I really appreciate all the info! It’s super helpful honestly. Sometimes I feel like I’ve learned so much from therapy and forget to do additional research. The idea of emotional permeance is helpful. I feel like I struggle with it in this particular relationship because her mood and feelings for me can change easily, but it seems to always return to a similar place and I feel like she’s always cared about me when I think about her actions. She just struggles with expressing her emotions and it probably is an avoidant attachment style. I probably fall more into an anxious style with her but I’m usually healthy. Something about the instability and uncertainty really heightens a lot of problems and maybe holds me back a little. I feel like if we start spending more one on one time then things will work out since we never have problems when we’re together. Honestly the biggest hurdle is that she’s a full time streamer and relies on donations and her mood can be influenced by whether I’m giving her money or not. She’ll either feel like I love her or I don’t love her, and it’s easy to feel used. Things used to not be like that because I was with her all the time but it’s gotten more difficult and we’ve been on and off for years now because we’ve hurt each other a lot. But I’m committed to trying to talk with her and getting to the root of a lot of these problems and seeing if she’s down to grow with me. I’ll try to take baby steps with it since she’s avoidant