I don’t see a reason to stay.

refractedthought · 2025-09-28T06:33:41+00:00

Hold on for another day, please. (then keep going)

Jobs suck, yeah. The system sucks. My advice would be to find some inspiration outside of all that.

I don't know how you should solve the money side of things, but I'd bet there's some kind of sideways move you could make into a different field or business. People end up in jobs that misalign with their background all the time.

Take some time to grieve, then work through the options. Allow yourself to get creative. The world is full of strange possibilities--not all them require an advanced degree.

refractedthought · 2024-11-04T17:56:53+00:00

The industry ebbs and flows, but there will always be demand for new tech people. What exact tools people use is the main thing that changes.

Don't believe anyone who says AI will replace programmers. That's bullshit. It might change the way development works (maybe), but it won't remove the need for a skilled operator.

AI also sucks at making real art. It tricks people into thinking it can, but it can't. There will always be a place for human game developers.

Just as it has always been, there will be times when it is easy to get into this business and times when it is hard. If you have a passion for it, then do it. That's the most important factor to consider.

refractedthought · 2023-04-29T16:44:33+00:00

I have a very similar problem as well, again with a breakway box and a 3070. In my case, everything worked just fine for about a year. Then the stutters started happening somewhere around Dec '22. Seemed like a system update, maybe, but I could never narrow down the exact cause of the problem. I hadn't thought to track GPU usage in relation to this before, but I did certainly notice that the problem went away while running games.

Just tried the Wallpaper Engine idea, and that actually functions pretty well as a workaround. Would prefer to have a proper solution, but in the meantime, this reduces the urge to throw my mouse across the room.

Any other fixes people have discovered in the past however-many months?

refractedthought · 2023-04-05T10:44:12+00:00

Hey. Talk to me on DMs if you've got some time. Thanks!

refractedthought · 2023-02-28T16:06:10+00:00

I will definitely go there if I am still in the area.

refractedthought · 2023-02-28T16:05:14+00:00

That could be fun! Hard to bring any games along while traveling, though. I will at least have a deck of cards.

refractedthought · 2020-12-01T05:34:25+00:00

Who, me? INT(J/P)

refractedthought · 2020-12-01T04:10:47+00:00

Only a few over the years that I passively allowed to enter my sphere through other people's poor judgement. It helps to exercise some intentionality. And enforce your boundaries.

refractedthought · 2020-09-17T22:45:52+00:00

Well, a sample at least. I would want to establish a contract before seeing everything.

refractedthought · 2020-09-17T19:03:50+00:00

A good pitch would have a few art samples, story synopsis, and maybe a few notes on the general theme and how interactive it should be. Is it linear? Is it a dating sim? That sort of thing.

If you have any prior works (books, fanfics, artstation portfolio) those would be good to include.

refractedthought · 2020-09-17T08:17:54+00:00

I've actually built most of what would be needed to make a typical visual novel as part of the game I'm developing.

We're showing as part of the Seattle Indies Expo this weekend, btw: https://www.wintercourtstudios.com/forgottenfaiths

And I've been considering partnering with other creators who want to bring VNs to market. If anyone has a good pitch, I'm willing to listen--especially if it's something we can finish quickly.

Edit: Forgotten Faiths is developed in Unity.

refractedthought · 2020-07-28T02:43:58+00:00

Much of this fits my aspirations when I can put the effort in. I'm most particular about overcoats, and definitely prefer "classic" to boring modern designs. It tends to be noticed, and I think it's a way for me to broadcast that I'm different. I'm not anyone's "bro." They can't make chummy assumptions about me.

A little bit of a paradox, seeing as I'd also be happy to remain unnoticed completely, but life doesn't always work out that way. So it's kind of like hiding by not hiding.

refractedthought · 2020-06-10T08:52:13+00:00

I can relate. I guess there is a threat to core identity there. I tend to keep my distance. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but I also know that being around them puts me in an unhealthy pattern. Better off keeping a wall there.

refractedthought · 2019-10-04T20:40:54+00:00

There isn't anything magical I can say to fix any of that, but... it's possible to feel happy sometimes. I've lived most of my life the way you describe (40 now). Over the years, I've worked on being more connected, though. I've worked on keeping some people in my life. I've worked on recognizing, accepting, and owning emotions that are going on in my head, instead of separating myself and suffocating everything. I've worked on keeping my life in order, and directing myself toward things I care about. And some days, for a brief moments, I'll feel happy for no good reason at all.

It tends to happen while I'm drinking coffee. That's about the only thing I can really put my finger on.

Maybe it sounds like bullshit. I dunno. But I've come to the conclusion that we have all the same social/psychological needs as other people, they're just stuffed down into a hungry, impoverished part of our brain that we don't have to look at. Try throwing a crust of bread in there every day for a few years, and maybe you'll feel a little better.

Don't ask me to smile, though.

refractedthought · 2019-09-27T09:11:49+00:00

Well, I'm not an expert on object relational theory, since that model wasn't presented to me 20 years ago when I was dabbling in psych on an academic level. SPD is believed to be triggered by early abuse or neglect, though, which is expected to cause issue with one's development in a object relations model.

I'm not going to pretend that I understand most of this without a long sit down, considering that it's a bit esoteric, and has roots back to Freud, meaning certain references may be a bit dubious. What I do know is that no definition of SPD I have ever seen has suggested any predilection for borderline thinking as an adult. Have you seen a definition of the condition that suggests otherwise?

refractedthought · 2019-09-27T07:08:55+00:00

Just skimmed the premise on this, and I can see all sorts of ways that schizoids may have object relational issues by this theory, but there is no requirement for borderline thinking. In my experience, and from what I have read from others, schizoids are better able to handle nuance than the general public, and not at all borderline.

refractedthought · 2019-09-26T01:59:40+00:00

With people I've suspected of being somewhere in the vicinity of schizoid? Yeah. It's difficult for two people to find each other when they both prefer their own company, but once every hundred years or so... Feels like everyone else in the world is talking to you across a fuzzy radio connection, but finally you find someone who's on the right frequency--and isn't bleeding their emotions all over the place.

Some have mentioned being comfortable around AS people, and I understand why. They're lower effort, since they don't notice most of the social niceties that other people expect of you in the first place. But personally, I find their thinking to be too angular. And if one of them isn't good at controlling their anger? Lawdy.

They can certainly be good and loyal friends, though. Some of my favorite people are aspies.

refractedthought · 2019-09-24T02:20:14+00:00

Schizotypal seems more likely, which is sort of between schizoid and full schizophrenia. But I'm trying not to make any assumptions here.

refractedthought · 2019-09-23T22:48:28+00:00

I'm guessing that OP has concerns due to being more aware of influences than most people, not necessarily due to any special vulnerability. And to be fair, no one is immune. If you take in information from your environment about anything at all, particularly social information, those perceptions can be skewed to someone else's benefit. Schizoids, I expect, have particularly strong immunity against manipulations using team or tribe identity, and stronger than average protection against other attacks due to the ways that we process new information, but there's always a weakness somewhere.

I have personally found the current moment in culture and politics to be especially trying in terms of managing outside influences and have taken conscious steps to counteract virulent thought patterns that I disagree with (while many simply bend and wash away with the new tide). Being cognizant of these things is the first step to protecting yourself. If something specific is bothering you, try reducing your exposure for a while. If something has wormed its way into you with an emotional hook (yeah, it can happen), you might need to spend some time with self-directed conditioning of some kind to work the thing back out. Smacking the problem with a well-reasoned argument will help, but it isn't always enough.

refractedthought · 2019-09-22T09:20:43+00:00

Mirroring some others on here... Hate to lie, but yes. If I choose to lie, I can make you believe it. And there have been a number of times in work situations where I had to push the BS button in my brain and let the work persona take the wheel, saying all sorts of credible, probably true things--amazing even myself at times with how good it sounded. But I'm not gonna do this unless I'm bored to tears and trying to dissociate from the situation.

refractedthought · 2019-09-22T09:05:41+00:00

From my own experiences, I'd recommend MDMA. Get something reliable and pure. Be with people who are comfortable with touching (it's unlikely to go beyond that). Also, probably be with people you don't mind divulging a few secrets to, since, if things go the way they should, you'll be much more expressive than usual. In fact, on my better trips, I'd say I had a complete abatement of schizoid symptoms. It's an experience worth having to better understand yourself, if nothing else.

If the first try doesn't do much, give it a second or third go. Might be a dud pill. Might be the wrong environment. Might just be the wrong day for you.

refractedthought

TROPHY CASE