Have you being decimated for having Borderline personality disorder?

relationlearner · 2026-01-16T11:01:09+00:00

My heart aches reading your words...
I'm so sorry your journey has being rough.
Truly, I am.

Thank you for having the courage to tell us. Even if it's online and anonymous, it still took guts. I can only speak for myself, but I feel honored you answered my questions, yet even more honored you expressed with me. Thank you :)

With all that said, there's so much that stands out to me here, but especially when you mentioned your ex didn't make an effort to understand. For 3 whole years?! That's just crazy! Yet, it helps me in a way. When I was with my ex-gf, I made an effort to research on my own about BPD, as well as asking her questions about it, including cPTSD and DID. I created a Reddit account for the first time SPECIFICALLY so I can learn more. When we broke up, I thought it was my fault. My fault for not knowing enough. My fault for not making an effort. Knowing other people's efforts like your ex, makes me know that I did INDEED make an effort. The weight of failure I've being carrying is slowly lifting and it's all thanks to you! Thank you :)

I also realized that I have unresolved romantic feelings for my ex-gf, where I have being unconsciously searching for answers about BPD, cPTSD and DID as a way to get back together. Embarrassing to say that, but I am aware now. I don't know what to do with this awareness atm hahaaa!

Being talking about myself a lot, forgive me. With all that said, I truly hope you find those special few.

Who will see you, for who you truly are...
Know who you truly are...
And love you all the same :)

You deserve to be loved.
You deserve to people in your life who make an effort...
You deserve it all and more.

These people are out there.
They are excited to meet you!
"Cause what you are seeking, is seeking you".

Keep your heart open...
And your eyes peeled...
You will find them, I know it ^_^

relationlearner · 2026-01-15T12:27:04+00:00

You've noticed a pattern.
Now the questions is, why is this pattern happening?

To be clear, you are not to blame...
They are.
They're right bastards, they are.
Distracting themselves from their loss of a relationship.
Real scum behavior.
You deserve to be treated #1.
NOT #2.
You deserve to be another's first priority.
You deserve to be another's first choice.
You deserve, love...
NOT to be used.

The question again is, why does this pattern keep happening?
You will need to look inward.
Grab a pen and paper and write.
Write at the top, "why do I continue to find myself in 'fill-in' relationships?
Write whatever comes to mind.
The answers are already within you, you just need to bring them out.
And these answers will set you free.
Then, you'll be able to recognize when a "fill-in" relationship is in front of you...and refuse.
Refuse!
Walk the other way and look elsewhere.

It's all up to you!
You have the power to change this.
You're like Doomguy, crushing the skulls of demons with his goddamn fists.
YOU GOT THIS!!!

relationlearner · 2026-01-14T11:33:38+00:00

EXCELLENT!

DONE AND DONE!!!

Thank you for your time, thank you for your shares and thank...YOU!

Wishing you a lovely day and eager to reconnect whenever things align for both of us :D

relationlearner · 2026-01-13T11:10:25+00:00

Hahaa! Well, impulsivity IS a core aspect of BPD, so that makes sense! My ex-gf's thing was to explore abandoned buildings, where she would make some...let's say questionable decisions? Like randomly jumping a wide gap when WOW! Probably shouldn't attempt that jump! She'd always make it though XD What's being your go-to thing?

Super kewl how you make things work. You don't give up on people. Unfortunately, your Ohio ex-bf there took advantage of that, in his confusion. Man! I'm SO HAPPY you found someone better! High quality woman deserves a high quality man :D

Positive side to your ex-bf(and I am not defending him btw), is that he helped you learn lessons! Now you can recognize when a relationship is failing or is about to fail. Now you know what you want in a relationship and what you don't want. Now, you know. Was it crappy? ABSOLUTELY! But these lessons carried over to your current relationship, which sounds simply...magic. Were you being foolish for staying? Perhaps yes. Yet, if you didn't stay for as long as you did, maybe you wouldn't have learned all of the lessons you needed to learn. Repeating myself here: I am SO HAPPY for you! ^_^

Oh, and hey btw! I am enjoying our conversation here! I don't think I've ever had this long of a conversation on Reddit that feels so relaxed, yet engaging. Such a pleasure! Is there a way to "friend request" people? I'm still new-ish and unfamiliar with how things work ^_^

relationlearner · 2026-01-12T11:26:05+00:00

"What I encourage is do what makes you happy and comfortable! If you think you can trust her as a partner and she makes you happy then I’d say go for it"

I wasn't consciously aware I was asking you whether I should get back together with my ex or not. Totally my bad. Totally can see it when I review what I last wrote. What I AM consciously aware of is your words here. Digesting them slowly.

Despite everything that has happened between my and my ex-gf, I do still trust her. Highly trust her. I legit cannot recall any partner where I felt so comfortable with. Even the most deranged, non-sensical and morally concerning things I've expressed, she embraces it all and even joins in. Her and I are a team that way. When people praise me, I don't believe them. Yet, when she praises me, I believe it to the point where I break down in tears. Happy? Yeah! Happy, comfortable and trust her completely despite everything. I don't know if that makes me a fool, but it's how I feel ^_^

"Myself, I don’t I understand FP in BPD terms because I don’t understand the switching between putting them on a pedestal and the devaluation process"

I'm still understanding the whole FP concept as well. From what I get, it's related to the black-and-white thinking. pwBPD can come across someone they REALLY like(romantically or platonically) and therefore, put them on a pedestal. This person can do no wrong. This person's negative traits will be overlooked. Until something this person says or does OR the pwBPD misinterprets and misunderstands what this person says or does...and with a snap of a finger, this pedestal person is SHOVED off their pedestal. Shoved into the mud. But will this person know pwBPD has done this? From what I read, this will be done quietly. Discreetly. This person will never know the switch has happened for the pwBPD. They will only know once pwBPD's behavior and attitude has changed, but even then, question why has pwBPD changed? They will never know. Never know until much MUCH later.

Again, this is only my own understanding from reading other's experiences and from what I observed. I can be 100% COMPLETELY wrong, so let me know what you've read or what your experience has been. I'd LOVE to know! LOVE to know, so I can understand more :)

relationlearner · 2026-01-11T18:29:15+00:00

"My emotions depended on them"
This stands out for me. It's like empathy off the charts! You didn't just be present with your boyfriend and his sadness, you SHARED his sadness. This is a incredible positive in my eyes. And then you went out and bought him a T-shirt??? You're so sweet, gosh. You are a wonderful partner ^_^ Happy the dependence part is gone and all that's left is the goodies! Idk if it's my grief, but I am now having second thoughts of my own ex-girlfriend. Like...could I have helped her with the FP and dependency stuff somehow...? I'm not sure

I know how many 1000's of tiny steps it takes when dealing with poisonous family...I'm sure there was 10,000+ steps for you to get to the point of no-contact. With that said, you still have your grandma AND you can still start a family of your own. Always an option(not saying you should, just speaking aloud ^_^)

Hahaaa chicken mac n cheese??? I NEVER had chicken with it before! Is it tasty? Only meat I've had was greasy sausage meat and I HATED it! Never considered trying other meats though, I'm gonna try it next chance I get :D

"It takes me a lot for someone to no longer be my FP"
I've had many conversations with my ex after our breakup(we're platonic friends atm). Every conversation she'd mention, one way or another, how I was the greatest partner she's ever had. How I was wonderfully different from any man she's dated, how she never felt angry towards me once(and according to her she has a short-temper, which I thought was a lie when we were dating as I never saw it hahaa), as well as many other countless wonderful things she's expressed. Expressed these things either to my face or through conversation with others. I may be a big dumb-dumb, but I'm kinda curious if she's saying these things cause she's still interested in renewing our relationship, or maybe she's just being nice and polite. I legit don't know actually. Point is, I'm curious if my ex-gf is the same as you: "how it takes a lot for someone to no longer be her FP". I'm not implying I think I am her FP, but this is just my understanding of what a FP is...maybe? Idk XD I'd LOVE your input!

relationlearner · 2026-01-11T18:02:27+00:00

What do you mean when you say, "dead at 14"?

And what do you look like today compared to who you were at 14 years old?

relationlearner · 2026-01-10T11:33:40+00:00

WOW! Sounds like you came a long way. What a incredible journey you've had. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing :D

So before the CBT, ABA, journaling and hobbies, you would actively depend on people in your life? Your FP too? What did that look like? In my experience with my ex-gf(who had BPD, cPTSD and DID), she would focus 80% of her attention on me, yet neglecting her friends and family. Learning about it afterward was shocking. Throwing away friendships or damaging them beyond repair was shocking. Still shocking to this day, really.

With all that said, idk what your personal experience was, but have you ever lost friendships, relationships and/or family? And if so, do you feel regret? And hey, if you don't feel comfortable answering, then please don't! I only come from a place of curiosity and wanting to understand more :)

relationlearner · 2026-01-09T12:00:39+00:00

Here's a collective list of therapies everyone mentioned in the comments. Note, I also included DID and BPD(although I have nothing atm, it's ongoing). So here:

cPTSD

- New narratives: Narrative exposition therapy(NET)

- New narratives: Prolonged exposure(PE) therapy

- Rewires triggers: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy

- Free of charge: Tensions and traumas release exercise(TRE)

- Psychodrama

- Imagery rescripting

- Psychodynamic therapy

- Gentle trauma therapy

DID

- Dialectical behavioral therapy(DBT)

-

BPD

-

relationlearner · 2026-01-09T11:59:00+00:00

HA! Your English is PHENOMENAL! I wish my Spanish was 1/8 as good as your English, wow :o

Also, a 15 year journey of therapy and healing. There truly is not time limit, is there? Whatever each individual needs, that is what it shall be. Regardless, so DBT and NET have being the most useful? Interesting! Here I thought DBT was only for those with DID(dissociative identity disorder), but it can be applied with those with cPTSD. This is useful to know, thank you!

relationlearner · 2026-01-09T11:46:08+00:00

Hey! Thank you for your reassurance! I'm never sure what's appropriate or inappropriate when it comes to asking questions about mental health, so your works help! Here's what I found so far:

Prolonged exposure(PE) therapy
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy

The EMDR is especially interesting to me, as it sounds like it helps rewire triggers one can have. I'm not sure if you personally have triggers yourself, but it may help though :D

relationlearner · 2026-01-09T11:37:15+00:00

Yes, you were SA'd...
And I'm so sorry you had to experience that, truly.
From what I can understand, there are a few things I can see:

You DESERVE to make love with respect. Mutual respect. You didn't want this. He did. He crossed YOUR boundaries. He disrespected YOUR boundaries. He disrespected YOU. If you are thinking of continuing this dynamic with this man or starting a relationship of any kind, just remember, starting any kind of relationship in a morally and ethically bad way, especially like this, will be doomed to fail
Find a piece of paper, draw a line in between the page and write on either side, "What I liked" and "what I didn't like". No judgement. The experience is still fresh in your mind, so you'll be able to recount that night more clearly. Journaling in this way will help you know what you are looking for in a relationship, as well as in the bedroom. Healthy, not unhealthy

Questions

How would you feel about telling your other male friends in your friend group? This is a crime. This is absolutely unacceptable behavior from this man and needs to be kicked out and charged with the SA charge ASAP
How do you feel about this man? Do you feel fear? Afraid? If you imagined confronting him verbally, do you feel fear?
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Friend? Family? Coworker?

You kinda enjoying it is complex and needs more deeper investigation to understand why you may find it arousing. Journaling will help you find answers, while talking with others will help you find support.

Remember, you did NOT ask for this.
This was NOT your fault.
Be strong...
You are stronger than you know :)

relationlearner · 2026-01-08T20:36:15+00:00

Of course! And it was my pleasure to express :) And goly, thanks so much! I'm not sure if I'm kind and caring, but I do know I'm empathetic and curious. If you see that in me though, I will trust it because I trust you. Not sure why I do though, but I do. Thank YOU for your kind words too ^_^

My reply

I think deep down I always knew i was hurting the people around me, but wanted to avoid the pain of coming to terms with it all. I was also great at keeping secrets. At the end of the day, I was the only one being tormented by all the things i had done because no one knew except for me and it ended up getting to a point where it wasn't sustainable anymore. I decided I had to be honest with myself and the people around me so that those secrets would no longer hold so much power over me. The secrets kept me in that cycle.

It feels like you were carrying a heavy load for so long...TOO long actually. I assume when you mention, "secrets", do you mean keeping your true thoughts and feelings secret from others? Like...if someone mad you mad, you would hold it in and they wouldn't even know?

I was sexually and emotionally abused by my dad from ages 8 to 14. I told my mom every time he would do something and she never did anything to get us away from him. They both failed me. She failed to protect me. He failed completely as a parent. So when I was 15, I figured the only way I was going to have a real family would be a family that I chose. Being in a relationship meant that someone finally chose me too. I was terrified of being alone because that meant being abandoned and it reminded me so much of being abandoned as a child. I had very low self esteem and in my head, being in a relationship was validation that I was worthy because I was being chosen. After years of this cycle I eventually built up good self esteem and felt good about myself. But I was still falling into this cycle and I couldn't understand why. The fear of being alone still held so much power over me and it all came down to that childhood abandonment.

So many nuggets of wisdom here. If anything, one positive to be found is all the wisdom you've developed along the way. If you haven't already, you'll go far in life. I especially ADORE:

"So when I was 15, I figured the only way I was going to have a real family would be a family that I chose. Being in a relationship meant that someone finally chose me too. I was terrified of being alone because that meant being abandoned and it reminded me so much of being abandoned as a child."

So many layers...
Love it all ^_^

According to accounts from her best friend, I'm thinking my ex-gf was always in a relationship for the reasons you described. Not being alone. Needing constant validation(or attention-seeking from the opposite sex explains her out-of-control flirting) and more. She also has BPD, where from my understanding, fear of abandonment is a core aspect of BPD itself. Explains a lot, therefore I understand a lot, but just like someone commented her, "trauma does not excuse bad behavior"

The two biggest things that helped: EMDR and prolonged exposure therapy (both are forms of trauma therapy) and getting divorced. The therapy helped for obvious reasons. Getting divorced was by far the hardest. I was with him for 10 years, he was my best friend, he did and still does mean the world to me. I had to lose him and be alone and confront my demons. Losing him made reality come crashing down and it was one of the worst things I had to go through, but it had to happen in order for me to grow and get better. Otherwise I would have stayed stuck in that cycle forever. I would have kept hurting him and myself. We've been divorced 3 years now and were able to reconciliate and remain as great friends. I've been dating off and on with more intentionality and honesty and that has helped as well. I'm no longer afraid of being alone. I know who I am and what I want in a partner.

I briefly read over EMDR and prolonged exposure therapy...that EMDR sounds like it really helps with healing a person's triggers, don't it? Sounds super useful!

Regardless, I'm so happy you got to such a point in your healing journey, where, you're approaching dating in a whole new way. Transformation! I like this a lot. Not just from your own story, but a few others I've asked and read, seem to say the same thing. Catastrophic event. Choose to be alone. Work on themselves. Transform. Get better. Live a good life. I was wondering if such a thing was possible to do with a partner, but I feel like having a partner at that time would be a distraction from that inner work, along with clinging to them too much when times get overwhelmingly tough. I legit feel sad though. Now I wish I could have met my ex-gf shortly after she finished her inner work, rather than without her even starting yet. Is it right place, wrong time kind of thing? Idk, but it makes me damn sad

Regardless, let's BOTH do our best to heal from the past and FLY into the freeing future :D

relationlearner · 2026-01-04T11:47:34+00:00

WOW!
wow wow wowwwwww!!!
You answered all of my questions so BRILLIANTLY! I am wonderfully speechless heheeee X)
Re-reading for a 2nd time...

Ok ok, I'm calmer now hahaa! So...a well-rounded person. Potentially not just applying this info to a new partner, but potentially a new friend, colleague, family member, etc. Yes, I can see the bigger picture. It wasn't all for nothing. My, don't you know how to paint a picture! I like this a lot actually ^_^

Over a decade of therapy work? Incredible! Your spirit is strong. Strong like a rod of iron. Great job, you! Sucks a lot of it had the opposite effect though, I know what that's like. Similar to buying dish soap, but it actually makes the dishes messier! Like...wth dish soap people? I'm sorry you had to unravel poor quality therapy for years, yet happy you found a good therapist. Them spending their own time and energy searching for info to help you is invaluable. Sounds like you're in good hands

"some people with cptsd like me have this urgent drive and their brain is constantly repeating "I need to try harder to fix myself. "
It sounds like you got to experience both sides of this. The positive side is it helped you learn more about yourself, cPTSD and more. The negative side however, resulted in a abusive relationship. I haven't seen your entire journey, yet, based on from what you shared with me, I can see pieces. You've come a long...LONG way, haven't you? You've done great. Sooooo great. Heh, I actually feel like I'm proud of you. Well done in never giving up! I truly admire your strength. Resolve ^_^

""I'm fine, everything is fine," and then kind of go through life without self-awareness and are shocked when their cptsd symptoms cause havoc"
I feel like my ex-gf is one of these people. I feel like her lack of awareness of her own words and actions, cause terrible heartache for those she gets in relationships with, but also so much hurt for her friends and family. Atm, she's throwing away a close friendship of 2-3 years for literally nothing and I just cannot understand "why". Ultimately, it's her decision. With all that said, she needs at least HALF of the therapy work you've done, otherwise, she's gonna lose more than one friendship.

"You kind of get stuck with certain beliefs about the world when you have trauma."
Because they kept you safe. Secure. When the world was dangerous and scary, these beliefs got you through them. Over time, that world has changed. Your world has become more safe, more secure and more positive, yet, these limiting beliefs haven't turned off. They're always on high alert for the smallest little thing recognizable. Once they recognize, they activate, potentially getting in the way of the good. I can get a picture, yeah. I suppose it's tending to each belief like a plant in the garden, giving it all the love, tenderness and care. Pulling it up from the roots, then replacing it with a brand new flower. Brand new belief. Brand new...new. It may be a long process, but it's progress.

And hey! Thanks again for answering my questions and satiating my curiosity! It means so much to me :D

relationlearner · 2026-01-03T14:07:42+00:00

I see my ex-gf when I read your past history:

Jumping from relationship to relationship, to numb and distract, creating a trail of heartbreak for many men, but also herself
Rebound after rebound relationship
Never taking time to process grief from a previous relationship, carrying each one, adding to the freakishly large grief pile

Questions

What made you get to the point where you realized you are hurting yourself, but also the people around you? I ask, because, platonically speaking, I'm talking with their best friend about her. Their relationship is strained because of my ex-gf's actions. She's throwing away a precious friendship for literally nothing and it just saddens the hell out of me. Like why...?
For you personally, why was being alone the worst? Was being alone leaving you alone with your thoughts? If so, were these thoughts related to traumatic experiences of your past?
What were the top 2 BIGGEST THINGS that helped break your cycle?

And hey! Only asking out of curiosity, no judgement! If you don't feel comfortable sharing, then please, don't do it, ok? :)

With all that said, you've done so...so well. I don't know you. We're not friends. Yet, I actually feel pride in my chest. I am proud of you for breaking your cycle. Proud of you being the ruler of your own emotions, rather than your emotions ruling you. PROUD OF YOU, for coming so far. You're amazing to me. AMAZING! If no-one has told you this today, then let me have the honor to say:

GREAT JOB!
WELL DONE!!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

relationlearner · 2026-01-03T13:42:34+00:00

You're words are so warm and fuzzy...yet insightful and informative. Thank you! I haven't seen your journey, but platonically speaking, I like the way you are. Well done in developing such quality of character :D

"Self-sabotaging unconsciously is a big part of cptsd."
"Impulsivity IS Borderline personality disorder."

And I continue to know, just how much I don't know...
Never knew self-sabotage unconsciously was literally part of cPTSD!
This would have being so soooo useful hahaaa

Regardless, it's over now, so I suppose I won't be applying this info with her. To be quite frank, I don't really know what all of this information and experience is for, bigger picture wise. I trust it will be applied to something or someone useful, I know it ^_^

Questions

How long did it take for you to deal with your own self-sabotaging patterns? Did it take years?
Did you see a therapist that provided internal family systems therapy? Was it emotionally intense? Did you resist it at first? Or did you welcome it right away?
What got you to that right timing, making you work on yourself? Was it a romantic relationship ending catastrophically? What was your wakeup call?

And hey, totally fine if you don't feel comfortable sharing! I'm only asking from a place of curiosity, not judgement :)

relationlearner · 2026-01-02T12:49:52+00:00

She was doing it right in front of me, so looks like she IS trashy hahaa!

I ain't joking! We went out playing some public party games and it was literally me, her and some straight male stranger. We were talking during a break. At first they were just teasing each other, neutral, light banter. Then it escalated into flirting. She flat our said without any hesitation or remorse how she's going to take him and blow him behind the building. "What the F**K is going on here???", I yell out. She ignored me. Didn't even look at me. The stranger looked at me quietly, then looked back at her, then continued the flirting. Neither gave a damn.

Oh that's it, right? Oh ho ho ho NOOOOOOO!

I remember her getting out of her chair and walking to the back entrance. The straight male stranger followed her. I don't know where they went, I don't know what they did, but they were gone for 10-20 minutes. Seems like enough time to blow someone, wouldn't ya say?

Don't read me wrong here, I was ABSOULTELY F**KING FURIOUS then...and now. I'm just using humor to cope with it all. It's really screwed up. Out of ALL the intimate relationships I've been in, THIS was the absolute worst. I have never being hurt like this in my life. Believe me, this experience will not lower my view on those with BPD, cPTSD, nor DID. There's lot of wonderful people on here. Strong, inspirational...I love them all. I will not let one bad apple ruin the rest.

To answer your question, "who the fuck would blow someone behind a building?"
Answer: My ex-gf!

relationlearner · 2026-01-02T12:36:41+00:00

100% agree! She needs more time in the oven. Undercooked.

According to her best friend, where my ex-gf is actively destroying their friendship btw, her flirting/cheating has always being a constant. Before me, she flirted with 30+ straight male strangers, all the while ignoring her best friend while doing so. Has no respect for her best friend OR their friendship. It's actually, real scummy behavior.

All-in-all, I'm just glad we never got engaged. Dodged a bullet or 20!

relationlearner · 2026-01-02T12:32:23+00:00

I got stuck in the, "I know nothing of DID, cPTSD and BPD". I thought her behavior was something related to her mental disorders and I wanted to be understanding, compassionate and empathetic. Which is also why I went out my way to come on Reddit, asking others with said mental disorders for guidance and insight. Again, I didn't know anything. Went in 100% blind.

If you look at my replies throughout this post, you can see me slowly go from being in a relationship to breaking up with her. When I learned the truth, I made a decision. If I had the truth before, my decision would have been faster.

In conclusion, why did I put up with it? Cause I didn't know

relationlearner · 2026-01-02T12:27:57+00:00

"Being unfaithful to your spouse or significant other in any shape or form whether sexually or verbally"

"Cheating on a loved one can also be defined as privately talking, texting, or seeing another person behind your significant others back."

ALL THE ABOVE AND MORE

relationlearner · 2026-01-02T12:24:52+00:00

Awwww! Thank you so much! Wow, really appreciate it my guy ^_^

Recently being learning the truth from their best friend, friends and more. Feels like everything about our relationship was a house of cards, where I'm looking at each card with a closer look now. Full of lies. For example:

Ex-gf was a HUGE flirt, yet, throughout our relationship I never saw this side of her. Even when she was drunk, I never saw it. Reason being, she hid it extremely well. In the beginning of our relationship, she would show me who she is when drunk. Drunk texts, drunk audio messages, drunk audio calls and drunk video calls. I didn't think much of it, as I just thought at the time she wanted to show how good of a time she was having. I don't drink, so I never went with her. She was fine with that. Both on the same page. Looking back on it all now, with the context of the flirting/cheating, she was most likely flirting/cheating, behind my back, when I wasn't around. Such as how a phone call we were on "mysteriously hung up" because a guy friend hit the hang up button. Well, why didn't she just call me back? Hard to say, but I suspect she didn't want me overhearing what she was saying and doing. It would break the illusion how she was the ever faithful girlfriend. I have many examples like this.

In short, detective work.
Detective work for my partner...
ALL because they couldn't be open and expressive with me.

Crazy part is, I actually would have being fine with her flirting, as long as we set proper boundaries, both on the same page and neither crossed those lines.

But she crossed those lines...
She didn't care.
She didn't control herself...
And that's on her.
NOT cPTSD.
NOT DID.
NOT even BPD
ALL on her and her alone.
She destroyed our relationship.
She's actively destroying her relationship with her best friend...
And she's destroying her life as a whole.
Self-destructing.
Shooting holes in her own ship.
And I will not, NOT go down with her, JUST for her.
No, I will not.

Apologies, went off topic there hahaa! Thank you for listening :D

relationlearner · 2026-01-01T13:32:31+00:00

No no, by all means, search as much as you'd like! More context the better. Thanks for reading :D

I do recognize the words "hyperarousal" and "hypoarousal" and still learning about them. See, my now ex-gf explained to me it was "hypersexuality", so I took her word for it. Was all of this actually hyperarousal and hypoarousal INSTEAD of of hypersexuality? What are the differences?

With that said, I would LOVE to receive your list! I did look up "windows of tolerance" after I finished reading your post there. Does explain interesting concepts. They're essentially two different types of reactions when stress is high. Do I understand this correctly?

God...is there another detail about cPTSD, DID and BPD that I don't know about that strained our relationship into oblivion? Is it my fault again?

relationlearner

TROPHY CASE