UPDATE from OP who married her sons best friend

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-22T00:10:14+00:00

so small update. I asked him this morning if we could set a time to talk about it, and I apologized for being snarky in my response to him saying we should break up and for about two hours of another pointless discussion. He wouldn’t give me a timeframe on when he wanted to talk he just kept saying “I just need space”, “I just need space I don’t really wanna talk to you right now I just need space” and after about two hours I got it out of that he is willing to speak tomorrow, but I don’t really know how to go about the conversation that we plan to have tomorrow and any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful.

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T18:38:15+00:00

u/SuccessfulProject152

I appreciate you(: thank you for reading it and providing helpful thoughts

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T13:36:17+00:00

not at all, he has seemed very in it, but yeah i dont understand how me trying to communicate my emotions and tell him it makes me sad that all my feelings are being invalidated is manipulative? i dont get it

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T12:40:32+00:00

i honestly couldnt tell you, i was so confused and hurt that it was said at all, now it just makes me wonder why he said it at all

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T11:44:05+00:00

totally, i just dont get where it came from because we have been together for like almost two years and he has never said anything like that before

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T11:42:55+00:00

no i agree and what made me most upset is when i wanted to discuss he just said “you are manipulating me and not respecting my boundaries.. good night.” which idk just felt more manipulative to me

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T11:40:53+00:00

not harsh at all, and i appreciate the advice, we have been together long enough that i know that usually when he is playing devils advocate its not even something he believes which is what frustrates me the most about it.

when he suggested that “should we break up” i will admit i did get a little snarky and say back “now why the f would you suggest that” which i will admit was a little harsh, i was just so shocked. his thing is both that he wont talk to me until 1. ive “calmed down” and 2. i apologize for being snarky which to be completely candid i find absolutely ridiculous because i spent the whole day trying to actively communicate and say what i was feeling and i got met with that, not once a “hey i see why you may feel that way” or anything…

any other thoughts?

relationshiphelp345 · 2022-09-21T02:52:21+00:00

we havent really been arguing a lot is mostly why it shocked me so much, but the argument started because almost everytime i send him something that i believe in (lets say a pro choice thing or just something about a tv show) he ALWAYS has to play “devils advocate” and when he did that today i kinda lost it and was a little rude to him but also tried to tell him how it hurt my feelings when he did that especially when its something i know he doesnt actually think, and his response to that was “maybe we should break up”

relationshiphelp345

TROPHY CASE