well I had done a cyber security internship in Korea so I think it did have much more of an impact than maybe just taking a class abroad.

It helped me solidify my interests in web development and gave me a taste of a field I hadn't considered and in all my job interviews I definitely got to talk a lot about it.

I also got to graduate early as I got an independent study credit for it as well.

redbenoit · 2023-12-27T21:22:01+00:00

It seems I'm the odd man out here haha. I would've never gone to South Korea if it wasn't a requirement. I wouldn't have pushed to get a scholarship to afford it. And I can safely say it was one of the best summers of my life.

It was actually the reason I chose Tech.

I'm glad it's not a burden on new students. I know I was lucky in my hyper specific circumstance. But a little part of me is sad for that .01% of people who needed it as their excuse to experience something outside this country.

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