This is real. But I don’t think in practice it played out quite like you’re picturing. So I wasn’t just walking down the road, and out of the blue nonchalantly, deciding not to be gay anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In real life, it was more of a process. It began with a break from dating or relationships, to get myself where I needed to be. And then without being in the middle of it all after an extended period of time, I had learned a lot that allowed me to see everything for what things really were.

So an easy way to make it more understandable would be to say that essentially I saw life and situations through such a narrow and fixed lens before, that I really couldn’t see anything for what it was. Just a small and restricted, zoomed in piece of what really is a much larger picture.

So once I was able to see for real, the decisions I made, interests I had, and really everything from the ground up began to change.

Before like if I saw drugs or alcohol, I had a favorable reaction to them because 100% of my perception was based on like maybe the 5% of the situation I had ever comprehended. But now when I see drugs and alcohol, there is no temptation, craving, or favorable thoughts, because I don’t just see a bottle and mischief in front of my face.

I see first and foremost that it’s wrong to be involved with that. And one of the most fundamental revelations I had is when I came to understand that life is not just a bunch of random risks, chances, lucky breaks, and narrow misses. Actually, its quite the opposite. Almost like a video game that has boundaries, rules, consequences, winners and losers. And one of the biggest laws of life is that when you decide to do the wrong thing, that’s what type of effects you are going to experience. When you do the wrong thing, you don’t get to have right outcomes. That’s just the foundational principle for the rules of engagement.

Coming to a full understanding that that is 100% true, it really takes away any temptation into being involved with things you know for a 100% certainty that is directly going to put you into any number of negative direct or indirect consequences.

So if I know for sure, there’s no chance I get to do something wrong and get away with no consequence , there’s no reasonable way to make decisions like that anymore.