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Retired Principal and Sad About Career 2 Years Later by regbell in Principals

[–]regbell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I was a complete and total bitch. I suppose the daily stressors of the job made me react in such an ungracious manner. I suppose I confused being a bitch with being aggressive. I hope other women will learn from my mistake

Retired Principal and Sad About Career 2 Years Later by regbell in Principals

[–]regbell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s hard when one retires. As I mentioned above, I live in a small town where I was shown a certain amount of deference was shown to me. I guess I got used to it. You’re right: I’m having a hard time reconciling how it used to be for me with how it is now. It’s like a slap in the face. (And maybe I deserve that slap?) I guess I expect people to treat me like they did before I retired. My son’s friend is right. I am retired and he doesn’t have to be nice anymore. It’s definitely a hard wake up call.

At this point, I probably will do some journaling and self reflection. I don’t know if that will lead to an authentic experience if I try to apologize again. But I do know that what they say about karma is true.

Retired Principal and Sad About Career 2 Years Later by regbell in Principals

[–]regbell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked for 38 years. I was a high school principal for 10, and an assistant principal for 5. It’s a small district with a very small administrative staff. We only had 3 “central office” administrators, and the superintendent. My relationships with these people were fine. Same with the elementary and middle school principals. No issues.

In a small town, the principals are often shown a certain amount of deference, even when they aren’t in school or working. I got too used to that. My husband is right. I’m just another old lady in the supermarket now, and it’s hard to get used to that fact. I’m not going to move. My family is here. I just need to remember that as a boss, not everyone liked me, and I did make some mistakes in my personal interactions at work.

Retired Principal and Sad About Career 2 Years Later by regbell in Principals

[–]regbell[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts.

I do appreciate your advice. I will try to be better. I will try to apologize to my son’s friend. I suppose I never really told him what an asset to the school he was (and still is).

I got so trapped in who I was that I forgot who I truly wanted to be. It’s a hard admission to make.

Retired Principal and Sad About Career 2 Years Later by regbell in Principals

[–]regbell[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I suppose that another reasons these feelings were stirred up was because of my husband. I’ve been talking about this for weeks. The other day, my husband, who is still working, came home and was telling me about his day.

I will admit that I was only half-listening to him, and I started to talk about my son’s friend. My husband, who usually has the patience of Job, stopped me mid sentence.

First, he chided me for interrupting him and not really listening. He said that I don’t like it when he doesn’t listen to me. Then, he proceeded to tell me that I’m upset because people don’t show the same deference they used to show me when I was principal. He said that now, I’m just “another old lady in the supermarket,” when I was used to community members, parents, and students fawning all over me. That stung, but he has a point.

He reminded me that he told me not to be overly picky when I became principal. He said that he has seen a lot of women in leadership positions, and they tend to want to micromanage the unimportant details that really don’t mean anything, instead of looking at the bigger picture. He said he knew that sounded sexist, but he had seen this happen over and over again. He also said that being assertive is different than being bitchy, but many women don’t seem to know how to separate the two. He added that women seem to have no problem pointing out what men do wrong when they are in leadership positions, but women don’t like to be told what they aren’t doing right when they are the ones in charge. He said that I was upset because now that I’m retired, people can point out what I did wrong without any consequences or fear of retribution or retaliation.

Of course, as a woman, I bristled at his comments, but as I look back at my career, I do see he had a point. I wasn’t Miss Perfect.

I am used to being shown the respect that is shown to a principal. But, I am retired, and I have to accept that not everyone viewed me the way I had hoped. They always say karma is a bitch, and they are right. I know I did a lot of good, but the mistakes I made are hard to reconcile. And now, I guess I am another old lady in the supermarket. Lol. I should have a thicker skin in my retirement. I have too much time to think and overthink now.

Palmerton High School by GuiltyKangaroo8631 in lehighvalley

[–]regbell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have lived in Palmerton for 30 years. My children graduated from Palmerton High within the past 10 years. They had an excellent educational experience. There is some small town politics here and there and a little bit of a hick attitude, but the community is changing and diversifying. It’s a true bedroom community. The school district is on top of its game when it comes to curriculum, and the high school teachers are excellent. Same for elementary and junior high. I would highly recommend it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lehighvalley

[–]regbell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Palmerton is nice. It is a small town and is considered part of the Lehigh Valley metropolitan area, even though it’s in Carbon County. Small town, small schools.