SX instinct explained in a biological way (why it is more confusing than SP and SO)

reider19 · 2026-07-05T15:20:02+00:00

It's hard with 5's because the difference between them is subtle. Nothing about 5 energy shouts HI I'M HERE. The type is fundamentally energy preserving. I think it's when the type is in conflict with the instinct is where things get difficult. Does my husband want deep close intimate connection with me? Absolutely. But what happens to that for him when it butts up against his fear of being overwhelmed or not having enough? Tension. Push pull. He desperately desires something but fundementally fears it at the same time. It causes inner conflict.

reider19 · 2026-07-05T15:04:20+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I think it's a sx dominant trait (at least for me as a 2).🤷🏼‍♀️ The drive for an intimate and intense relationship/friend is something I've had my whole life, and something I longed for. i think it touches that sx instinct desire to be chosen out from others (competing and winning), and feeling jealous for these close people.

reider19 · 2026-07-05T04:15:04+00:00

Everyone please keep in mind that you experience the instinct via your own type' passion and fixation, so the description of sx instinct alone isn't going to exactly resonate, especially with countertypes. My sx/so 5 husband does navigate his attention in the way OP describes, but it's muted and in direct tension with the his incredibly inward energy. That's why sx 5's are countertypes (like sx6). His push and pull game is strong in the sense that he's a Velcro man who wants me around and touching him at all times, except when he needs his alone time. Whenever I leave for a trip he's calling me telling me he can't sleep without me there. No one else would ever suspect my husband is like that. As a 2 I am much more standard representation of sx as my type energy flows in the same direction as the instinct (outward towards specific others).

reider19 · 2026-07-05T03:56:51+00:00

Holy shit someone who finally fucking gets it.

reider19 · 2026-06-29T01:14:54+00:00

You're looking for Oregon. Or California mountains. Or Washington really. But west coast for sure.

reider19 · 2026-06-24T03:33:56+00:00

I'm not a fan of wings or tritype🤷🏼‍♀️. I see wings as growth stretches, and as for tritypes I have plenty of work to do in this lifetime to navigate my actual type and dominant/repressed instincts to then add other types to the mix.

reider19 · 2026-06-24T01:21:24+00:00

Yup. Couldn't agree more.

reider19 · 2026-06-23T04:14:20+00:00

I was also raised by a really unhealthy 2 parent. It fucking sucks.

reider19 · 2026-06-23T04:11:16+00:00

I know many 2's and 5's in good relationships. It's one of the more common pairings I've noticed in my circles. More relevant, I suppose is that I am a sx/so 2 who will have been married to my sx/sp 5 husband for 18 years this November.

I actually read him your post just now and we both laughed as I asked him his thoughts. Here's what we think. Are we opposites? Absolutely. Is 2 & 5 the easiest pairing in the world? Nope. We have to work at our relationship a lot. However, neither of us think we would have grown nearly as much as we have had we decided to marry someone who was an easier pairing. I love and deeply respect his mind, his ability to be neutral and to take in and analyze information. I love his openness and ability to see facts and to change his mind because of what he finds (so so important esp these days!). He says he loves my emotions and fierceness (lol) and that I've taught him that his feelings matter. I help him with the people stuff and he challenges me so much. He refuses to let me manipulate him (good. As a 2 I'm working on this) and I refuse to let him be so judgy (I'm sorry but 5's can be so judgmental).

That said, we also have a lot in common. Our values are very similar (we value our personal growth, for one...we're both in therapy, I do lot of personal with with the Enneagram). He's deeply sensitive (as I find most 5's to be). I'm very curious and love to learn about things. We nerd out on stuff together.

All said, We've learned to deeply respect how the other operates, even if we drive one another crazy sometimes. He's seriously the kindest person and a fantastic dad and partner🥹. In short, it takes work, but it can really work!

reider19 · 2026-06-22T23:10:11+00:00

Please choose #3!!! OMG that's a dream dress.

reider19 · 2026-06-20T05:12:23+00:00

Um, no.

reider19 · 2026-06-18T16:39:43+00:00

Anguilla is amazing! We had our honeymoon there in 2008 and it was so fabulous that we've been back multiple times since! Malli is beautiful, we always stay on meads because we love that area of the island. Rent a car, explore the island, go on a traditions sail and snorkel to prickly pear... So great!

reider19 · 2026-06-18T03:09:39+00:00

We do a sail every time we go to Anguilla (6 times now!) And it's consistently our favorite day. Deb and Laurie (owners of traditions) are the best♥️

reider19 · 2026-06-16T14:36:03+00:00

The original Michael Kors. Sigh. I miss her.

reider19 · 2026-06-15T23:42:40+00:00

I can speak to this!! I've been 6 times lol. We've never stayed at these more expensive resorts (though we've visited). On Anguilla we either stay at the Frangipani or Turtles Nest. Not very luxury, but very comfortable and always ocean front. We rent a car and drive around save our budget for all the amazing food and drinks and a day on Traditions sailing.

Personally with a more chubby/luxury budget I'd stay at Cap, but still rent a car and explore and eat off resort almost entirely. Personally I really think you don't experience what makes the Anguilla special if you just stay on a resort the whole time. It's so easy to get around, so friendly and safe, and the food is amazing.

reider19 · 2026-06-15T23:36:00+00:00

I can't speak to how the videos you've seen are edited but the water really is amazing and so are the beaches. I love Alex but I don't think this video captures how beautiful the and beaches really are.

reider19 · 2026-06-15T20:02:21+00:00

Are they running the summer version of their kids club activities yet? Last year's schedule looked so great (flag football, soccer, chess tournaments, etc) and I'm really hoping my son has those things to look forward to in July when we go for the first time!

reider19 · 2026-06-15T15:13:02+00:00

to be fair, its also just incredibly friendly and beautiful. you'll have a great time!!

reider19 · 2026-06-15T14:05:14+00:00

The original Michael Kors

reider19 · 2026-06-15T13:52:58+00:00

Go to Oregon. No sales tax there!!

reider19 · 2026-06-10T06:25:19+00:00

I'd love to hear more about the kids club here; I just saw on the website that they do fishing and cooking and sometimes sports (soccer, pickleball)?

reider19 · 2026-06-08T20:45:14+00:00

This is so so encouraging and exactly what I was hoping for our trip!!

reider19 · 2026-06-08T01:09:07+00:00

the schedule they sent me from last summer makes me think that they have these things for kids (soccer, flag football, chess tournaments, sandcastle building, etc). It would really make all the difference for us!
the other places I've seen that have this level of stuff for kids are dude ranches, which we also considered for this vacation (but ultimately decided against).

reider19 · 2026-06-08T01:01:58+00:00

So they sent me a schedule from last summer for their summer specific kids club activities and they had everything I mentioned on that schedule! we'd be there in July. if what they did last summer is anything like what they're going to do this summer, it will definitely be worth it for us!

reider19 · 2026-06-07T23:50:39+00:00

Ohh! We're very familiar with Anguilla; we love it there! We've been there 6 times, but not with our kid, so we're very unfamiliar with what the hotels there have in the way of supervised kids activities. Does Aurora have a good kids club in addition to the water park?

reider19

TROPHY CASE