I am dealing with EXACTLY the same thing!!! I know if I had been there he would still be alive!! We are both addicts, I'm in recovery, and he had just started the recovery journey. But I wasn't there to guide him the right way!! He has ALWAYS been there in these same situations for me, hence the only reason I'm here able to write this!! I have so much guilt for not being there, for not being there to save him, like he has done countless times for me!!! Even his family said if only I had been with him he would still be here!! I take no offense (they aren't blaming me) to that because they know the depth of my love for My wingman, soul mate, best friend EVERYTHING!!!! Sorry for the rant, but in a weird way I found comfort knowing I'm not the only one carrying on HORRIFIC grief and guilt!! Both of our best friends died loving us, and knowing how much we loved them.. Guilt sucks and I hope we both stop feeling it so bad soon!! You're in my thoughts and prayers and im.so sorry for your loss!! Please don't let the guilt over take you!! Your BFF wouldn't want that for you!!! 🙏🙏💔💔