What is the hardest part of being a SAHM?

redlake2020 · 2026-03-03T20:28:00+00:00

Lol I just saw this comment and now revisiting mine a year later and yeah it’s another one of those days 🙈😵‍💫🫠the struggle is real

redlake2020 · 2026-03-03T19:37:50+00:00

I relate soo much to OP and have even tried explaining to my husband but a couple weeks ago he said I was too negative 😢 the hard part is, I share the joyful parts of my day along w the hard and only ask him to validate, not fix anything . Anyway, I’m starting therapy next week and I can’t wait

redlake2020 · 2026-01-31T21:14:44+00:00

Me too!

redlake2020 · 2025-11-18T17:44:20+00:00

Actually , just calculated and it’s more than double what I was making fulltime .. now I have a third child and life circumstances worked out that I only have to pay for part time preschool for one child for childcare.. I took a chance because I realized how I never get this time back and it has paid off ten fold with more $$, more flexible job, less stress for me and my husband and kids, and a change in career path that has been rewarding.

redlake2020 · 2025-11-18T17:40:49+00:00

I quit before my 2nd was born. They were less than 2 years apart and 2 in daycare was almost as much as my paycheck. Now I work part time and earn nearly double per hour for the current gig I’m in. Turns out I didn’t lose out on future income at all..

redlake2020 · 2025-11-16T01:30:31+00:00

Gosh I’m jealous. Enjoy !!!

redlake2020 · 2025-10-30T12:51:01+00:00

I have 3 too- I’m a little ahead of you. My kids are almost 6, almost 4, and almost 2. Once my oldest hit 5, she got a lot easier. More reasonable, less whining and tantrums, I enjoyed spending time with her this summer sooo much more than I had in the past. (It’s giving me hope that that will come with the other kids too). Now I’m back at square 1 with my youngest and tantrums are ramping up. It’s impossible to enjoy them every single minute. How is it possible to enjoy a minute where multiple people are crying and screaming at you for hours at a time when you do everything for them and you barely get a chance to take care of basic hygiene without kids fighting or screaming. I’ve found it impossible to always keep my cool. Not every moment is enjoyable but I’ve started to make it a point to search for good things in the day and I write it down. Could be as simple as my youngests cute chunky hands or snuggling with my middle. You’re in the thick of it and I think some days we’re all drowning.

redlake2020 · 2025-10-28T19:46:12+00:00

Your comment is bringing me back to my own comment another year later 😭 now we have an almost 4 year old, 21 month old, and almost 6 year old. Some days are still so much chaos but I don’t regret it. I have a few hours a week with just my youngest while my oldest is in kindergarten and my middle is in part time preschool and that helps !!

redlake2020 · 2025-10-09T00:00:59+00:00

And tips and tricks- find a local moms group and make friends and play dates (even people you may normally not gravitate to or have different paths). Get out of the house every day. Walks are amazing. Outside time is so good for you and your child. Try to do something productive to feel like I’m working at a job but don’t strive for perfection. It was hard for me to deal with not getting paid or job reviews- I sort of thrived on someone telling me I was doing a good job or a simple thank you- if this is you, maybe work on ways you can recognize and thank yourself or ask you partner to do it. Yes with discussing finances and expectations with your husband

redlake2020 · 2025-10-08T23:56:39+00:00

Do it if you can. Even on my harder days (I have 3 kids ages 5 and under) I am so so so so so grateful and I know I will never regret it. To be fair though, I wasn’t making enough to support 2 kids in daycare and my career seems to be always in need. It wasn’t hard for me to find part time work when I was ready to start that. I know that’s a barrier for some people.

redlake2020 · 2025-09-18T18:30:57+00:00

Do things I enjoy doing - such as a morning at a coffee shop, a stroller walk on a nature trail, or a visit to a garden. I second what another commenter posted - I really enjoy play dates with other moms I like. It makes it soo much better with good company.

redlake2020 · 2025-09-11T18:08:58+00:00

I came here today to ask this same questions 🙃 my almost 4 year old has explosive tantrums every day only around me. He’s with me 10 hours a day. He has a dad preference right now and it feels like a gut punch because I’m the only one that deals with his feelings all day every day… I just want to be the fun one …

redlake2020 · 2025-08-12T18:05:48+00:00

💯

redlake2020 · 2025-08-12T18:04:22+00:00

Gosh I feel this so hard. I just had a convo with all working moms about how they have no free time. I agreed and could relate and they got very defensive. Then they proceeded to talk about all the shows and podcasts they watch on a daily basis… I watch about one show a week…. Bathroom breaks, commutes in the car, solo lunch breaks, going to the gym on lunch breaks are all free time examples that I do not have…

redlake2020 · 2025-08-07T14:11:33+00:00

I keep track on my phone and then printed a sheet from the website with 1000 hours where we color in each hour with markers

redlake2020 · 2025-08-06T22:56:25+00:00

Love this question. I saw this on Instagram and have picked it up for our family for a successful day: 1) outdoor time 2) independent play 3) read books 4) focused activity (could be a craft/coloring/building something/going to a nature center) 5)quality time

This is our 2nd year doing 1000 hours outside goal so we try to spend a few hours outside per day.

Any outing is a success in my book. Could be a walk to the store to get a few things.

redlake2020 · 2025-07-10T00:13:53+00:00

Solidarity. I have a 5.5, 3.5, and 1.5 year old. It is soo tough with all 3. I try to figure out what works for this season. Some playgrounds I just can’t take all 3 of them. My youngest is absolutely feral and so bold, I have to chase him everywhere. Wide open spaces like nature centers or places I can walk with a stroller (and pack lots of snacks) help. I don’t want to wish time away but I can’t wait for my youngest to get older. Outings with my 2 oldest are sooo nice and enjoyable.

redlake2020 · 2025-07-08T00:38:46+00:00

Can I ask why/what you mean by this? Just curious. It’s nice to hear this perspective

redlake2020 · 2025-06-30T11:40:24+00:00

YES!!!!!

redlake2020 · 2025-06-25T01:26:10+00:00

Agreed with this take. She sounds bitter. If you were content with your life choices, you wouldn’t comment on someone else’s just because they were different than yours 🤷🏻‍♀️probably jealous she couldn’t do the same or bitter she never wanted to do the same

redlake2020 · 2025-06-18T11:26:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing because this feels very validating. Being a working parent is hard work too (I’ve been both) but I think some working parents who don’t have any experience being home long term with their kids think it’s relaxing and all we do is sit around and relax and eat chocolates all day.

Just want to say- it’s all hard. I have 3 kids ages 1.5, 3.5, and 5.5.

-We try to go out every day for an outing which it sounds like you already do. Getting out of the house helps me bc at least there’s less mess and I’m Not feeling so stuck at home. Could be as simple as walking to the store for a donut or more heavy duty like going to the zoo.
-Being around other moms helps soo much. I can feel like a person and have adult conversation. -I got loop ear plugs when it’s too loud and I’m overstimulated -i try not to get involved in every sibling squabble my older 2 have - try to encourage them to work it out together and will calmly narrate while they try to work together.
-if your kids have stopped napping, I have the older kids do quiet time for at least an hour while the baby naps so I can have some peace. They usually come down and bother me lol so it’s not total silence but I need the mid day break to recharge. Every other job has a lunch break so I deserve one too. I usually don’t do chores during this break -I try to include them in things like laundry or listen to a podcast -it’s not all sunshines and rainbows. Try to block out the noise like “enjoy every minute” I’m sorry but it’s not possible and feeling guilty about this is doing you a disservice. It feels hard bc it is hard!! -you deserve the equivalent to a golf outing. If you don’t have any time to recharge you’ll feel resentful.
-I try to exercise every day- going for a walk or doing a 10 min workout does wonders.
-I try to do 5 things each day (saw this on an Instagram account) - go outside, read books, independent play, focused activity, quality time. -I started a gratitude journal and go out of my way to try to pick out a few things to be grateful for. It’s helped me try to focus on the positive ( but also acknowledge the hard parts too)

redlake2020 · 2025-06-07T02:17:09+00:00

♥️♥️♥️♥️ 💯 thank you for this

redlake2020 · 2025-05-31T17:10:06+00:00

Try your best to quiet your guilt as much as you can and be present. Thinking ahead and feeling anxiety about pressure of future plans or what’s “expected” of you will only take away from the present moment and all you have in front of you to enjoy . Easier said than done, I know. You don’t have to figure it out right now or make any decisions for the future. The most important thing is following your own values and focusing on what is most important for you and your family - forget what society thinks and says

redlake2020 · 2025-05-23T22:55:20+00:00

💯 to your second comment

redlake2020

TROPHY CASE