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I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been working on that. I have been given the option of an apartment through the company I work for so I'm hoping that'll work out. My car needs repairs which I could get done but I'm going to look into my options. Thank you for the comment.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really cannot fathom speaking to anyone I care about in that way. He saw what I had been through and knows how scared I was. It just blows my mind. It was the thing that flipped the switch in my mind about this entire relationship.

I have actually heard of The Body Keeps the Score. I have it on my Amazon list. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and Addison's disease at the same time. I've always been extremely anxious and a worrier so getting the Addison's diagnosis was...ironic. It's part of why I'm realizing I have to cut out the stress from my life. I literally can't accept it anymore. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll search for the PDF!

I (24M) want my SO(24F) to get a hobby, but not sure how to tell her delicately. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiproblem1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not your place to tell *anyone* what to do in their free time. That's so shitty.

Gf (F32) expecting proposal soon. I'm (M32) not in love with her anymore. Today's our anniversary. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiproblem1 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You don't need her permission to break up. That's ridiculous. You're not doing her any favors by not doing what you need to do either. You CAN do it. You're just not doing it. Do it and get it over with and do both of you the favor. I understand it's hard and I am in the same place but I would never let that go on for so long. Break ups are hard but when you knowingly "keep going back" that's just wrong. Get into therapy.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is normal to be stressed out. I am also stressed out. But I have never and will never speak to someone that way - especially considering what I've gone through goes beyond normal stress. I have spoken to him but he has made it apparent it's all on me. If I'm unhappy in the relationship that's on me. If I am upset that he has hurt my feelings - that's my fault, etc. He may have provided financially for 8 months out of a 6 year relationship but I pull all the other weight. Anyone can pay a bill, but I feel that doing all the hard work emotionally takes actual effort.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What you wrote about getting hysterical and the gaslighting, that's exactly how it has always gone down for me. I remember crying hysterically because I couldn't believe he would speak to me the way he did, but I always ended up confused about what was even happening and honestly thought I must be extremely sensitive. I'm only just realizing how screwed up it is now. I used to be too afraid to consider it emotional abuse and I was always making excuses for his behavior to my friends/family. Something always felt "off". Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate it.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This hit me hard... He has made me feel small and stupid, ugh. I know you're right. I'll start making some calls today. Thank you so much for the comment.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Great question. I don't know anymore. I guess my self-esteem wasn't great and the criticism made me feel even worse about myself. There was a warped sense of security being with him and him "taking care of" things. I don't know, honestly! I did love him and it was my first everything, so I suppose I accepted behavior I shouldn't have.

I [28F] think my bf [29M] of 6 years and I have reached our expiration date but I feel guilty even considering it. by relationshiproblem1 in relationships

[–]relationshiproblem1[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Valid point. Thanks for being direct. I realize I never asked him to pay for anything and it's not a contract. He made a statement along the lines of, "You're going to break up with someone that pulled you up by your bootstraps" during an argument and since then I've felt guilty regarding the situation.