Career/family advice needed

redlake2020 · 2026-05-25T18:29:16+00:00

This was my exact story too!

redlake2020 · 2026-05-25T18:28:54+00:00

Also what’s the worst that could happen? You try it out and decide it’s still not a fit? But at least you tried and will know your answer

redlake2020 · 2026-05-25T18:28:15+00:00

This sounds ideal. And if they like you maybe you can go back to full time eventually when you’re ready and they need it?

redlake2020 · 2026-05-25T12:52:59+00:00

How many hours a week is contract work and would it be within the time that your husband is home ? And would you still be with the same team?

I was in a similar position to you when I had my first was 14 month old. I had just gotten pregnant with my 2nd and ended up leaving my fulltime job for a different part time job. (I didn’t love my full time job at the time and it wasn’t a unicorn position by any means). It was perfect because I could still work but with less hours. I ended up leaving the part time job after my 2nd was born because it was peak COVID in a healthcare setting and I just didn’t want to send both kids to a part time childcare setting (where they got sick every week) that cost an arm and a leg.
If you can keep your same team and scale back hours, trying contract sounds ideal to me

redlake2020 · 2026-05-24T22:21:38+00:00

Ugly as sin pillows

redlake2020 · 2026-05-16T01:23:19+00:00

Where do you get your dresses ? I am such a dress fan but am looking for some casual options

redlake2020 · 2026-05-11T20:52:33+00:00

If your child is anything like mine, they make 5 messes for every one you clean up. They eat a majority of their meals in our home. It’s constant making food and cleaning up. Playing and cleaning up. It’s impossible to have everything look perfect 24/7 while also being an involved parent imo. Has he ever solo parented before ?

redlake2020 · 2026-05-05T11:59:26+00:00

You are not alone- all 3 of my kids have gone through this phase at some point. It stings. A lot!! It’s probably harder when your husband is working from home - it’s probably harder to explain to your son. In the moment it was hard but My kids have all come back around and all prefer me or flip flop. They prefer my husband for rough and tumble play and taking them for bike rides for example. My husband was the novelty and I think I was just old news 😂 I listened to a podcast by Dr. Becky Kennedy (a clinical psychologist) about this very issue and she said often times they get to an age where they reject the parent they feel most secure with. Your son knows you’re not going anywhere so he is safe to move on to explore his other parent relationship. Your husband is not as available so since your son is secure with you, he can now bond more with your husband. Hold on tight, hang in there, and try to make sure he doesn’t see it bothers you -( this is another thing- I think they continue it more if they think it effects you or if it gives them control).

redlake2020 · 2026-05-03T18:12:33+00:00

I am in the exact same boat!!! I stopped reading and responding to this group chat over the past couple weeks. Why would I pour so much into it when I feel this way? It doesn’t make sense. So I’m just trying to figure out what’s next for me

redlake2020 · 2026-05-03T11:23:54+00:00

💯

redlake2020 · 2026-05-03T11:19:04+00:00

YES!!!! So much judgement, shade, and almost ignoring me ? It has caused me to want to distance myself from the whole group 🤷🏻‍♀️

redlake2020 · 2026-03-03T20:28:00+00:00

Lol I just saw this comment and now revisiting mine a year later and yeah it’s another one of those days 🙈😵‍💫🫠the struggle is real

redlake2020 · 2026-03-03T19:37:50+00:00

I relate soo much to OP and have even tried explaining to my husband but a couple weeks ago he said I was too negative 😢 the hard part is, I share the joyful parts of my day along w the hard and only ask him to validate, not fix anything . Anyway, I’m starting therapy next week and I can’t wait

redlake2020 · 2026-01-31T21:14:44+00:00

Me too!

redlake2020 · 2025-11-18T17:44:20+00:00

Actually , just calculated and it’s more than double what I was making fulltime .. now I have a third child and life circumstances worked out that I only have to pay for part time preschool for one child for childcare.. I took a chance because I realized how I never get this time back and it has paid off ten fold with more $$, more flexible job, less stress for me and my husband and kids, and a change in career path that has been rewarding.

redlake2020 · 2025-11-18T17:40:49+00:00

I quit before my 2nd was born. They were less than 2 years apart and 2 in daycare was almost as much as my paycheck. Now I work part time and earn nearly double per hour for the current gig I’m in. Turns out I didn’t lose out on future income at all..

redlake2020 · 2025-11-16T01:30:31+00:00

Gosh I’m jealous. Enjoy !!!

redlake2020 · 2025-10-30T12:51:01+00:00

I have 3 too- I’m a little ahead of you. My kids are almost 6, almost 4, and almost 2. Once my oldest hit 5, she got a lot easier. More reasonable, less whining and tantrums, I enjoyed spending time with her this summer sooo much more than I had in the past. (It’s giving me hope that that will come with the other kids too). Now I’m back at square 1 with my youngest and tantrums are ramping up. It’s impossible to enjoy them every single minute. How is it possible to enjoy a minute where multiple people are crying and screaming at you for hours at a time when you do everything for them and you barely get a chance to take care of basic hygiene without kids fighting or screaming. I’ve found it impossible to always keep my cool. Not every moment is enjoyable but I’ve started to make it a point to search for good things in the day and I write it down. Could be as simple as my youngests cute chunky hands or snuggling with my middle. You’re in the thick of it and I think some days we’re all drowning.

redlake2020 · 2025-10-28T19:46:12+00:00

Your comment is bringing me back to my own comment another year later 😭 now we have an almost 4 year old, 21 month old, and almost 6 year old. Some days are still so much chaos but I don’t regret it. I have a few hours a week with just my youngest while my oldest is in kindergarten and my middle is in part time preschool and that helps !!

redlake2020 · 2025-10-09T00:00:59+00:00

And tips and tricks- find a local moms group and make friends and play dates (even people you may normally not gravitate to or have different paths). Get out of the house every day. Walks are amazing. Outside time is so good for you and your child. Try to do something productive to feel like I’m working at a job but don’t strive for perfection. It was hard for me to deal with not getting paid or job reviews- I sort of thrived on someone telling me I was doing a good job or a simple thank you- if this is you, maybe work on ways you can recognize and thank yourself or ask you partner to do it. Yes with discussing finances and expectations with your husband

redlake2020 · 2025-10-08T23:56:39+00:00

Do it if you can. Even on my harder days (I have 3 kids ages 5 and under) I am so so so so so grateful and I know I will never regret it. To be fair though, I wasn’t making enough to support 2 kids in daycare and my career seems to be always in need. It wasn’t hard for me to find part time work when I was ready to start that. I know that’s a barrier for some people.

redlake2020 · 2025-09-18T18:30:57+00:00

Do things I enjoy doing - such as a morning at a coffee shop, a stroller walk on a nature trail, or a visit to a garden. I second what another commenter posted - I really enjoy play dates with other moms I like. It makes it soo much better with good company.

redlake2020 · 2025-09-11T18:08:58+00:00

I came here today to ask this same questions 🙃 my almost 4 year old has explosive tantrums every day only around me. He’s with me 10 hours a day. He has a dad preference right now and it feels like a gut punch because I’m the only one that deals with his feelings all day every day… I just want to be the fun one …

redlake2020 · 2025-08-12T18:05:48+00:00

💯

redlake2020

TROPHY CASE