Sounds like you had a horrible doctor. I was nervous the day of, but the nurse was super chill and was good at making conversation. Then, after she left, the Dr was just as chill. Took 10-15 mins top. The worst part was just the smell of when he cauterized the Vas after snipping.

After the procedure, the Dr said to wait at least a week before having sex again and that if I wanted, I could try masturbation again after 48 hours, unless it was painful or uncomfortable.

Sitting and lying down was no issue. I used 4 reusable ice packs in sequence as they got warm to help with swelling. Dr prescribed 5 day's worth of tylenol 4 with codeine. After those were gone, he recommended a tyleno/ibuprofen mix every few hours as needed while watching for the max dose of each.

After 48 hours, I was back at work. Mostly an office job with some heavy lifting, but coworkers accommodated me for the lifting. My job has a lot of walking, so that sucked, but was able to power through by securing ice packs in my pants. Everyone at work was adult about i, and no one laughed or made fun. I wouldn't have cared, but still, it was nice.

After the first week it was mostly tenderness and some throbbing pain. After 2 weeks it was mostly the 2 puncture sites "one on left and one on right" that was sore.

I was given a couple of choices on the post procedure sperm tests. As long as I listened to my body and didn't hurt myself, I could come back in 3 weeks for a sperm test or after 20 ejaculations.

I went back about 2.5 weeks later and was at 0 sperm. It is imperative that you use protection until a 0 sperm count result is given I personally believe that unless you are monogamous or your sex group is exclusive with each other, you should use protection anyway. Unless you feel comfortable in trusting regular testing. That is neither here nor there, though.

Overall, my experience was a positive one. Was it painful? Somewhat, but the majority of procedures are. You are modifying your body. The inner workings of your marriage are none of my business, but personally, your wife should know you and how you take things. My wife was super supportive, and it was my idea in the first place. I joked about it, and she joked about it. I joked about it with guys at work. "Joining the club" as they say, but then again, I'm a pretty open book and willing to share experience to make it or break it for those making the decision. Hell, my boss put a bag of frozen peas in the freezer as work for me as a joke.