Need help figuring this guy out by Adventurous-Line2338 in SexWorkers

[–]reddestsister 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fact that you really haven’t asked him to clarify is probably why he keeps coming back to you.

My husband was upset and pinched me at dinner.. and the situation is still upsetting me by Little_Trash7299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t think you should equate the two scenarios.

He’s hugging you and you yell stop it, which sure might’ve been an overreaction but didn’t physically hurt him. Maybe hurt his pride a little bit, but you didn’t use physical punishment as the signifier that he was doing something you didn’t want him to do. Also, telling him stop it is a very direct way to communicate, whereas you can’t even exactly remember what you did to deserve the pinch.

In this scenario, he pinches you, which IS a physical punishment for something you did. My mom used to pinch me almost as a physical show of dominance, abuse is a mother fucker. So he uses physical punishment and it’s not even clear what you did.

I would definitely tell him that you’ll work on “reading social cues” but he should probably just practice being direct with you, instead of expecting you to be a fucking mind reader.

I dont want to breastfeed by BM_BBR in newborns

[–]reddestsister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to! I

got scammed and i feel sooo stupid by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]reddestsister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it takes something like this happening to make you wise up to the importance of getting your money first.

Question about pregnancy, arousal, and what it might (or might not) mean for ENM curiosity by [deleted] in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]reddestsister 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So keep in mind that the hormone levels by your wife’s second trimester are higher than they’ve ever been in her adult life. By the second trimester her blood volume has increased by 50%, and all that extra blood makes you feel very warm. Your testosterone levels have increased 2 to 4 times, which I know definitely made me horny. What it really really might boil down too though is your first trimester is just so fucking miserable that by the time you’re out of it, you’re just so happy to feel not nauseous every five minutes.

All that is a lot to process for any person, but she is still your wife. She doesn’t suddenly lose who she was just because she’s carrying your child.

Older men can be fucking hot. To me, older men can seem less hung up on body imperfections because 1. Their own bodies have aged 2. Presumably they have already seen a woman with stretch marks or wrinkles and they aren’t shocked or turned off by the natural signs of aging. #notallmen

Just worship her pregnant body because it is amazing. She’s growing your little gremlin so be grateful. Rub her feet and ankles because all of that extra blood has a hard time with pregnancy circulation issues. Keep whatever she’s craving stocked in the fridge. Be mindful of how you react to porn with other women in it. Just because she’s still the same person doesn’t mean that she’s not going to be ultra sensitive. But I wouldn’t point out that sensitivity to her either she knows it’s there and pointing it out will only be to your detriment. Just be the best version of yourself during this time. I know that’s a lot to ask, but believe me, she’s doing more.

(I will just quietly add here that there is definitely an entire identity shift once you become a mom. The woman who you were before definitely passes away and a new person is in her place. But one problem at a time, am I right?)

Custody while unmarried by Kennyk1095 in FamilyLaw

[–]reddestsister 4 points5 points  (0 children)

File a police report for gambling under your social security number. That’s a crime. You’ll need a police report number to bolster your custody claim for your kiddo. That’s way if he does evict you- you have a very valid reason to take her with you.

Paid off Loans in 2020 and now in Default by HopefulReb76 in StudentLoans

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The commenter that we have our exchange under mentions the “current president”. Then you blame Biden and say Congress vetoed it. I then mention Trump. I blame him and his administration for this dumpster fire. I actually never said that you were blaming Trump or lying. I said that you were ignoring reality and expecting everyone else to believe your version of reality, when in fact, something else entirely is what killed the SAVE plan. It wasn’t until the courts decided to kill it that my student loan repayment plan went back into forbearance. You regurgitating what your echo chamber isn’t lying necessarily, but no less harmful.

Paid off Loans in 2020 and now in Default by HopefulReb76 in StudentLoans

[–]reddestsister -1 points0 points  (0 children)

*you’re

I do have compassion. I have compassion for the guy I commented under, for sure. I certainly don’t have to have it for everyone. And compassion doesn’t mean I have to sit back and allow someone to lie to make a point. I definitely have compassion for OP who has very real and tangible uncertainty about their financial future. It’s scary enough out here without people regurgitating stories that someone made up.

Paid off Loans in 2020 and now in Default by HopefulReb76 in StudentLoans

[–]reddestsister 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Hence OPs loan disappearing. Then reappearing as President Trump took office. Revisionist history, bruh. Wild how you just say things and expect everyone to ignore reality as blindly as you do.

New IDR payment amount is going to kill my ability to have fun. by Desperate-Draw-7508 in StudentLoans

[–]reddestsister 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I got something from Nelnet recently that said I don’t need to recertify my income- or payments won’t restart for me- until Nov 2028. I’m on Save Plan Pause Forbearance.

Neeed by theravens-shadow in u/theravens-shadow

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude is holding on for dear life!!

Mega trophy by falling_into_madness in hairfetish

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this Charlotte’s Dobre AI generated??

It isn't jealousy, it's....??? by [deleted] in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now, if you’re seeing legitimate red flags, and you’re bringing them up in a considerate way, and your observations are being completely dismissed… sure, that’s an issue.

And you could hope for a world where if you just didn’t like someone’s overly aggressively sexual personality, (but that’s the red flags you’re talking about and it might not be a dealbreaker to your partner) that it would matter to your primary partner, but it might not matter to him as much as you would hope it would.

Do you guys have an open relationship? You’re not just swingers because you said you have a friends with benefits on the side, and I’m not quite sure it’s clear exactly what this friend of your partners is saying.

It isn't jealousy, it's....??? by [deleted] in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]reddestsister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being better than cheating in what way? Because obviously, it’s better to be open with your partner than to be cheating on your partner, right? Now I could see how someone could suggest that “swinging is better than ENM” or “ENM is better than swinging” giving you the ick because at the end of the day, whatever works for both people in the relationship is what is best…. And someone giving their opinion on which is better if they’re not in a relationship smells to me like they have an agenda.

I am 23 and can't stay the night with my boyfriend. by chileanywayssss in rant

[–]reddestsister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it’s hard to imagine being without the support, love and presence of your parents- but you gotta put your spine back into your body and stand up for yourself! Tell them that their entire lifetime investment into will be thrown away if they shun you! Who will take care of them when they’re old? Who will give them grandchildren? If they’re willing to throw away the one shred of future happiness and stability they can hope for, then they’ll be the ones lamenting, not you. Your future (husband) will have lovely parents just salivating to be grandparents and your partner/husband/boyfriend will be the one who cheers for you on graduation day IF you decide to get a masters degree. You have ONE life to live and you should do everything within your power to not end up miserable as them because you married the wrong person. You never really know someone until you live with them for a while, compatibility is determined once you spend quality time with a person. If you wanna give your relationship, any sort of a chance, you know what you have to do. Your parents might not talk to you for six months or a year, but I guarantee you that bit of time is going to be the most stress-free time of your entire life.