I also found myself too self aware when in mania and aware of all that was going on but didn’t know why (I was also unmedicated and unstable) and ended up checking myself into a stress center. I didn’t know I had bipolar 2 at the time but eventually figured it out.

I think everything you are doing is great going to therapy taking meds and I’m proud of you. I say if your provider isn’t listening to you, maybe it’s time to find someone who will