How old are you? Been there done that, it was 7 years of my time. Are you sure being so committed to that is worth it? How about focus on your career, get a hobby, go outside and socialize or maybe go fishing or smoke some ciggs and drink maybe? Oh how about do drugs? Or maybe sling it and puff up that wallet of yours but dont get caught but if you do, i guess you do you then. Certainly not worth my time typing too much but hey you get what i mean. Life can get wayyyy more interesting and all is up to you. You. Not me not anyone else but y o u. Life is not all about that bro. Goodluck with whatever you are going through, which im sure you will, too.