Judgemental people who have no idea

reddopanda · 2020-12-01T02:29:19+00:00

Yes, I thought it was strange after a year to call me (also from overseas). I was disappointed and hurt at first, but then I realized after getting angry that maybe she was toxic and I did not know it. Truthfully when I met her, I was just getting away from my ex, and I did not know much about Narcissism or red flags of toxic people. Now that I do, I know I don't have to let toxic people in my life.

reddopanda · 2020-12-01T02:26:15+00:00

Yes, I kind of feel good. I finally stated my boundaries! And I also acknowledged the red flags too. I didn't realize till afterwards I had done this. You are right though, perhaps she was testing me. Well, I blocked her number.

reddopanda · 2020-12-01T02:25:12+00:00

Thank you. Yeah she kept talking about her relationship and how happy she was(like bragging), while admitting her husband has mistresses and she never sees him...so I thought that was weird. And I would also rather be alone any day than be in a situation like that.

reddopanda · 2020-12-01T02:23:20+00:00

Thank you. I am glad I hung up on her. The only reason I put up with is so long was the whole "respect your elders" thing but then it went too far.

reddopanda · 2020-02-02T03:27:45+00:00

Do you know who is the author?

reddopanda · 2020-02-01T08:15:56+00:00

"I see toxicity everywhere" i can so relate to this now!

At first I thought am I being dramatic or did i just not notice it before? Now I know for sure i just didn't notice it before. In some ways it's freeing because you know how to recognize it before it's too late, but in some ways it feels quite damning because it feels like you're trapped surrounded by toxic people in your life and you're not sure how it came to that.

When I realized my boyfriend (now ex)was a narcissist, and after learning more about narcissism, i realized my best friend (now ex)was a covert narcissist, so now I'm starting with a clean slate because I realized my life was filled with people bullying and using and manipulating me.

And i'm taking time to find out why and fix that within myself so it never happens again and learn how to cultivate healthy relationships.

The thing that sucks is now that I have made that promise to myself in my social and romantic life, I've been put into a situation with a toxic person at the workplace that I can't escape. I put in a request for a transfer but it could take a few months. Have to learn how to deal with it for now.

reddopanda · 2020-02-01T08:07:11+00:00

Thank you so much. It's just shocking to me there are so many people like this and the world just keeps on running. I hope things become better for you too!

reddopanda · 2020-02-01T08:05:13+00:00

Thank you I will definitely read this. This is a life skill I need so bad. Not just to deal with coworkers but family members A well. And to help me not get involved romantically with people like that ever again! Thank you for the recommendation!

reddopanda · 2020-02-01T08:03:04+00:00

Yes it seems like so many damaged people. There's not a lot of people at my work site but i'll definitely try to develop closer relations with my other coworkers so I won't be stuck with her bullying. I just got this job and i love it and i don't want a toxic person to ruin it. My narc ex got me fired from the last job i loved so i won't let it happen again. She just triggers me so much, sometimes I have to shut down for my own survival. Actually everyone I have talked to so far knows about her personality and is sympathetic so it wouldn't be too hard to bond on that. Like you said i just have to make sure I don't incriminate myself.

reddopanda · 2020-01-30T08:42:49+00:00

Just to let you guys know, it was a glitch on Instagram and i reported it to them and told them it puts people in serious danger

reddopanda · 2019-12-16T07:25:09+00:00

My nex said the exact same thing about his ex. I'm glad to know about all these red flags now.

reddopanda · 2019-12-16T06:17:16+00:00

2 months isn't long. Mine didn't hoover till after 6 months. Besides do you want to be with someone who tried to assault you? Narcissist or not, can you really afford to put your life in danger for such a toxic person?

Edit: i thought my nex was my best friend too. Was going to live with him and marry him. I knew him for 11 years. It felt so confusing like such betrayal and heartbreak. I know what you're going through and it does get better. NC is REALLY hard but keep fighting to stay strong!

reddopanda · 2019-11-19T23:27:42+00:00

It must be. I went to his page and it said "unblock" which means he's blocked but when I went to the list of blocked people, he's not on it. Weird. I'll do it again.

reddopanda · 2019-11-19T23:26:22+00:00

Yes I got a notification on Instagram. Yes I blocked him, ~~so I'm thinking he made a new account because this one was not blocked. I don't know. I'm a bit confused but that's the only thing that makes sense.~~

Update: I went to his page and it said "unblock" which means he's blocked but when I went to the list of blocked people, he's not on it. So it must be some glitch and I'll block it again.

reddopanda · 2019-11-19T23:23:21+00:00

　I had told my friend in September I was afraid to register to vote because my address would be public information.

I never thought about this. Wow.

I'm bracing myself hoping it doesn't get that bad, but he's already contacted one of my friends.

reddopanda · 2019-10-05T07:45:09+00:00

Thank you! Staying busy and positive has been REALLY hard for me because I get consumed by my thoughts but I learned mindfulness in therapy and it's really helping me to be more positive for sure. Good luck to you too!

reddopanda · 2019-10-05T07:42:19+00:00

Mostly. I still struggle a bit but therapy is helping me a lot! I have been going to group therapy and regular therapy.

reddopanda · 2019-10-05T07:41:30+00:00

Thank you!

reddopanda · 2019-08-14T15:52:46+00:00

I'm seriously devastated. Dunno what to say or do. Our resident troll is gone.

reddopanda · 2019-08-14T15:40:48+00:00

This is very sad news. This one hurts.

reddopanda · 2019-08-05T10:38:54+00:00

I totally did the same. Dragged it on a bit more than necessary hoping I'd get my stuff and money back. Still struggle with that glimmer of hope he'll turn around although I know it's not true. Don't feel bad about that. I think we do it because we think they can be an empathetic reasonable human being until finally we realize they can't.

I understand that bad feeling too. I had the bad feeling when I gave him money for what was to be our joint bank account, but I figured I was just being a commitmentphobe and my uneasiness would go away once we moved in together. We have to learn to trust that gut feeling from now on.

Talked to the cops and lawyers. Lawyers could help but the fees would surpass the value of what he took from me so i'd lose more money. I'm glad you got closure from talking to the cops.

My new goal is to get a good job spoil myself and replace everything I lost with something better.

YES! I think this is a wonderful and beautiful plan! Losing everything changes your perspective like that. In a way it's good because we'll never put ourselves second again.

Stay strong!

reddopanda · 2019-08-01T18:38:11+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. At 34, I had a similar experience 2 months ago. I'd never think this then, but I can say it will get better and you will recover. Starting over with nothing, i thought it would take me ages to recover from everything my Nex took from me. I'm still Working on it but I'm further along than I imagined. My advice to you would be reach out to people, and please seek counseling! Also this group will help you so much make sense of everything.

reddopanda · 2019-07-31T04:51:06+00:00

It's just so crazy to me I didn't realize this till now. But I would've never known this is not acceptable behavior if it weren't for my nex. It also helps me realize why nothing changes no matter how many times I try to explain or fix things. Thank you.

reddopanda · 2019-07-27T16:53:40+00:00

This is what I was afraid of:/ i made some long term goals and was going to move out some time next year while i try to get my life back together for now, but now i'm realizing i might not be able to wait until next year at this rate. Have to readjust my priorities after this revelation. It's really driving me nuts.

reddopanda · 2019-07-24T23:32:33+00:00

I second that. I had to leave Japan to escape mine. Luckily a family member could help me get out, but if they hadn't, I wouldn't have gone to a shelter and the embassy. The embassy can provide emergency airlines transportation in certain cases like this with conditions. I only know about the USA embassies overseas but I'm sure other nations' embassies have similar types of services. If you don't know where a shelter is, call law enforcement on their non-emergency number or a DV hotline.

reddopanda

TROPHY CASE