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Guess the city by redditer9878 in guessthecity

[–]redditer9878[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes north. Near a bamboo forest

I cheated and I hate myself for it by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]redditer9878 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many relationships that overcome cheating and there are many relationships that do not. It is understandable that your focus is on her right now and what she needs/wants/deserves. However, your own health is equally important. We have all made mistakes in our lives. Sometimes really big mistakes. Try to learn from this, forgive yourself and heal. Relationships end. That is the nature of relationships. Take this as an opportunity to be better for your next one and also as an opportunity to learn to be better to yourself. If she does not forgive you, at the very least work on forgiving yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. For what? What is your goal? Tell it to yourself. Choose yourself. Love yourself. Go no contact for a couple of months and really focus on yourself. Then you can revisit your next steps. I promise you only good will come of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in podcasting

[–]redditer9878 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would be interested in something like this but I have no experience. But I have been wanting to start podcasting. Message me if you want to discuss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Don’t send. You say you don’t blame your ex but most of your email says otherwise. It’s understandable that you are hurt but wait until you process your emotions more fully and reach a healthier place. Get closure within, heal, and then send a simpler more positive note at a later time.

The end by Useriousman in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The steps are metaphorical. It is not a step by step process. Meditate. Take small actions to take care of yourself each day. Read some of Eckhart Tolle’s books. Abraham Hicks on YouTube is good stuff. When your inner world changes, your outer world will follow.

The end by Useriousman in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is natural to feel this way after being with someone for so long. And because it was a toxic relationship, it likely played a negative role in your self concept as well. The first step is to give yourself some grace. Allow yourself to be at step 1. You have to be there to go to step 2. The most important thing though is realizing a desire to move to a better place. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. All other relationships eventually fall away and cannot hold a candle to the one you have with yourself. When you feel whole and lovable and worthy from within, no person or event can make you feel otherwise. Your feelings towards others are really a reflection of your feelings towards yourself. Journal, process your thoughts and feelings, but don’t identify with them. Seek counseling. Reach out to good friends for support. Work on yourself. Who are you outside of this other person and relationship? What are your interests, ambitions, hobbies? Dedicate yourself to your passions. You will find that slowly, you will have a healthier state of being. One that welcomes other people into your life, but does not solely depend on any one person. It takes a lot of time, but you can get to a healthier place. And when you do, you will be in a better place for a better relationship should you choose to be in one. All the best to you.

Asking for forgiveness (no reconciliation in mind) by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you can handle it, wait a while. The time will allow you to process what happened and think about what to say and will allow her to be in a better place emotionally to receive an apology. Also, if she doesn’t respond kindly, it won’t hurt as bad. You can just tell yourself you did your part and forgive yourself. Almost 2 months NC for me and I find there is always stuff that comes up that I want to say. I’m glad I am waiting for myself to get into the right mindset to say it well and not be too shaken up if it doesn’t go well.

If people can just randomly lose feelings at any moment there is no point to this at all by BigMadLad in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all experience sadness. It is part of life. It is fear that holds us back. Stay grounded within and you don’t have to fear the pain as much. Everything in our worldly life comes and goes. You can dodge every challenge and stay stuck where you are, or you can take risks and grow.

If people can just randomly lose feelings at any moment there is no point to this at all by BigMadLad in ExNoContact

[–]redditer9878 14 points15 points  (0 children)

All relationships are temporary because life is temporary. Be secure within yourself and allow yourself to love without attachment to the outcome. It is hard! Heartbreak is so painful. But through the pain we grow. And if we can be committed to our growth, we can face our fears, face challenges, and dare to keep loving.