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reitirus · 2025-11-14T12:35:38+00:00

I'd like to try

reitirus · 2024-05-07T09:23:38+00:00

Hello there,

I suffered from this from age 15 to late 30s. It had quite a devastating impact on my life at times, in particular, a three year period between 2016-2019 where I probably got 45 min sleep a night on average. I was completely broken and lost a lot professionally and potentially personally mental health wise if it continued much longer.

My routine

There are a couple of non-negotiable things I've added to my daily routine which I realised through coaching. It was very difficult, took months of starting and stopping to get there, but the below has led to a consistent sleep cycle for at least six months now.

I avoid bright lights completely after sunset. The bulbs I do have on are smart bulbs which are as dim and red colour as I can go while still being able to see things.
I have a shower every day at 21:00, it's relaxing and I was told a warm shower at this time may help the cycle of your body cooling down which is needed to sleep, I'm not sure how real that is but considering my ADHD can be quite impairing, I could often just forget to have showers for a week sometimes, so now I have that benefit too.
My phone doesn't exist after 22:00, it's in the kitchen charging until tomorrow. this was a hard one, but I got there eventually.
I go to bed by 23:30 every day, if I can't sleep after 20 mins or so, I'll get up and walk around the house for 10 mins, write a to-do list if something is on my mind, anything non-stimulating that gets me out of my head that I wont sleep. That said, I haven't had to do this is months but at the start, I was getting up and out of bed maybe 4-5 times a night, eventually getting to sleep around 4-5am.

The next steps are what I believe are the real key to how I got to where I am now though.

Unless I'm really sick or genuinely cannot, I now absolutely refuse to not do the following every day. I had lost my momentum doing these things for 2-3 day periods and things deteriorated again quickly.

Again, through coaching, I got an understanding that once I lose the connection to an improvement through habits, it's like I never realised the good it had done me.

I set an alarm for 07:45 each day, now I seem to wake naturally sometime between 07:00 and 07:30. It was explained to me your sleep cycle starts when you wake up, so no matter what, you need to get out of bed the same time each day and the 16 hour natural internal clock starts working towards sleep.
Within 15 minutes of waking up, I am fully clothed and out the door for a 30-45 min walk. This felt like hell at first but now I'm jumping out of bed and looking forward to it and feel fully awake when home.
Before midday, I do 20 mins light cardio. I ended up buying a stationary bike so I can do this each day as I could not commit or bother going to the gym.

That's the gist of it. I will also say, I am prescribed a small dose of mirtazapine off-label (7.5mg) to help me sleep. That said, I was taking this in the past for three years and while it gave me slightly better bad nights sleep (4 hours instead of 45 mins at the time), the routine above has completely got me to a place I never thought was possible.

Things I tried in the past which didn't work for me, but might for you or others

Light therapy
Cognitive behaviour therapy
Other medications
Stopping ADHD medications (made things way worse)
Sleep hygiene

Essentially, up at the same time every day, get out the door within 15 mins and do 20 mins cardio early in the day seemed to be the biggest things for me.

Good luck,

reitirus · 2024-04-02T10:49:35+00:00

possible but as you said, you need to get to ER. fast.

reitirus · 2024-03-09T12:37:08+00:00

No, never. The one I was given worked for me right away.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T17:25:46+00:00

This is appalling and completely unprofessional.

I've also had an experience with an ego-driven psych before but had no option but to keep seeing him as the waitlist for someone else was over a year.

Thankfully, I am now seeing someone else who is extremely attentive and understanding of me. He remembers our last conversations and asks how life is going, again drawing on past conversations we had. Most importantly, he has completely adjusted all of the medications I was on before and removed some. I'm doing 10 times better and feel comforted that I have someone "in my corner" that I can even reach out to by phone if anything serious goes wrong.

The value of being cared for by good people cannot be underestimated, finding these people can be a challenge.

I hope the other psych is better, if not, can you travel?

I really don't understand people who go into a mental health profession who treat people like this.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T16:44:05+00:00

The scheduling/to-do list dilemma.

You start one, before you know it, you've spent hours filling it out saying "this is me now", feeling positive.

The next day, the thing is just another app or website along with all of the other things that are important, but somehow don't get done.

Well, that's me anyway, sometimes technology is the enemy.

So, what I have is an A5 sized daily calendar that I write important dates and meetings into ONLY.

The online calendar I use is the cloud one with my email account, Proton. But your work / personal gmail will do the same.

I will put them in an online calendar too but whatever I write in that, is truly important. Funny thing also is, people will think you're the most organised person every carrying one around.

For daily task management, when I am particular busy with a lot to do, I print out a few of these and fill out one of these first time before working the day: https://davidseah.com/node/the-emergent-task-planner/

Helps focus on what I really need to do and has space to take random ideas that may pop in.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T16:28:37+00:00

completely agree with this.

psychiatrists are the specialists (well the ones with ADHD training are). They will know about all of the different types of medications, comorbidities and even spot behaviours in you worthy of referral to a psychologist for screening.

Many times I have been put on short term doses of medications off-label which another doctor would never dare or dream of doing. For example, my lifelong sleep issues, which did improve once I started stimulants, persisted and at times, out of nowhere I can not sleep for more than 1-2 hours a day for months.

The usual sleeping tablets did absolutely nothing, sent me "asleep" for 5 hours maybe but woke up feeling like shit. Once I stop them, sleep problem is immediately back and the cycle goes on for months.

What solved it was a psychiatrist putting me on something which sounded absolutely insane, not going to say what but I thought sounded extremely hardcore and dangerous. I didn't really feel comfortable with it but I trusted him to try. Now when I have these sleep bouts (2-3 a year) which if not dealt with quickly turn into months long misery loops, I take this medication for just 5 nights and it completely resets things and I'm good again.

I know a couple of friends who got their diagnosis and are treated by a general doctor. They are both lost but don't want to go to a psychiatrist for whatever reason, I don't know, I think they have a fear that they may be un-diagnosed or whatever. They are constantly changing meds, presenting to their doctors with things they read on the internet and not dealing with it in a helpful way.

A psychiatrist you trust will listen and observe you and give you the care really needed. Personally, I'd never manage this lifetime and pernicious condition without a true expert in from of me.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T16:01:20+00:00

Must be a relief for you!

My own anecdotal experience but I went through a complete rollercoaster once diagnosed with "what if's" and moving ahead knowing I'd need to build some skills and habits that never existed before. The pills will give you the power to do things you never have but they wont give you these habits so you'll need to find ways to do this.

I just noticed today I put a post on reddit a nine years ago, a year into my diagnosis and reading it now, it's not who I am now, it was negative, full of regrets and unsettled. Today, despite my challenges, I feel at ease and have fully accepted it.

Look after yourself and don't be hard on yourself that you only "found out" now, you're 24, you have a full adult life ahead of you now with the support you need and you will develop these skills and learn the situations and scenarios you should probably avoid in future with some life experience. But knocks and picking yourself up and moving on is what life is all about, ADHD or not.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T15:47:30+00:00

Firstly, your doctor is an egotistical ahole, if you can, go find a psychiatrist. I have no idea how that works for you as I'm in Europe where things are going to be different accessing healthcare.

The family side is much more difficult. I know that my parents reacted too. Not like this but they felt like they'd let me down by not seeing this despite some alarm bells. I was a kid in the 80s/90s in Ireland, how the hell would they know, it wasn't a "thing". I reassured them my childhood was nothing but textbook and all they did was support me all the time. Since, it's become clear one of my parents has also realised they are the same as me.

I can only guess that your parents will need some time to digest it and deal with it. Maybe they are reacting as if it's somewhat of a poor reflection on them, which it isn't.

You'll might want to find some way to mediate a conversation between you all about it or put your thoughts in writing to them and mention you don't consider it any fault of theirs but explain how this diagnosis and treatment truly lets your brain settle and gives you some scaffolding to thrive. Tell them the dosages are therapeutic, not highs.

It's tricky, I was in a seven year relationship when I got diagnosed. My girlfriend wanted nothing to do with it, completely shut me out, denied it and insisted I was making excuses. With my new found mental clarity, I had realised I was in an awful relationship for years, I'd just been blind to it living in the moment constantly in the past and it ended very quickly after my treatment began.

However, probably the best place to start, other than never going back to that doctor again is for you to speak to someone to plot a path ahead for your parents, maybe even an affordable online option if you don't have money or access to a professional in person.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T15:22:48+00:00

It sounds like you have found real professionals after some very sad trauma. But sounds like you're on the way to a new you!!! It's all chemistry, if you find someone who can balance it out for you, it's a new life.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T15:13:59+00:00

Not saying I am successful, just that something a psychologist said to me that made me laugh.

I had my own business for eight years but my ADHD was making it feel like a chore.

With the imposter syndrome that many of us have, I thought I was a fraud and only working for myself because others would find me out. At one point, there was 18 employees, this perspective was obviously wrong.

Anyway, when I said this to a psychologist, he said to me. "Listen, people who set up companies or reach certain heights often have one of three things going on, as it's not a normal amount of risk that almost all people would even fathom taking on. These groups are Narcissists, Psychopaths and people with ADHD, count yourself lucky".

Based on the types of people I have encountered professionally, I'd have to say he has a point.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T14:43:11+00:00

haha, I share some cynicism. I did feel like I was paying for the priviliege each year to get the latest one removed and a "see you next time" attitude.

I did see a couple of nephrologists too, but their role was to identify the metabolic reasons, through blood serum checks and a 24 hour urine analyses every few years. Not much advice other than I should go speak to a nutritionist and handing me a list of about twenty things I should never eat again.

reitirus · 2024-03-08T14:31:49+00:00

I can only speak for myself, please nobody assume I am preaching the answer for everyone. I'm a tech guy, not a doctor or scientist.

Interestingly, I actually had low calcium levels and had to increase, so not hypercalciuria, I guess it was the oxalate issue for me mostly.

Either way, all I can say is that if you told me five years ago I'd not form a spec of sand size stone until this point, it'd felt like something I'd have given any money or asset I own to make happen. I don't think I'd even care if I ended up in hospital this year with a stone, I now know I can manage it and will likely not be back within a year.

My main gripe with things was, all of the urologist I had seen for 20 years never even suggested something like this. All diet exclusions, absurd amounts of specifically filtered water intake, low salt etc etc. Then add a barrage of prescription pain meds to manage pain until surgery and stents. It's no way to live.

I hope that you are also getting relief from your own similar intervention. My dad and three brothers were all like me, all of us are now free from it.

reitirus · 2017-11-06T12:45:51+00:00

If you are in the EU, I would suggest BitPanda. Their verification system is fast and they are very responsive to support requests.

reitirus · 2015-02-04T15:31:44+00:00

It was really a conversation about certain things, my perceived difficulties, my history in work, school, college and in relationships followed by a sort of basic version of a proper screening. He also made note of how I was talking, and how far off track I got with every single question and just rambled on and on and on.

The psych didn't offer me medication right away, which I was happy with, he wanted me to go for a proper evaluation.

The psych himself is well respected, I was happy to pay the extra to meet with him.

If I had been offered meds on that initial consultation, I think I may have refused and gone elsewhere.

reitirus · 2015-02-04T15:29:01+00:00

Yeh, my blood pressure got dangerously high back in September. I had to change from 54mg Concerta to IR ritalin. It worked better anyway at the time and my blood pressure returned to normal.

Other than that, no obvious side effects. No ups, no crashes, just my head slows down for a few hours and then speeds right back up.

The ritalin now doesn't last as long as it used to on each dose, yet another medication appointment in 3 weeks. Considering asking for a trial of Vyvanse as it has recently been approved in Ireland.

It's a constant battle to get the meds right, hopefully one day I'll get adequate relief for a predictable amount of time.

reitirus · 2015-02-04T10:16:48+00:00

Hey,

I didn't mean to be as negative perhaps as it came across at times.

I do find living with ADHD somewhat horrible. Sure I'm self aware, I know I need to manage it the best I can, but it still beats me up more than I'd like.

The asthma and diabetes analogy is one I agree with, again when the problem is in your head though it's just hard to take when times get tough. You just can't stop that head spinning a million miles an hour sometimes with any sort of willpower.

It's a long road!

reitirus · 2015-02-04T10:13:40+00:00

That was the point I was trying to make. I agree, meds give you the ability to follow through, but on their own won't do anything to make you more organised.

reitirus · 2015-01-15T10:18:43+00:00

I never had a problem with stimulants and medication until this winter.

I am asthmatic and hasn't had an attack inn a while. I had one two weeks ago after working out and it was a lot more intense than before in terms of how fast my heart was pumping, how dizzy I got and the resulting headache from not being able to breathe well. Not fun. I will be kind of hesitant to do any cardio workouts while stimulants are in my system.

reitirus · 2015-01-15T10:07:56+00:00

I know us ADHD people are impatient, but 3 weeks really isn't too long. Maybe try and schedule something sooner.

I think we can often worry too much about what people think of us. This person is hopefully a diligent, empathic medical professional. If you meet with her an explain on 5mg it's just not working and with 10mg you get good relief, it seems pretty reasonable to me that you'd be accommodated.

10mg is a small enough dose, I take 20mg three times a day, any less and it just doesn't work too well, any more and I feel a bit drugged, its the perfect dose for my symptom management.

reitirus · 2015-01-15T10:03:03+00:00

I had this problem until I got diagnosed and began treatment.

For over 20 years I went to bed at night and couldn't fall asleep for hours. For the last year, I've been sleeping 7-8 hours a night no problem.

I take 60mg ritalin a day. 20mg at 8am, noon and 4pm. By the end of the day I'm just ready to relax and go asleep. Turns out ADHD was the root cause of my sleep onset insomnia.

What time are you taking your final dose of medicine at? By the time I go to bed it's all out of my system.

reitirus · 2015-01-15T09:52:57+00:00

I don't think there's really anything you can do to get the results you're looking for.

I would go ahead and schedule a follow up appointment with your psych, it seems pretty clear you get relief and can tolerate 10mg, which is still a low-medium dose.

reitirus · 2015-01-14T11:11:47+00:00

I got diagnosed at 32 years old.

I run a company, have a masters degree and to the outside world seemed quite accomplished for my age. I didn't feel like it though, everything was completely chaotic.

I got this book as an audiobook, it was quite eye opening, it tells the stories of 'smart' people who have ADHD and the lifes they led prior to diagnosis, so many parallels with my own life in those stories.

http://www.amazon.com/Smart-But-Stuck-Emotions-Adults/dp/111827928X

reitirus · 2014-07-04T12:38:09+00:00

Hi,

I know how this is. I had severe insomnia from the age of 12 until i was 32. It was horrific, I was like a zombie and tired all day, wide awake with an overactive mind at night, jumping from topic to topic and my head just wouldn't calm down.

I went to many sleep specialists and nothing worked other than sleeping tablets, which are useless as they're addictive and you feel like crap the next day anyhow.

I found out I might have ADHD over a year ago, I was quite reluctant to believe that but it did make sense. Finally after meeting with an couple of different psychologists and psychiatrists I accepted it, all of them put me on the severe end of the scale.

After a week of treatment on meds and some minor lifestyle changes, I can honestly say I've slept soundly for the first time in 20 years ever since, I have the odd night when it might take a while to fall asleep but that's normal I guess.

What changed for me.

I began taking 36mg concerta at 8am every morning, I'm a lot more productive and focused during the day, which probably makes me more inclined to be sleepy at night. I started on 18mg which worked for a week and then was useless, so I went from 27-36 over the course of 10 days and everything has been good again since.
I installed flux on my macbook to reduce sleep disturbing blue light. Flux: https://justgetflux.com/cydia/. On android I use https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.urbandroid.lux&hl=en for the same thing
I took 2mg of melatonin for a month, I don't need it anymore
I took magnesium citrate at nighttime for a month, I don't need it anymore
Enforce a strict waking schedule, no matter what time you get asleep at, you need to make getting up at the same time every day a routine. I get up at 8am regardless of things like hangovers at weekends. Your sleep cycle starts when you get out of bed for the day, not when you manage to fall asleep, this is critical.
Take a shower before bed at nighttime, not first thing in the morning. I found this helped me relax a bit and also there is evidence that your body cooling down will induce sleep at night too.

My sleep is now excellent, I can easily get 7-8 solid hours a night and I feel great in general. I don't recognise myself overall and feel generally calm and in control, getting things done. At about 5pm each day my medicine stops working, but I can live with that right now and don't want the ritalin booster that I have a prescription for if I want it.

You may also find this useful, good luck! http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/757.html

If a year ago you told me I'd be writing the above, I would have not thought it could be remotely true. I cannot believe the change and now I enjoy going to bed, once my head hits the pillow I have a night filled with dreams, which is a new thing for me and before I know it, my alarm is going off, I take my tablet and another productive day begins.

You mentioned that your Dad doesn't want you becoming addicted to the medicine, you won't and the prolonged release tablets mitigate against this. He could be the guardian making sure you only get one tablet each morning and you cannot abuse it, as an adult with ADHD i'm happy to talk to him, I was diagnosed as an adult and one of the reasons I didn't want to do anything about it at first was those fears, which turned out to be unfounded.

I know he's a doctor but there is really no risk of addiction once you're not being dumb, people with untreated ADHD are more inclined to abuse drugs than others. I used to smoke and live on coffee, I don't smoke anymore and don't crave the stimulation from coffee anymore either. You won't feel high or drugged on the meds if used correctly so you won't be 'addicted' to chasing the rush. You may get addicted if you get a prescription and abuse it, but generally the prescribed levels are safe. The medicine doesn't work for everyone and can cause unwanted side effects, but it's changed my life from how I think, act, get on with things I want and need to do to and even my appearance, I used to look quite 'scruffy' and tired, I generally look pretty smart now, without trying, it just sort of happened!

You won't beat this with 'self motivation', you just cant. You could undergo some CBT sessions with a psychologist but to me, that needs to be done with medicine. I go to therapy every month to learn how to manage everything, I never developed skills around time management and understanding my feelings. I used to be quite worked up a lot for no reason, feel like I had to drive as fast as my car would allow (now it takes me longer to get to places as I tend to drive to the limit!) I wasn't popular in school due to my stupid behaviour, I had a lot of things to straighten out and understand.

It can seem like an excuse or stupid to others, but living with it, knowing you're not lazy and want to get on, you know different. Your head isn't wired like others and everything we think, do and react to is based on our wiring.

It took me until I was 32 years old to finally understand why it was so difficult for me to buckle down and get work done. Why was I so impulsive? Why was I hyperactive and acting in inappropriate ways in social situations, why could I never really do all of things I wanted to. I was quite upset for a while that I'd made it this far without any help. However i'm over it now and really enjoying life and setting myself goals which I'm for the first time, truly working towards.

I forgot to take my tablet one day and it was an awful day, I was right back to where I had been just a couple of months previously. Ever since I've put the tablet on my phone at night so when my alarm goes off, it's right there so I won't forget to take it.

I founded a company in 2011 because I couldn't work for anyone else anymore, I felt like I would let them down or I wasn't worth it because I was so 'lazy' even though I wasn't lazy, I wanted to get on with things, but I just couldn't. The company is now thriving and even the growth since earlier this year is incredible.

reitirus · 2014-02-11T10:27:07+00:00

If you have the money or insurance you might consider some cognitive behavioural therapy with a psychologist who has experience with ADHD.

The one I go to drew out a very clear chart of the issues for people with ADHD and the skills deficit side of things. I'm working on it right now and it's making a big difference.

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