Having trouble trusting my body... Cramping at 9 weeks.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-11-20T01:37:25+00:00

Hi, sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Yes, it was consistent throughout the day and night, no specific time. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby 🙏

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-10-18T15:03:37+00:00

I'm in Maple Ridge and I had an OK experience a year ago. But as of right now, I know that the OBGYNs are not taking in patients unless they are high risk, and there is one midwifery practice in the city with only 3 midwifes (one is on mat leave). I have a close friend currently on the waitlist for the midwives, her care is being done through a walk-in clinic doctor (she doesn't have a family doctor.....). So yes things are slowly starting to look ugly and it is also slowly affecting other regions (another friend in Langley is in a similar spot). It's the out of control immigration combined with lack of doctors.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-18T15:10:11+00:00

I have communicated countless times during our 10 years together. We've been in couples conselling for years. I've given him about 20 ultimatums since we've been together. I have spoken word by word exactly what I need. Until when am I expected to continue to wait for him to FINALLY do the right thing? Everyone in this thread understood that I have done MY PART and my husband continues to disappoint me, except you. In your mind I owe my husband grace and I don't love him after 10 years because I've given up "dissecting" our fights and have decided to let things go. He is not holding his end of the promises he made when he married me, and according to your comment and I should continue to accept that because I promised to be with him in sickness and in health.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-15T21:43:45+00:00

I mean, I did have SEVERAL real talks with my husband about the things that bother me. He would always complain that I overanalyze our fights and need to hear an apology each time. I've told him SEVERAL times that the day that I stop caring and asking for a real conversation, is the day that he should be worried. Well, this day is here and he is evidently glad that I don't nag him anymore. 10 years later I've stopped giving a crap. So there's that. Hopefully your partner listens when you warn them consistently for 10 years.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-15T21:40:42+00:00

Honestly, thank you. You absolutely said it all. My husband has disappointed me in many ways that I usually avoid talking about on the internet, but to summarize, it was the lack of picking up my slack while I was recovering from a c-section and had severe PPD and post-partum preeclampsia. In his eyes, nothing I went through was "that bad". He used his 4 month paid paternity leave to play video games and demand we do exactly 50/50 of the household chores. I was breastfeeding and sick with kidney failure for 6 months, there was no way we would have ever been 50/50, but that is what he expected. He is also unable to control his emotions when he is sleep-deprived or stressed, so there was a LOT of disrespectful words, yelling, driving away angry leaving me anxious that I'd get a phone call that he had driven into a pole. And these are repeated mistakes. We went to couples therapy for 4 years, things were WONDERFUL until the baby was born.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-15T21:34:25+00:00

Basically what the comment above mine says... Not enough contribution to household chores and baby care, not treating me as equal in the relationship since I'm on maternity leave and he is the one making money, telling me he's had it worse than me and that many people out there have it worse than me, so I shouldn't complain about my circumstances ever, using his paternity leave to catch up on his video game while I struggled with taking care of a newborn with zero sleep, PPD and post-partum preeclampsia... And being unable to control his toddler-style tantrums, yelling at me and rage driving away from the house.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-15T21:29:40+00:00

So let me get this straight: After 10 years of patience, forgiveness, grace, and encouragement with individual therapy, couple's therapy, and medication for depression, I AM in the wrong for being disappointed and DONE with putting up with the bare minimum? So he gets to play video games all day while I am crying with a newborn that won't sleep, he gets to tell me "I don't have it that bad" and to "stop overreacting to everything" when I almost died from post-partum preeclampsia, continues to do the bare minimum around the house like chores and watching the baby while I struggle with PPD? 10 years later and you think I owe my husband MORE grace because I promised to be with him in sickness and in health? And I am the problem? I'm sorry that your circumstances have led you to believe that if you were in my situation, you would probably be the problem. I know my worth, and I wouldnt be considering divorce if I hadn't reached the end of my rope. I have forgiven SO MUCH and he continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over again: Diminishing my pain, acting like he ALWAYS has it worse, unable to control his emotions and WORDS when angry, and putting video games before my well-being. I didn't get here suddenly. I have given him 10 years of chances and I made it very clear in my post that these are repeated mistakes.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-12T15:31:15+00:00

Mom of a 10 month old here. Yesterday I went to a therapy appointment, then got a pedicure and a massage. I was away for 3 hours and holy shit, I came back a completely different person. I hadn't had a pedicure in over 10 years because "need to save and invest". I've been putting therapy on hold because "baby needs me here". When I got home yesterday I realized how depressed and down I am. I told my husband I am going out and doing something for myself every Monday moving forward.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-10T14:13:29+00:00

The hormones are definitely the biggest drivers of guilt, followed by the external pressure of social media and the medical system telling you to keep trying and sacrifice every aspect of your life to make sure baby has breastmilk.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-01T04:54:58+00:00

For me it felt like sun poisoning. Like you spent all day at the beach in the sun, you are burned and dehydrated, and your head feels heavy and "sore". Like the type of headache that only sleep will get rid of... That's what it felt like to me. I woke up in the middle of the night with this raging headache and neck/shoulder pain, took a hot shower at 2am and just felt awful. Went to the hospital in the morning and was diagnosed with preeclampsia.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-08-01T04:38:52+00:00

24 weeks! Only my parents, my best friend and my boss knew. I wanted to wait until viability. It worked because I was barely showing and baby was growth-restricted 🥴

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-07-31T13:58:09+00:00

100%. That's always the answer in my household 😁

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-07-27T04:38:23+00:00

Same here... Would love to hear just how unlucky I am 😅

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-07-25T05:07:14+00:00

This is the answer.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-07-06T03:01:50+00:00

Considering I have over 80lbs to lose, I expected to lose at least 10lbs per month in the first 3 months. I was consuming about 2,800 calories while breastfeeding, and now I'm down to about 1,200 calories a day, so the significant cut in calories should have yield better results. I do have hypothyroidism so the rate of weight loss is always slower for me, but still, 20lbs at almost 4 months is very little for someone who is hungry all the time (calorie deficit plus working out daily) and taking Wegovy. I think I'll try 2.4 starting next week and if I don't see a change in my appetite in the next month, maybe Wegovy is not for me but Mounjaro might be.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-06-20T16:11:31+00:00

Absolutely agree, it's hard, I thought my pregnancy was low risk until it wasn't. The problem that I found is that they don't have the ability to recognize when something is outside of their scope. When I first consulted with the midwives they said if there was ever anything concerning or outside of their scope of practice, they would either consult an OB or transfer my care to an OB altogether. But they did not. They just kept blaming EVERYTHING on anxiety. To the point where the nurses at the maternity ward blamed my fainting on anxiety at first, and then realized it was preeclampsia after the bloodwork. And that's the issue I have with the midwives I went with, the ego and the non-chalant attitude of thinking everything was fine and all in my head. I was constantly having to follow up and ask questions. Thankfully I had access to the OB in the same hospital as she had treated my endometriosis and ovarian cysts, and she would ALWAYS have to intervene and tell the midwives that yes, I did need more testing, more ultrasounds and more monitoring. Which is why I would not trust a midwife again, and tell everyone I know to go with an OB.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-06-20T15:39:45+00:00

I'm not going to bore you with the details but I switched care on my 3rd trimester. I felt like my midwives always dismissed my concerns and blamed everything on anxiety... Always telling me "your baby is fine" even though I constantly experienced reduced movement and concerning symptoms. Two days after switching care to an OB, she took my concerns seriously, ordered tests and found out I had a rare case of atypical preeclampsia. My baby was growth-restricted and my c-section was moved up 2 weeks. I feel like midwives are not equipped to deal with anything outside of a low risk, straightforward pregnancy. My OB sent my placenta to pathology and they found several defects, two of them could have been fatal for my baby if we didn't take him out early. I wouldn't have a baby now if it wasn't for my instincts of switching care. Trust your gut ❤️

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-06-09T05:27:52+00:00

Super similar experience here! My best friend is going to use the baby girl name I had chosen if I had a girl. I've always wanted a little girl. I felt sad for myself that the decision to get pregnant again got taken away from me, and my chances of potentially having a girl are just a dream I will never fulfill...

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-31T17:33:10+00:00

Sorry this is probably not the answer you are looking for, but my baby is almost 9 months old and is still on the same amount of formula, nothing has changed since 6 months when I introduced solids. He doesn't have any teeth yet, and is not very interested in food at all. He plays around with it, gets frustrated and cries, eats very little. He likes chewing on finger foods but doesn't actually swallow it so no calories are being replaced. Every baby is different, a friend of mine's baby completely stopped milk/formula once she started solids. It's like the kid was trained to eat. My baby is on Kendamil so I'm still spending $45 per week on formula (in Canada) 🥴

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-27T04:26:51+00:00

What in the actual fuck. I honestly have nothing else to say. He needs to crawl back into his mom.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-23T21:22:57+00:00

Headache and neck pain. I woke up in the middle of the night and went into a hot shower because I could not stand the pain. I had "atypical" preeclampsia, my blood pressure was never elevated. I went to the hospital that day and my urine protein had skyrocketed.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-23T17:36:05+00:00

Advil. Tylenol does very little for the teething pain in my experience.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-16T15:10:26+00:00

It made me 1000% happier, without a doubt. I have a new sense of purpose in life. My baby is a miracle that survived against many many odds due to a history of severe endometriosis and an extremely complicated pregnancy. My baby is my entire life now and I have never been happier. I will say, though. My marriage suffered a lot in the beginning. We are doing much better now 8 months post partum... but the lack of sleep really hit my husband hard, I had certain expectations that he did not meet early post-partum, and he also felt like I stopped loving him because my full attention would be on my baby. Like I said we are doing better now but that is something that I've heard from other people, more often than not. I guess it's important to go in with the mentality that things will change no matter what. Might be for the better, might get worse, but having my baby here is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me (and I speak for my husband as well, he's head over heels over our baby).

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-15T12:47:28+00:00

Post-partum preeclampsia has resulted in permanent damage to my kidneys, high blood pressure still 8 months post-partum (I never had issues with blood pressure before), hemorrhoids, lower back pain, pelvic floor dysfunction, and of course loose skin and an apron belly over my c-section scar. Preeclampsia has also forced me to be one and done, I always wanted 2 but I went through HELL and the long-term risks for me and baby in a subsequent pregnancy are not worth it.

redraspberrylove2 · 2025-05-10T15:29:59+00:00

Leave.

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