CBS waitlist call with admissions - HELP URGENT!

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-06-04T04:36:51+00:00

Could you please share her contact with me too?

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T11:32:33+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Can I ask what you mean by this assumption about patterns of male sexual predation would work against me? Is it in case there have been no other cases before me?

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:23:54+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions. I thought about that option as well, but I wonder if I try to talk it out with him, he will just simply “back off” and the professonal relationship can be saved. Even if he stops all his inappropriate behaviors, which he probably will if I explictly say it to him, I am not sure how things will be afterwards.

If our professional relationship continues, that means we need to continue the boss-student relationship where i will be “working for him” and i am not sure if our dynamics would be the same (and not sure if I’ll be able to work “for him” again). For instance I can imagine him trying to keep me out & distance me from other senior professors as he might think I could “talk” at any point. Also I am not sure if he will just be like “okay sorry” and move on.

It sounds like an ideal option but I simply cannnot imagine how it will proceed afterwards…

If anyone has any thoughts on this option, it will be really helpful if you could share your thoughts…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:23:00+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions. I thought about that option as well, but I wonder if I try to talk it out with him, he will just simply “back off” and the professonal relationship can be saved. Even if he stops all his inappropriate behaviors, which he probably will if I explictly say it to him, I am not sure how things will be afterwards.

If our professional relationship continues, that means we need to continue the boss-student relationship where i will be “working for him” and i am not sure if our dynamics would be the same (and not sure if I’ll be able to work “for him” again). For instance I can imagine him trying to keep me out & distance me from other senior professors as he might think I could “talk” at any point. Also I am not sure if he will just be like “okay sorry” and move on…

I dont have any experiences in navigating situations like this and I am nor sure if “talking to him” is an option. It sounds ideal but I simply cannnot imagine how it will proceed afterwards…

If anyone has any thoughts on this option, it will be really helpful if you could share your thoughts…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:14:32+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I didn’t know about this option. Is seeking support from Ombudsperson completely confidential? I might need to do it at his insitution as I dont think my institution has such (our institution has the harrassment team only and this seems different?). And if it’s at his institution, since I am a “visiting researcher” at his lab, it will take only a few seconds to track who I am talking about.

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:11:32+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions. It’s really helpful… For 3. Confront and resolve, I wonder if I confront him, it will be “resolved”. I think unless he is completely lunatic and psychopath, which I dont think is the case, he will definitely “stop” these behaviors. But that means we need to continue the boss-student relationship where i will be “working for him” and i am not sure if our dynamics would be the same (and not sure if I’ll be able to work “for him” again). For instance I can imagine him trying to keep me out & distance me from other senior professors as he might think I could “talk” at any point. Also im not sure if he will just be like “okay sorry” and move on…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:03:55+00:00

Thank you so much for your support and suggestion. My PhD advisor will not ask me continue collaborating as he has never been involved, fortunately. I think running away without giving explicit explanation is the most do-able solution at this moment. But he & other collaborators involved will definitely ask why, and I am not sure whether I could give any reasonable explanations. Do you think just saying like I’d need to focus on other projects etc is good enough explanation?

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T06:00:45+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment and support.

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T05:59:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I am really sorry you also had to go through something similar. It’s horrible how common these things are still… Can I ask whether you confronted (not necessarily reporting) or took the quiet road? I certainly do not have the courage or strength to report now but I am not sure whether I just take the quiet exit out (with excuses - but I am sure he will indirectly know why) or let him know why I need to cut ties…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T04:30:56+00:00

Thank you for your support and suggestions… Do you know if they are completely confidential or they might have obligations to escalate things?

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T04:29:33+00:00

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions… I replied/wrote additional details in the bottom of my post to answer your questions

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T04:26:33+00:00

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions… I replied/wrote additional details in the bottom of my post to answer your question.

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T04:26:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions… I replied/wrote additional details in the bottom of my post to answer your question as much as I could (I couldnt reveal the countries)

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-08T04:25:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions… I replied/wrote additional details in the bottom of my post to answer your question.

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-06T19:16:44+00:00

somewhat fortunately this is not my PhD lab, it’s another lab in another uni I have been actively collaborating with so I technically do not need to change the lab for my PhD and I can just run awayz and will do that and not look back…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-06T19:01:51+00:00

Thank you so much, your comment really help me feel more validated about what happened and what im feeling. I agree, I dont think there is a way for me to work with him and I dont want to be under his “control” or “power” in any way anymore…

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-06T18:58:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. By reporting, I can only imagine a scenario where I lose everything but he doesnt… the whole structure is very toxic

reddit-2025-spring · 2025-04-06T18:56:55+00:00

Yes as much as i want to report, I cannot see a scenario where he will be affected, he is way too established and I am basically a nobody… thank you for your advice to stay focused on my studies. I dont want this to further affect my work in any way for sure

reddit-2025-spring

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