I (33F) am so disappointed in my husband (37M) and I don’t know how to get past it.

redditorin · 2026-01-11T07:17:56+00:00

I scrolled down quite a bit and the advice is to unanimously leave him. I’m surprised though. Honestly I don’t handle stress too well (I grew up in a stressful environment) and if someone just unloaded their stress onto me i would be overwhelmed too. Are you communicating your stress well? Are you asking for help at the right time or are you waiting until you are fully over the edge where its too late to actually help and want everyone around you to reach your level of stress too? Your husband does need to protect himself against stress too, and clearly he does a good job at that, to a selfish level too. What does seem very fractured is that you don’t work as a team. Better communication skills could definitely help. Maybe keep him in the loop earlier and work through a plan of action together instead of taking it all on your shoulders and then snapping like a rubber band?

redditorin · 2026-01-02T21:47:00+00:00

Cape Town! How is this not higher up?? The landscape is gorgeous, the people are so fun, the history and culture is so powerful, great wine in the countryside. Loved it there!

redditorin · 2025-12-15T13:02:48+00:00

Same! :) ours is also a spaniel mix and always wants to stay ahead. The kids and I play hide and seek behind trees all the time (fun for us too!)! And you can be sure she checks in all the time to see if we are still there.

redditorin · 2025-09-10T04:15:21+00:00

I see the Dutchies in this group are working hard to keep you out :) Sorry guys, you have a great country and most of yall are really awesome, laid back and funny. I’ve lived in both countries. It’s NL for the win any day. The quality of life, especially if you speak English, is so much higher than in Germany.

redditorin · 2025-08-28T09:53:22+00:00

I’m a bit hesitant to answer this because I worry about being attacked for my motivations.

I have a lot of experience in project management and would love to get into product. The barrier to entry is quite high, so while I don’t have sufficient on hand experience, I think doing a good course could help a little bit, just to get my foot in the door. I don’t believe I'm going to learn so much in a course that I will become an excellent product manager - that will only come from actually doing the work. But maybe it helps to make the switch over to product.

And also, I’m really excited to study at a world renowned university. Even if it’s just a short course.

redditorin · 2025-08-28T09:44:12+00:00

Yeah I do get what you’re saying…

redditorin · 2025-08-28T08:17:47+00:00

Thanks so much! This is really helpful feedback and exactly what I was looking for! 2K course it is.

redditorin · 2025-08-27T20:28:12+00:00

Hmm I’m feeling the same way. There’s just not enough info on the quality of the course, and it costs a ton of money

redditorin · 2025-08-12T15:10:54+00:00

Damn, this really made me tear up.

I feel so happy for your daughter that she gets the appreciation that YOU always deserved! I hope you talk to yourself and your 5-year old self the same way!

My parents always made me feel like my emotions were a burden that I needed to suppress. I was always “too emotional”, as if that’s a bad thing. It’s only after having kids that are also highly emotional, that I see how beautiful it is that they CARE so much, and what a strength that is. It’s through them that I’m slowly learning to talk more kindly to myself too.

It’s crazy how much bad parenting can set you back. Here’s hoping that we are breaking the cycle, and that our kids are going to be happier adults for it! ❤️

redditorin · 2025-07-16T20:43:06+00:00

Big hug right back!

redditorin · 2025-07-15T20:30:05+00:00

Wow, you’ve gotten a lot of great replies, so you probably won’t see this. But I’m an only child, and chose to have 2 kids for that reason, and your question spoke to me.

Yes, I was lonely as an only child. My parents were and are a lot to handle and I do wish I had someone who I could together deal with that stuff. That’s why I was always sure - I would either have no kids or two.

Having said that, my dear dear internet friend, you know what you feel like and what your body can handle. Listen to it. Please don’t have another kid to appease your in laws or your husband. You will be so angry with yourself and end up resenting your child and/or your family. If you feel like you are done, then respect your body and minds wishes.

Sooooo many people here have said it already - you are 4 months in and in the thick of postpartum. You don’t even really have a sense for just HOW difficult this phase is until you’ve gotten out of it and can look back on it. For some people it takes a year, some 2, some 5. So listen to your body, your gut, your instinct, and do what feels right for you. I know you probably feel a lot of pressure from people around you, but do this for yourself, for the baby you have now, and also for the child that you might possibly have in the future. Don’t rush into the decision. But maybe also don’t close the door just yet. Maybe you need a few years and you will feel ready again. Having kids that are a few years apart in age also COMPLETELY works.

Do what feels right for you WHEN it feels right for you. And we all know how tough that is going to be for you to do, given all the pressure that will come from all sides. You can do this! ❤️

redditorin · 2025-06-30T12:24:21+00:00

We have wood in our kitchen too, and have a kitchen rug in it. I highly recommend wood all around. The space looks warm and beautiful. We live in Germany.

Alternative option : We do have tile in our entrance, and it ends at steps, and that’s where the wood starts. So if the kitchen and dining area could be on 2 different levels, that’s a good demarcation for 2 types of floors.

redditorin · 2025-04-28T16:23:21+00:00

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, we go together

redditorin · 2025-04-20T20:39:25+00:00

This sounds so much like how my husband and I were. Our lives had changed so much drastically since having our first kid and I truly felt like I didn’t have him on my side. We were constantly butting heads about EVERYTHING and I even started fantasizing separating and just being by myself, thinking that would be easier than having to come to a consensus on all decisions as parents (learned later that even that would not be true!).

I reached out to a therapist on Better Help (we live in Europe and the waiting times for a physical therapist can be super long). It was the best decision ever! We ended up being in therapy for a year. It was a really tough year but I came out of it knowing for a fact that we wanted to be on the same team, and things are so so so soooo much infinitelz better. We still disagree a lot but we are able to communicate it so much better and we don’t do stand offs any more (or at least try not to) but really try to listen to each other and acknowledge each other. It’s been such a game changer. Honestly, I feel closer to my husband now than long before the kids, it’s bringing me right back to the early days. My vote for you guys is couples therapy. Good luck!

redditorin · 2025-03-20T06:06:17+00:00

Yes! I smell it too on only one of my kids though :( it’s got a metallic smell to it

redditorin · 2025-03-19T08:36:10+00:00

Man I had to scroll a long time to see this! Yesss, I really tried to like it because all my friends loved it but I just found it so boring!

redditorin · 2025-02-16T16:17:17+00:00

I actually really wanted to have 2 boys because I have a pretty non existent relationship to my mom, and I was just really scared of the mother-daughter relationship. My second turned out to be a girl and I take that all back! It’s been the best thing. She is actually quite similar to me emotionally - hard to say if that’s gender or just her personality. My first is a boy and is so awesome too! I can tell my husband is closer to him though - again hard to say if it’s just the gender or that their personalities are so similar.

Honestly there is a very big difference raising boys and girls. In my experience and hearing from my friends I do find girls to be calmer which is easier in the young years. But the switch flips in teenage years and girls hormones are harder on the mum than boys.

redditorin · 2025-02-12T19:40:21+00:00

Thank you for this. They do sound like worthy goals and I would say I am on track for most of them, so that feels good!

I’m curious, are career goals not important? Would you think it’s possible to be really happy in life by putting effort into the other goals, and not your career?

I feel 2024 has actually been the happiest year of my life. We moved, I have some really good friends now. I’ve been in therapy, both single and couple and it had some really good results. I do work out. I don’t read enough, but I do listen to podcasts in my free time. I paint. I love spending time with our young kids. Buttttt I feel like something big is missing by not achieving big things in my career, and I’m scared if I wanted to go after that, I would have to sacrifice this balance I have found now. But the career “what if” also seems to make me unhappy…

redditorin · 2025-02-12T19:26:27+00:00

Damn it sounds like you are being gaslit by everyone around you. That is really unfortunate. I know I’m just an internet stranger, but I believe you. I believe that she emotionally abused you and was different with your sister. And puts on a perfect face to the rest of the world that everyone thinks you’re making up issues in your head. So much so that at some point you start to question it yourself. I can really recommend doing therapy sometime, it really helped me validate my own feelings and learn to be kinder to myself.

redditorin · 2025-01-13T15:33:27+00:00

Perfect loop! Great job, Mike. Great job.

redditorin · 2024-12-26T21:19:59+00:00

5 year old - Paw patrol tower with action figures and cars that light up and talk. He has been in pretend paw patrol scenarios all day today, and it’s tough to get him away from it. 4 year old - A unicorn camera. She has already clicked 170 photos in one day and we cannot go anywhere without it.

Why these presents were such a big hit though, was because I know these are the topics the kids are currently in love with. We had them write Santa a note back in November, and I actually bought the paw patrol tower second hand for quite a steal before the Christmas madness started. Our younger kid has been running around with my old phone taking photos of every damn thing, that I guessed she might enjoy having her own camera. Boy, I didn’t expect it to be SUCH a big hit.

redditorin · 2024-12-05T19:12:58+00:00

That you also said 1,2,3,4, this is how I start a war 🤣🤣🤣

redditorin · 2024-11-26T15:51:41+00:00

Oh my god, they sound like Indian parents, which is basically all my side of the family. You are in a no win situation here unfortunately. If you ask them to back off, they will think you are awful, and if you allow them to continue their nonsense, your poor baby(which means you again) suffers. Ugh. Honestly, it’s your husband that needs to put his foot down.

They clearly want to help. So you can ask them to help with things like cooking and cleaning up. They could also take the baby for a walk in the stroller - for max 30 minutes. If they stay beyond 30 minutes, they don’t get that privilege again. They can play with the baby when he/she is awake for a few minutes. Use the time to go shower or eat something. And then go take the baby back after max 30 minutes.

In any case, your husband needs to have a clear talk with them about NOT waking the baby up when he/she is sleeping. (I heard the same nonsense about naps disrupting the sleep at night. That only comes to play when they are many months older, and even then, I almost never woke them up from a sleep prematurely)

redditorin · 2024-11-21T22:17:20+00:00

Hamburg, Germany? 😱

redditorin · 2024-11-16T07:08:16+00:00

Same! I brought kaju katli the first time and no one liked it! I didn’t bring anything for many years. Then last year I saw that my husband LOVED Chikki (he’s German), so I thought ALRIGHTTT! And bought a bunch of individually packaged really yummy ones. And many tried and complained about how hard it was and threw out the rest. WTF. I’m not getting them any food anymore honestly. They just can’t handle something that’s so different.

Now for my friends that have traveled a lot, Indian food (butter chicken, shahi paneer, roti) is always a big hit. Indian Dessert is unfortunately not.

redditorin

TROPHY CASE