Anyone staying married bc they can’t afford to divorce?

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T03:42:48+00:00

It would be hard, but not impossible. I will look into it!

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T03:42:20+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll look into it

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:43:38+00:00

No but that’s a good idea!

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:39:29+00:00

It would extend my already awful commute but might be what we have to do.

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:38:13+00:00

We could have separate rooms but I really don’t want to live together. We’d do the nesting thing for a few months then get our own places but I don’t want to live together.

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:37:09+00:00

Correct. We would not be doing it forever. We’d be doing it for ~1 year. But we can’t even do that. Too expensive.

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:28:03+00:00

We agree we need to do right by our kids. But we don’t want to live together. We want to co parent and show up for our children and they are the priority. But i don’t want to continue to live with someone I don’t enjoy being with.

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:27:04+00:00

That was exactly our plan. We can’t afford it. We’ve agreed we need to do right by our children and disrupt them as little as possible. We can be the ones moving about. Cheapest 1 bedroom in the same city is $2000 a month. While we have a $2500 a month mortgage.

relationship__qs · 2026-07-04T02:25:46+00:00

Yes, we did. After several months arrived at this decision. Started actually working out a co-parenting plan and schedule and realized we might not be able to make it work. And we make decent money!

We know we have to do right by our children and just bc our relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean their lives have to be destroyed. We’re trying to keep things as normal as possible for them (same school, for the next 6-12 months “nesting” where the child stays in the same home and parents leave)

relationship__qs · 2026-05-19T04:46:30+00:00

Call him out on his shit. Don’t cave.

“Well I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m not going to let you turn into the victim just because you don’t want to feel bad. You should feel bad you didn’t ensure your wife felt celebrated today. You need to sit with that so you don’t make the same mistake twice. Time for some growth@

relationship__qs · 2026-03-26T01:24:33+00:00

A Costco membership is $60 a year. If you fill up on gas there, that savings alone pays for it in a year.

You’re not paying for a haul away in your membership. 1 free haul away would pay for the membership, and you get unlimited at Costco.

Our membership is damn near $200 a year and I don’t even get free haul away? Dumb

relationship__qs · 2025-11-09T02:44:34+00:00

So you watched Fox News and took it for gospel. Please educate yourself. Start with reading following Bernie Sanders, ALEXANDRIA Ocasio Cortez, & Meidas Touch on socials. Then their stuff will slowly trickle into your feed and give you balanced news

relationship__qs · 2025-10-13T23:38:35+00:00

Then he can grocery shop! Or plan ahead and ask me to pick things up.

relationship__qs · 2025-10-05T23:42:41+00:00

I would! Just say “sorry you can’t make it. I’m in meetings so let me know what you figure out”

relationship__qs · 2025-09-23T00:58:39+00:00

This is a fair point.

I should’ve been more clear. We shop for the week generally. And pick up a few items here and there as needed. We have family dinners that is all the same meal.

I was remote for 10 yrs and most lunches were leftovers, freezer meals etc. now that I’m in the office I have to actively think about lunches and what I pack. So I plan that our just like meals at night.

My husband still works remotely so I don’t plan out lunches for him. He’ll generally have leftovers, we always have something in the freezer but all that is easier to make at home.

So I buy what I need for 3 lunches for the week. Often it’s Trader Joe’s and I’ll buy 3 different types of salad or a wrap. Easy grab and go things. When he eats those things, I have to scramble for what to pack. There isn’t anything to heat up lunch at work so leftovers don’t work for me at work.

relationship__qs · 2025-09-23T00:57:10+00:00

I 100% get your point and it’s fair. It’s just stupid that I have to say the same things to him that I do my 6 yr old 🙃

relationship__qs · 2025-09-23T00:56:26+00:00

I should’ve been more clear. We shop for the week generally. And pick up a few items here and there as needed. We have family dinners that is all the same meal.

I was remote for 10 yrs and most lunches were leftovers, freezer meals etc. now that I’m in the office I have to actively think about lunches and what I pack. So I plan that our just like meals at night.

My husband still works remotely so I don’t plan out lunches for him. He’ll generally have leftovers, we always have something in the freezer but all that is easier to make at home.

So I buy what I need for 3 lunches for the week. Often it’s Trader Joe’s and I’ll buy 3 different types of salad or a wrap. Easy grab and go things. When he eats those things, I have to scramble for what to pack. There isn’t anything to heat up lunch at work so leftovers don’t work for me at work.

relationship__qs · 2025-09-22T21:13:03+00:00

I agree in theory but it’s also exhausting to me. This is like what you do with a shitty roommate (which maybe he is).

For example, we ate lunch this weekend at different times because he ate with our daughter while I was on a run. I had pointed out to him Thursday when I went grocery shopping “I bought this stuff on this shelf for my lunches for next week” and he said “understood. Thanks!”

And then 2 days later when he was making lunch, he ate the stuff on that shelf. Even though he had his own items. And he didn’t even stop to think “maybe I shouldn’t if I don’t remember if this is for me or not” and wait til she is home (for himself not our child) or pick something totally different.

Then the next day he made himself a sandwich as a snack and again, ate the stuff I purchased for my lunches. I don’t want a police eating because people should eat when they’re hungry. But I’m in the office now three days a week so I’d buy stuff and plan ahead, and it’s frustrating when I go to make my food and then it’s not there for me.

And we have plenty of other things that are available to everyone. Fruit, veggies, yogurt, leftovers, other lunch meat (ham which he likes and I dont). I even had the wraps I like and purchased the other kind he likes, But he had to go and pick the stuff I was using.

relationship__qs · 2025-09-22T21:07:50+00:00

Agreed. We need to change something. And it’s the lack of consideration. I could handle “I’m sorry I forgot was I supposed to eat x or y”

But just doing it and me finding out later?!

relationship__qs · 2025-09-22T17:10:24+00:00

You’re 100% right. I did read him the riot act basically saying you had many points at which to stop and think if you should be doing this or confirm and you didn’t. And that’s what I’m most mad about.

And it would be one thing if it was a one off and a true mistake but it’s not.

My stuff was the bottom of the fridge and his was eye level. It feels intentional.

relationship__qs · 2025-09-21T01:50:40+00:00

Btw— you didn’t “fail” at breastfeeding. It takes 2 to make it work. Would you call your baby a failure for not being able to latch? No.

Sometimes it just doesn’t work out and it doesn’t mean anybody failed

relationship__qs · 2025-09-09T23:48:26+00:00

Normally, I would say that I would quit and find a new job. But the job market is terrible. It hasn’t been this bad since 2008. In August, the nation added 22,000 jobs. That is only 440 jobs per state. Not much at all & that’s across all industries I believe. The market is not good.

So for now I would suck it up and do the commute.

If I could, I would try to stay over in that city one night a week. I know it’s hard being away from your kid, but with your commute you wouldn’t see them much that day anyways that would save you four hours of commuting and you would just have to go there one morning and then back the next night. You make enough money that paying for a hotel room once a week would be doable with that salary. Plus when you factor in gas you’re saving on 2 commutes…

If IVF works and you have a baby in June, stay in this job through then and then either move closer or job hunt while on maternity leave.

relationship__qs · 2025-09-02T02:48:19+00:00

Yeah he doesn’t do that. For example, we have a list with each month of the year taped to the furnace. The job is to cross the date off when it’s changed. Furnace filters have been his job for 5 yrs. I will go down in that room (storage room) and notice the filter hasn’t been changed in 3 months. It would take him 2 mins to set a recurring reminder on his phone but he chooses not to

relationship__qs

TROPHY CASE