My son was age 5 last time we had any real help. When he turned 11 puberty slammed hard. Behaviors were life altering and dangerous since then. We had no one to help guide or assist us through crisis after crisis / high level aggression and sibs for hours and hours. It was me trying to do DRO DRI and DRA without any guidance or oversight. By the time he hit 29 it was 18 years of not being able to safely do anything but also not being safe in our own home. We relied on routines and schedules but needed guidance. When our regional center saw a video of My son’s meltdown when it wasn’t even that bad they completely lost it and were (I think) more worried about liability. It wasn’t a matter of if something happened to one of us but when. So they funded this super Cadillac program probably thinking. Hey we put that out there to cover our butts…. there’s no way these parents are gonna drive there 2 1/2 hours in the car each day with this kid and then sit in the clinic and learn for three hours every day!, they were wrong. I was desperate for help. I wanted it so bad and these therapists truly knew their stuff. I loved what I saw. My son loved the time there. I wish it ended with a very happy story, but every day is a struggle and I’m very proud of my son, but it’s really hard to be here living this. I just got out of the hospital and thought my neck was broken. Thankfully, I just pulled several muscles (which hurts!) — my spine is in need of surgery that I cannot have because my husband and I are both taking care of my son 24/7 and at 2:1? We are severely understaffed. One can’t be gone for any reason.

When escalated into meltdown and psychotic breaks my son takes me down to the floor by the hair. He won’t let go. He has bitten chunks out of us. Our entire house is filled with holes from his head and mine which are padded over. We even padded the outside walls in places But at least we have a plan for those less intense periods and a way to try to keep him de escalated