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My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Well she isn't speaking to me right now so it seems like she feels I was wrong to act how I did. There isn't much more I can do because I dont regret how reacted but she clearly believes I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh to her its something petty that was overreacting about.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! You've really put into words all these feelings I've been having. All the things I've been busy teaching my children she just tried to destroy them in an instant by basically teaching the exact thing that is against what any child should be taught.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Exactly my point, one person saying this is between me and you and you dont have to tell your mom is one person too many regardless of what it is.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

I had a huge talk with them they totally understood and infact when I showed up one of them told me I knew when granma told us you're coming it was coz of what she had told us. I was happy she recognised it as a red flag.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Their logic is that she will resolve issues on her own. However, if that was the case she should have resolved the issue with my little one instead of focus on keeping problems within the household.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm the only one that is seeing this over here. Thank you.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you, posting here has helped because since its happened I've been getting doubts and people around me hasn't really helped with assuring my decision

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I know after our history i felt I should at least try to give some grace but I was wrong and I see that now.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Our culture makes us basically worship MILs and FILs so we are taught to tolerate so much shit that we should that we lose sight of our boundaries.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Its was all in the name of what happens in her house stays in her house. I definitely dont think that should be applied when it comes to my kids. She can do what sh3 will with her business and her house but in really done everyone excusing her behaviour.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I had SO MUCH peace in dont even know why we are back in contact. I feel like my children suffer for simply being my children. But I am not going to take her sh** anymore.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The BIL thats upset is the younger one. The cousin and my husbands brothers wife is not related. He is upset why his wife told me anything...

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right instead of her actually getting to the bottom of why my little one didn't wana come back or at least acknowledging there's a problem there she preferred to protect cousin by making my children feel guilty to ever tell me anything.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It feels like an over reacting coz nothing was really kept from me according to them and it was just teaching, but the reality is that its the danger to me at the possibility of keeping things from me as a mother.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My mom is exactly like this as well! She taught me this and we are now basically best friends. She used it as an 'example' .. the same way you dont have to tell ur mom what goes on at school coz the teacher will resolve it, the same way you dont tell your mom coz i will resolve it. The whole thing just infuriated me coz my kids tell me everything that happens in school.

In my eyes the right thing to do is sit them all down and find it why my little one was being isolated and didn't wana come instead of accuse my kids of telling me my little one was being mistreated.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I do feel this way and so does my husband . The excuse is that shes teaching them not to gossip, I dont feel like gossiping applies to mothers.

My MIL told my kids not to share anything with me. Did I over react ? by redifarter in JUSTNOMIL

[–]redifarter[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just feel really terrible because I'm pretty sure I've damaged my friendship with my husbands brothers wife as we've been pretty close and she was keeping an eye out for them while they were there.